Potty training is a nightmare. Honestly, if you've ever spent three hours scrubbing neon-yellow stains out of a beige rug while a toddler laughs in the corner, you know the struggle is real. It’s messy. It’s loud. It’s a total test of patience.
That’s where The Princess and the Potty comes in. Written by Anne Civardi and illustrated by Pascal Lemaitre, this book has been a staple on nursery bookshelves since it first dropped in the late 90s. But why? With a million digital apps and "potty watches" on the market in 2026, you’d think a simple picture book about a stubborn royal would be obsolete. It’s not. In fact, it's arguably more relevant now because it taps into a psychological truth about toddlers that most modern "hacks" ignore: the power of the "No."
What The Princess and the Potty actually teaches us
Most potty training books are boring. They’re clinical. They show a generic child sitting on a generic white bowl. The Princess and the Potty takes a different route. It tells the story of a little princess who—despite having the fanciest diapers in the kingdom—refuses to use her potty. Her parents, the King and Queen, try everything. They buy her a gold potty. They buy her a musical potty. They even get a potty with ruffles.
She hates them all.
"Nappy is happy," she declares. It’s a line every parent has heard in some variation. This book works because it validates the child's resistance. It doesn't make the princess look "bad" for not wanting to go; it makes her look like a person with agency. Pediatricians often note that toilet training is the first time a child realizes they have total control over their own body. You can't force a kid to go. You can only entice them.
The psychology of royal resistance
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the average age for kids to start showing interest in potty training is between 18 and 24 months, but many aren't fully trained until they’re closer to three or four. The Princess in the book is clearly in that "threenager" phase. She isn't uneducated; she’s just uninterested.
👉 See also: Why People That Died on Their Birthday Are More Common Than You Think
The story uses humor to de-escalate the tension. When the King and Queen get frustrated, kids see a reflection of their own parents. It creates a bridge. Instead of the parent saying "You must do this," the book says "Look at this silly situation." Humor is a massive tool for behavioral change. When a child laughs at the Princess's stubbornness, they’re actually distancing themselves from their own stubbornness. They start to think, "Maybe I don't want to be the kid who refuses the cool throne."
Why the "Throne" metaphor works for toddlers
Let's talk about the visuals. Pascal Lemaitre’s illustrations are quirky. They aren't the soft, pastel watercolors you see in most "sweet" baby books. They have an edge. The potties are ridiculous. This matters because toddlers have vivid imaginations. To a two-year-old, a plastic bucket is just a bucket. But in The Princess and the Potty, the potty is a status symbol. It’s a piece of furniture fit for a queen.
By framing the toilet as a "throne," the book leverages a toddler's desire for independence and "big kid" status. Developmentally, children at this age are obsessed with "doing it myself." The book leans into that. It shows that using the potty isn't just about hygiene—it’s about growing up and joining the ranks of the adults (or the royals).
Breaking down the "Nappy is Happy" mindset
The hardest part of training isn't the physical act. It’s the comfort of the diaper. Diapers are easy. They’re warm. They’re familiar. In the story, the Princess refuses to give up her royal diapers because they’re all she knows.
Parents often struggle with this transition because they try to make it a logical argument. "You'll be cleaner!" "You'll be a big girl!" Toddlers don't care about logic. They care about comfort and fun. The book eventually shows the Princess discovering that fancy underwear is actually much more "royal" than a heavy, soggy diaper. It’s a shift in perspective that hits home for kids who are obsessed with dress-up and aesthetics.
✨ Don't miss: Marie Kondo The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up: What Most People Get Wrong
Real-world strategies inspired by the book
If you’re reading The Princess and the Potty to a child who is currently digging their heels in, you can’t just read the words and close the book. You have to live it. Use the book as a springboard for actual tactics.
- The "Fancy Pants" Reveal: Just like the Princess eventually finds her "perfect" pair of royal undies, let your child pick out their own. Don't buy them yourself. Take them to the store. Let them touch the fabric. If they want the ones with the superheroes or the glittery unicorns, get them.
- The Royal Procession: Make the walk to the bathroom a big deal. In the book, the King and Queen make a fuss over the different potties. You can do the same. Make it a parade. Use a toy trumpet. Whatever breaks the "chore" vibe.
- Acknowledge the Failure: The book shows that the first few potties didn't work. This is vital. Most parents feel like failures if the first weekend of training doesn't result in a dry kid. The book reminds both the parent and the child that trial and error is part of the process.
Common misconceptions about potty training books
People think that reading a book will "fix" the problem overnight. It won't. Some parents complain that The Princess and the Potty is too focused on the "no" and gives kids ideas on how to be stubborn.
Actually, the opposite is true.
By naming the resistance, you take the power away from it. If a child hears the Princess say "no," and then sees that the Princess eventually changes her mind and becomes even more "royal" because of it, the child has a roadmap for their own change of heart. It allows them to save face. They aren't "giving in" to Mom or Dad; they're choosing to be like the Princess.
The "Late Bloomer" Reality
Data from the Mayo Clinic suggests that forcing a child before they are ready can actually lead to long-term issues like chronic constipation or "holding." The Princess is a great example of a child who just wasn't ready until she was. The book doesn't end with her being punished. It ends with her deciding she’s ready. That’s a huge distinction.
🔗 Read more: Why Transparent Plus Size Models Are Changing How We Actually Shop
In the 1950s, the average age for potty training was much younger, mostly because diapers were cloth and a huge pain to wash, so parents were more motivated to push. Today, with high-tech disposables, kids stay comfortable longer. We have to work harder to provide the motivation. A book that makes the potty look like a privilege rather than a requirement is a powerful tool in that effort.
What to do if the book isn't working
Sometimes, even the best book doesn't do the trick. If you've read The Princess and the Potty fifty times and your child is still treating their diaper like a safety blanket, it might be time to pivot.
- Check for physical readiness. Can they pull their pants down? Do they know the sensation of needing to go? If not, the best book in the world won't help.
- Change the "Throne." In the book, the Princess goes through several potties. Maybe your child hates the loud flush of the big toilet. Maybe the floor potty feels too "babyish." Experiment.
- Stop the pressure. The King and Queen in the book are clearly stressed. Kids smell stress like dogs smell fear. If you're stressed, they'll clench up. Literally.
Moving forward with your royal trainee
Potty training is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s a series of small wins and very wet floors. The Princess and the Potty remains a classic because it understands the heart of a toddler—that weird mix of wanting to be a baby and wanting to rule the world.
To make this work, stop treating the potty like a battleground. Start treating it like a promotion. When your child sees that the Princess found her "perfect fit," it gives them permission to look for theirs too.
Actionable Next Steps:
- Buy the physical book. Digital versions are fine, but toddlers need to point at the pictures and flip the pages. It makes the experience tactile.
- Create a "Potty Gallery." Let your child decorate the bathroom or their potty with stickers, just like the Princess had her fancy versions.
- Use the "Nappy is Happy" phrase as a prompt. When your child says it, acknowledge it. "I know the nappy is happy, but the potty is for the Queen." It validates their feelings while keeping the goal in sight.
- Limit the "Potty Talk." Don't make it the only thing you talk about all day. Read the book, try a session, then move on to playing. Constant pressure leads to constant resistance.