Joe Dante is a madman. I mean that in the best way possible, obviously. If you grew up in the late nineties, you probably remember the absolute fever dream that was the Small Soldiers movie gorgonites. They weren't just plastic toys; they were these weird, mismatched outcasts with a moral compass that felt way more "human" than the supposedly heroic Commando Elite. It’s funny how a movie meant to sell action figures ended up being this biting satire about military aggression and corporate greed.
Most people remember the Commandos. Major Chip Hazard is iconic. But the heart of that 1998 flick lived with Archer and his band of peaceful monsters. They were programmed to lose. Think about that for a second. In a world of high-stakes toy marketing, Hasbro and DreamWorks (along with Universal) gave us protagonists whose primary character trait was "learning how to hide." It’s brilliant. It’s also deeply weird.
The Stan Winston Magic and Why Puppets Win
You can’t talk about the Small Soldiers movie gorgonites without bowing down to Stan Winston. The guy was a legend. We’re talking Jurassic Park raptors and Terminator endoskeletons. While the movie definitely used CGI—pioneered by Industrial Light & Magic (ILM)—it’s the practical animatronics that give the Gorgonites their soul.
When Archer moves, he has weight.
There’s a specific jitter to his mechanical eyes that feels authentic. Modern Marvel movies often struggle with "floaty" characters because everything is rendered in a computer, but back in '98, these actors were often reacting to actual physical puppets. Frank Langella voiced Archer, and he brought this Shakespearean gravitas to a hunk of plastic. It shouldn’t work. It does.
The Gorgonites weren't just a single "type" of monster. You had Insaniac, who was basically a chaotic spin-cycle of limbs, and Slamfist, who looked like a rock had a mid-life crisis. Then there’s Troglokhan, the "navigator," who was essentially a Frankenstein’s monster of other toy parts by the end of the film. This design philosophy mirrored the theme of the movie: the Gorgonites were built to be diverse and peaceful, while the Commandos were identical, rigid, and violent.
A Masterclass in Character Design
The Gorgonites came from a fictional land called Gorgon. They didn't want to fight. Honestly, they just wanted to go home, even though "home" didn't actually exist outside of their programming. This creates a weirdly tragic layer to the movie.
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- Archer: The leader. Noble, cat-like, voiced with incredible warmth by Langella.
- Slamfist: The heavy hitter who hates violence.
- Insaniac: Pure 90s energy. Chaotic but harmless to his friends.
- Punch-It: The big guy. Every group needs a tank.
- Scratch-It: The scout. Small, fast, and jittery.
What’s wild is how the movie handles their "defeatist" programming. In the first act, they’re literally hiding in trash cans and behind bushes. It takes a human kid, Alan Winslow (played by Gregory Smith), to teach them that sometimes you have to fight back. It’s a subversion of the typical "hero’s journey" because the heroes are fundamentally designed to be losers.
The Voice Cast You Totally Forgot
Look at the credits of Small Soldiers. It’s insane. The Commando Elite were voiced by the original cast of The Dirty Dozen (Ernest Borgnine, Jim Brown, etc.), which is a top-tier cinephile Easter egg. But the Small Soldiers movie gorgonites had their own heavy hitters.
Beyond Frank Langella, you had Michael McKean and Christopher Guest. Yes, the This Is Spinal Tap guys. They brought a quirky, slightly off-beat rhythm to the Gorgonite dialogue. It made them feel like a community of individuals rather than a programmed unit. Jim Cummings, the voice of basically every childhood character ever (including Winnie the Pooh and Tigger), lent his talents here too.
The contrast in voices is key. The Commandos are all bark, all bravado, all "Atten-hut!" The Gorgonites speak with curiosity. They ask questions. They express fear. For a movie aimed at kids, the emotional intelligence of these plastic monsters was surprisingly high.
The Satire Most Kids Missed
Director Joe Dante is famous for Gremlins, and you can see that DNA all over the Gorgonites. He loves the "monster as the misunderstood hero" trope. In Small Soldiers, the real villains aren't just the Commandos; it's Globotech, the mega-corporation that put military-grade AI chips into toys.
The Gorgonites are the collateral damage of the military-industrial complex.
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That sounds heavy for a movie that had a Burger King tie-in, but it's true. The scene where the Commandos use Gwendy dolls (basically Barbie clones) as a lobotomized infantry unit is horrifying. It’s a critique of how toys—and by extension, kids—are weaponized by marketing. The Gorgonites represent the "other." They are different, so they are targeted. It’s a surprisingly poignant message for a film that features a toy tank shooting flaming tennis balls.
Why We Still Care Decades Later
Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, but the Small Soldiers movie gorgonites hold up because the craftsmanship is undeniable. We are currently living in an era where "legacy sequels" are everywhere. People keep asking for a Small Soldiers reboot.
Would it work today? Maybe. But you'd lose the clunky, tactile charm of the 90s.
The way Slamfist’s arm moves with a mechanical whir or the way Archer’s ears twitch—that’s hard to replicate with just pixels. There’s a soul in the "limitations" of 1998 technology. The film also didn't talk down to its audience. It was violent. Those toys were legitimately dangerous. When the Gorgonites finally decide to take a stand, it feels earned because we’ve seen them get kicked around for ninety minutes.
The Rarity of the Toys
If you try to find original 1998 Gorgonite figures today, get ready to open your wallet. The Kenner line was legendary. They were big, sturdy, and surprisingly detailed. Finding an Archer in good condition with his bow intact is like finding a needle in a haystack. Most of them ended up with chewed-off ears or lost limbs because, well, kids actually played with them.
The irony? The movie’s toys were "flawed" in the story but became "perfect" collectibles in real life. Collectors hunt for the "Transformation" versions or the electronic ones that barked phrases in Frank Langella’s booming voice.
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Actionable Steps for the Modern Fan
If you're looking to dive back into the world of Gorgonites or introduce them to a new generation, skip the low-res YouTube clips. The movie was shot on 35mm and looks surprisingly crisp on modern screens.
Watch the "making of" featurettes. Seriously. Seeing the Stan Winston Studio team puppeteering the Gorgonites is a masterclass in film history. You’ll see how they used rods, cables, and remote controls to bring Archer to life. It makes the viewing experience ten times better when you realize a guy was sweating under a table just to make a toy's eyebrow move.
Track down the "Prop Store" archives. Every now and then, actual screen-used Gorgonite puppets go up for auction. Even if you can't afford the $10,000 price tag, the high-resolution photos in the auction listings show incredible details—like the weathered paint on Slamfist's "skin" or the intricate wiring inside the damaged Commandos.
Analyze the score. Jerry Goldsmith did the music. The same guy who did Star Trek and The Omen. Listen to the "Gorgonite" theme versus the "Commando" theme. The Commandos have this rigid, brassy march. The Gorgonites have a more whimsical, slightly tribal, and woodwind-heavy sound. It’s a brilliant way to differentiate the two factions through audio alone.
Check out the fan-made restorations. There is a small but dedicated community of hobbyists who use 3D printing to create "movie-accurate" Gorgonite figures that the original Kenner toys couldn't quite match. Looking at these custom builds shows just how much people still love these designs.
The Small Soldiers movie gorgonites remain a high-water mark for practical effects in a decade that was rapidly moving toward CGI. They remind us that the best "monsters" aren't the ones that look the scariest, but the ones that have a little bit of heart under the plastic. Whether you're a collector or just someone who misses when movies felt "tangible," the Gorgonites are a reminder that being an underdog is a lot more interesting than being a soldier.