Let’s be real for a second. Heartbreak is expensive. It’s emotionally draining, sure, but have you looked at the price of a solo apartment or the cost of a "revenge body" gym membership lately? Honestly, the older you get, the more you realize that chasing a ghost from your past is a massive waste of energy. That’s exactly why the phrase the only ex i want is extra money has basically become the official mantra for anyone trying to actually get ahead this year.
Cash over closure.
It sounds cold, maybe. But there’s a profound shift happening in how people view their time and mental bandwidth. In a 2024 survey by Bankrate, roughly 50% of Gen Z and Millennials reported having a side hustle just to keep their heads above water. When you’re working two jobs, you don't have time to check who viewed your Instagram story. You're too busy checking your Shopify dashboard or your high-yield savings account.
The psychology of swapping heartbreak for high-yield returns
There is something strangely healing about a growing bank balance. When you say the only ex i want is extra money, you aren't just making a joke for a t-shirt or a TikTok caption. You’re making a psychological pivot. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula has often discussed how "rumination"—that endless loop of thinking about a past relationship—is a form of cognitive clutter.
It blocks your ability to focus on growth.
Financial planners often see the flip side of this. When people stop pouring their emotional energy into toxic dynamics, they suddenly "find" 10 to 15 hours a week. If you take those 15 hours and apply them to learning a high-value skill—say, prompt engineering or technical writing—the ROI is astronomical compared to the ROI of an apology you’re never going to get.
The math just makes sense.
Think about the "breakup tax." It’s a real thing. It’s the cost of moving out, the cost of therapy, the cost of going out to drinks to "forget." By the time you’ve processed the trauma, you’ve spent thousands. Flipping the script means you stop being the consumer of your own grief and start being the producer of your own wealth.
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Why financial stability is the ultimate "moving on"
I once talked to a woman who spent three years trying to get her ex to understand why he was wrong. Three years. In that same time frame, if she had invested $500 a month into an S&P 500 index fund with an average 10% return, she would have had nearly $21,000.
Instead, she had a pile of old texts and a headache.
The sentiment behind the only ex i want is extra money isn't about greed. It’s about autonomy. Money doesn't buy happiness—we know the cliché—but it absolutely buys the ability to walk away from situations that make you unhappy. That is a nuance most people miss. When you have "F-you money," or even just "minor inconvenience money," your stress levels plummet.
Real ways to actually get that extra money in 2026
If we're moving past the memes and getting into the actual "how," we have to talk about the current economy. It’s not 2020 anymore. You can't just flip a house or buy a random NFT and hope for the best.
You need strategy.
First, look at the service economy. People are time-poor. If you can provide a service that saves a business owner five hours a week, you’ve got a revenue stream. This could be anything from managing their AI-driven customer service tools to organizing their physical workspace.
Second, consider the "micro-influencer" path, but for boring things. You don't need to be a fashion icon. There are people making six figures on YouTube explaining how to use Excel or how to fix a leaky faucet. This is the "extra money" that stays consistent because it solves a problem.
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- Skill stacking: Combine two things you’re okay at to become one person who is great at the intersection. Like coding plus gardening. Or accounting plus Spanish.
- The 50/30/20 rule (with a twist): Put 50% on needs, 30% on wants, and 20% on your "Ex-Money" fund. This is the fund that only goes toward wealth-generating assets.
- Automated savings: If you don't see it, you don't spend it. Set up a direct deposit to a brokerage account.
The cultural shift toward "Solo Wealth"
We are seeing a massive rise in "solo-preneurship." According to MBO Partners’ 2023 State of Independence report, the number of independent workers in the U.S. reached 72.1 million. People are realizing that traditional job security is a bit of a myth.
The hustle is the new security.
When your focus is the only ex i want is extra money, you’re aligning yourself with this new reality. It’s a form of self-care that involves a spreadsheet instead of a bath bomb. And honestly? It’s more effective. A bath bomb doesn't pay your electric bill or fund a trip to Japan.
There’s also the social aspect. Your friends are probably tired of hearing about "him" or "her." But they are definitely interested in hearing about how you started a side project that’s now paying for your mortgage. Success is contagious. Drama is just exhausting.
It’s not about being jaded; it’s about being smart
Some critics might say this mindset is cynical. They’ll say you’re "replacing love with money." But that’s a false binary. You can have a healthy relationship and a healthy bank account. The point is that when the relationship fails, the bank account shouldn't be the second victim.
Most people use "the only ex i want is extra money" as a shield. It’s a way to guard their heart by focusing on their head. And in a world where inflation is persistent and the housing market is a nightmare, having your financial house in order is the most romantic thing you can do for yourself.
Actionable steps to stop ruminating and start earning
Stop scrolling. Seriously. The "doomscroll" is where "extra money" goes to die. Every hour you spend watching someone else’s curated life is an hour you aren't building your own.
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- Audit your subscriptions. We all have them. The $12 app you used once. The streaming service you forgot about. Cancel them all today. That’s your first "extra money."
- Identify your "Low-Hanging Fruit." Do you have clothes you don't wear? Tech you don't use? Sell it on Poshmark or Mercari. It’s a quick win.
- Learn one new tool. Spend this weekend learning a specific software. Maybe it's Canva for social media design or a CRM like Salesforce.
- Open a High-Yield Savings Account (HYSA). If your money is sitting in a big-name bank earning 0.01% interest, you’re losing money to inflation. Move it to a bank offering 4% or 5%.
The long game of financial independence
The ultimate goal isn't just to have a few extra bucks for a weekend out. It’s to reach a point where your money works harder than you do. Compound interest is a miracle, but it requires time.
If you start now, five years from now you won't even remember the person who broke your heart. You’ll be too busy looking at your portfolio.
The sentiment of the only ex i want is extra money is really just a call to reclaim your power. It’s a refusal to be a victim of your past. It’s choosing to build a future that is stable, secure, and entirely on your own terms.
So, take that energy you were going to use to write a long, emotional email. Delete the draft. Instead, write a pitch for a new client. Update your LinkedIn. Research a new investment. The satisfaction of a well-executed financial plan lasts much longer than the temporary relief of a "venting" session.
Focus on the numbers. The numbers don't lie, and they certainly don't leave you for someone else.
To make this a reality, start by tracking every single dollar that enters and exits your life for the next 30 days. Use a simple notebook or a basic spreadsheet. This clarity is the foundation of turning the "extra money" dream into a tangible bank balance. Once you see where your leaks are, you can plug them and redirect that flow into assets that grow. High-yield savings accounts are the easiest entry point, followed by low-cost index funds once you have an emergency cushion. Consistency beats intensity every single time.