It starts with that jagged, caffeinated drum beat. You know the one. Before Sarah Jessica Parker ever stepped into a pair of Manolos or navigated the dating scene of Manhattan, she was Patty Greene, a frizzy-haired, glasses-wearing teen just trying to survive high school. But it wasn't just the outfits or the "totally tubular" slang that set the tone for the 1982 cult classic show. It was that sound. The square pegs theme song didn't just play over the opening credits; it acted as a frantic, neon-soaked manifesto for every kid who felt like they didn't fit in.
Honestly, most TV themes from the early eighties were pretty bland. You had your orchestral sweeps or your cheesy synth-pop ballads that felt like they were written by a committee in a boardroom. Not this one. The Waitresses—a post-punk, New Wave band out of Akron, Ohio—brought a raw, nervous energy to the track that perfectly mirrored the social anxiety of the show's protagonists. It was jittery. It was loud. It was unapologetically weird.
The Band Behind the Noise
The Waitresses weren't some studio-manufactured group. They were led by songwriter Chris Butler and fronted by the late, great Patty Donahue. If her voice sounds familiar, it’s probably because you’ve heard "I Know What Boys Like" or the holiday staple "Christmas Wrapping" a thousand times. Donahue had this specific way of singing—a sort of deadpan, rhythmic spoken-word style—that made her sound like she was letting you in on a secret while simultaneously making fun of you.
Anne Beatts, the creator of Square Pegs and one of the original writers for Saturday Night Live, knew exactly what she was doing when she tapped them for the job. She didn't want a generic jingle. She wanted something that felt like the Mudd Club or a basement party in SoHo.
The lyrics are simple but devastatingly accurate to the teenage experience. "One size does not fit all," Donahue drones. It’s a basic sentiment, but in 1982, in the middle of a decade obsessed with conformity and "Preppy" handbooks, it was a radical statement. The song basically tells the listener that being a "square peg in a round hole" isn't just a metaphor for being awkward—it’s a badge of honor.
A Masterclass in New Wave Tension
Musically, the track is a fascinatng mess of contradictions. You have this driving, almost mechanical bassline that feels like it’s pushing you down a hallway you don't want to go down. Then, the saxophone kicks in. Mars Williams, who played sax for The Waitresses (and later The Psychedelic Furs), adds these frantic, squealing flourishes that sound like a panic attack put to music.
It’s brilliant.
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Most people forget that the song actually appeared on the band's 1982 EP, I Could Rule the World if I Could only Get the Parts. It wasn't just a TV snippet; it was a fully realized piece of music. When you listen to the full version, you realize how much of that "New Wave" DNA is packed into those few minutes. It’s got the sarcasm of Devo and the danceability of Blondie, but with a Midwest grit that feels very specific to the Akron scene.
Why the Square Pegs Theme Song Hit Different
Usually, when a show tries to be "cool" and "current," it fails miserably. Think about all those shows in the 90s that tried to use grunge and just sounded like corporate rock. But Square Pegs felt authentic because it embraced the fringe. The square pegs theme song worked because it wasn't trying to appeal to the popular kids. It was written by outsiders, for outsiders.
I think about the guest stars the show had. Devo appeared. Bill Murray showed up. The show was a magnet for the counterculture of the time. The theme song served as the gateway. If you liked that opening riff, you were "in." If it sounded like noise to you, you were probably the type of person who thought Lauren Hutchinson was the hero of the story.
The show only lasted one season—20 episodes total—before being canceled. It was too smart, maybe too niche, for a 1982 audience. But the song lived on. It became a shorthand for a specific kind of 80s nostalgia that isn't about neon leg warmers or Rubik's Cubes. It's about that feeling of standing at the edge of the gymnasium during a dance, wishing you were literally anywhere else.
The Impact on Sound Design
If you look at modern shows like Stranger Things or even Sex Education, you can see the ripples of what Square Pegs started. They use music not just as background noise, but as a character. The Waitresses provided a template for how to use indie or alternative music to define a show's identity.
The production on the track is also worth noting. It has that "thin" 80s sound—lots of treble, not much low-end thump—which actually helps the vocals cut through. Patty Donahue’s delivery is so dry it’s almost parched. She isn't trying to impress you with her range. She’s telling a story.
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Deconstructing the Lyrics
"I'd like to be the girl who's in the group."
That's the opening line of the show's intro. It’s heartbreakingly honest. It’s not about wanting to be the prom queen; it’s just about wanting to be included. The song oscillates between this desire for acceptance and a fierce pride in being different.
The chorus is where the magic happens:
Square pegs, square pegs...
Square pegs, square pegs!
It's repetitive, almost like a playground chant. It gets stuck in your head and refuses to leave. It’s a "hook" in every sense of the word. By the time the episode starts, the audience is already in the right headspace. They’re ready to watch Patty and Lauren fail at being popular, because the music has already told them that being popular is overrated anyway.
Honestly, the square pegs theme song is one of the few pieces of 80s media that doesn't feel dated in a "cringe" way. It feels like a time capsule, sure, but the emotions it taps into—the jittery energy, the social friction—are universal.
What People Get Wrong About the Song
A lot of folks assume this was a "work for hire" jingle. It wasn't. Chris Butler has spoken in interviews about how the song fit perfectly with what the band was already doing. They didn't have to change their sound to fit the show; the show was built to fit their sound.
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There's also a misconception that the song was a huge chart hit. While the band had success with other tracks, the theme itself remained more of a cult favorite. It’s the kind of song you find on a dusty 12-inch single in a used record store and feel like you’ve discovered buried treasure.
The Legacy of the Waitresses
Tragically, Patty Donahue passed away in 1996 at the age of 40. Her death solidified the band's status as a "gone too soon" phenomenon. But every time someone streams Square Pegs or watches a clip on YouTube, her voice comes back to life. She remains the patron saint of the awkward girl.
The song has been covered a few times, notably by the band Rogue Wave for the Heroes soundtrack (though that version is much more melancholic). But nothing touches the original. You need that 1982 grit. You need the sound of a band that's probably tired, definitely cynical, and completely okay with being weird.
If you’re looking to dive deeper into this specific era of music, you really have to look past the Top 40. The Waitresses were part of a larger movement of bands that were blending punk's DIY ethos with pop sensibilities. They were smart, funny, and didn't take themselves too seriously.
Actionable Steps for Music History Buffs
If the square pegs theme song has sent you down a rabbit hole of 80s New Wave nostalgia, here is how you can actually explore that sound properly:
- Track down the original EP: Don't just settle for the 45-second TV edit. Find the full version of "Square Pegs" on the I Could Rule the World if I Could only Get the Parts EP. It features an extended instrumental break that highlights the incredible chemistry between the bass and the saxophone.
- Explore the Akron Scene: The Waitresses didn't exist in a vacuum. Look into other Akron-based bands like Devo, The Bizarros, and Tin Huey. There was something in the water in Ohio in the late 70s that produced some of the most innovative music of the century.
- Listen to Chris Butler's later work: Butler is a fascinating songwriter who has continued to produce music that defies easy categorization. His ability to write "uncomfortable" pop songs is a rare skill.
- Analyze the TV/Music connection: Watch the first episode of Square Pegs and pay attention to how the incidental music (often also provided or influenced by the New Wave scene) interacts with the dialogue. It’s a masterclass in cohesive branding before "branding" was even a buzzword.
The theme song remains a masterstroke of television history. It didn't just tell you what the show was about; it told you how it felt to be there. In a world of round holes, it’s still the perfect square peg.