You’re sitting in traffic. Someone cuts you off. Suddenly, there’s a voice in your head screaming about how much of a jerk that driver is, how you’re going to be late, and how everything today is just falling apart.
Who is that?
Seriously. Think about it. If you can hear the voice, then you aren't the voice. You’re the one listening. This simple, slightly trippy realization is the entire foundation of The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer, a book that has basically become the "manual for the human mind" since it dropped in 2007. It stayed on the New York Times bestseller list for years not because it’s full of "woo-woo" magic, but because it addresses the one thing we all share: that annoying, neurotic roommate living inside our skulls.
Michael Singer wasn't always a spiritual teacher. He was a guy working on his doctorate in economics when he had a spontaneous realization about the nature of thought. He eventually moved into the woods, built a meditation center (Temple of the Universe), and—interestingly enough—founded a billion-dollar medical software company. He’s a guy who understands both the silence of the woods and the chaos of the boardroom.
The Voice That Never Shuts Up
Most of us spend our lives doing exactly what that inner voice tells us to do. If it says we’re failures, we feel depressed. If it says we’re amazing, we feel high. But Singer argues that the voice is just a mechanism for processing data. It’s like a computer running a script based on your past experiences.
Why does it talk? To make you feel in control.
The world is huge, unpredictable, and frankly, a bit scary. Your mind tries to "verbalize" the world to make it feel smaller. If you can name it and complain about it, you feel like you’ve done something. But you haven't. You’ve just narrated your own stress. The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer challenges you to step back. Just watch the voice. Don't fight it. Don't judge it. Just notice that it's talking.
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That Heavy Feeling in Your Chest (Samskaras)
Ever wonder why a specific song or a certain smell can ruin your entire day? Singer uses a term from yogic philosophy called Samskaras.
Basically, these are unfinished energy patterns. When something happens to us that we don't like—a breakup, an insult, a failure—and we don't fully process it, we push it down. We "stuff" it. Singer compares this to having a thorn embedded in your arm.
You have two choices:
You can build a complex system of padding and protection so nothing ever touches the thorn. You can avoid certain clothes, stop hugging people, and live your life around the pain.
Or, you can just pull the damn thorn out.
Most of us choose the first option. We build "comfort zones" that are actually just prisons designed to keep our old wounds from being poked. We stop going to certain places because an ex might be there. We don't take risks because we're afraid of feeling that "poking" sensation of rejection. Singer’s advice is radical: let it hurt. When someone pokes a wound, don't blame them. Thank them for showing you where the thorn is so you can finally let it go.
Staying Open When You Want to Close
This is probably the most practical part of the book.
Life is energy. When you feel happy, your heart feels "open." You have endless energy. You could stay up all night. When you're depressed or hurt, you "close." You feel heavy, tired, and blocked.
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Singer’s big secret? Don't close.
It sounds overly simple, but it’s incredibly difficult. When something happens that you don't like, your instinct is to tighten your chest and protect your heart. Singer argues that if you just stay relaxed—literally keep your shoulders down and your breathing steady—the energy can move through you. If you don't fight the "bad" feeling, it can't stay. It's only when we resist pain that it gets stuck inside us.
The Myth of the "Right" Circumstances
We all have a list. "I'll be happy when I get the promotion." "I'll be peaceful when the kids graduate." "I'll be fine once I lose ten pounds."
This is a lie.
If your happiness depends on the outside world behaving itself, you’re never going to be happy for long. The world is too chaotic for that. The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer flips the script by suggesting that unconditional happiness is a choice. You decide, right now, that no matter what happens, you aren't going to close your heart.
Does that mean you become a doormat? No. It means you deal with life's problems from a place of clarity rather than a place of triggered panic. You can fix a broken pipe or deal with a difficult boss much more effectively if you aren't also fighting an internal war at the same time.
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Death as a Teacher
One of the final chapters deals with death, and it’s surprisingly refreshing. Singer suggests that death is the best teacher we have. If you knew you were going to die in a week, would you really be arguing with your spouse about the laundry? Would you care about that mean comment on social media?
Probably not.
Death puts everything in perspective. It strips away the trivialities and leaves you with what actually matters: the experience of being alive. By keeping death as a "friend" on your shoulder, you stop wasting your life on things that don't matter. You become untethered from the petty drama of the ego.
Practical Steps to Living "Untethered"
Reading the book is one thing; living it is another. Here is how you actually apply Singer’s insights without needing to move to a monastery.
- Practice the "Seat of the Self": Several times a day, just check in. Ask, "Who is aware that I am thinking right now?" This creates a tiny bit of space between you and your thoughts. That space is where freedom lives.
- The "Relax and Release" Method: Next time you're stuck in traffic or someone is being rude, notice your body tightening. Intentionally relax your shoulders. Soften your stomach. Let the annoyance pass through you like wind through a screen door. Don't grab onto it.
- Stop the Narrative: When your mind starts building a whole story about why your friend hasn't texted back ("They hate me," "I'm annoying," "I'm going to die alone"), recognize it as just a story. It's not reality. It's just the roommate talking.
- Question Your Preferences: We spend so much energy trying to make the world match our preferences. Try going a whole hour without complaining about anything—not even the weather or the temperature of your coffee. Just witness it.
Ultimately, The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer isn't about becoming "perfect" or never feeling pain. It’s about becoming the observer of your life rather than the victim of it. It’s about realizing that you are the vast, silent sky, and your thoughts and emotions are just the weather passing through. The weather changes constantly, but the sky remains untouched.
To really get the most out of this, start small. Don't try to stay "un-triggered" during a major life crisis. Try it when you drop a spoon or when the internet is slow. Build the muscle of staying open in the small moments, and eventually, the big moments won't be able to knock you off your feet. You'll find that you aren't actually afraid of life anymore, because you've realized that nothing "out there" can actually touch the "you" that is watching.