Everyone knows it. It’s the first thing you learn in history class once you move past finger painting and start talking about people getting their heads chopped off. Divorced, beheaded, died; divorced, beheaded, survived. That’s the Henry 8th wife rhyme. It’s catchy. It’s morbid. It’s basically the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" for people who like Tudor drama. But if you’re looking at it as a serious historical summary, it’s actually a bit of a disaster.
History is messy. Henry VIII was messier.
When we repeat those six words, we’re trying to condense thirty-eight years of political upheaval, religious reformation, and personal tragedy into a playground chant. It works for a pub quiz. It doesn't work if you actually want to understand the women who had to share a bed with the most terrifying man in England. Most people think they know the story because they know the rhyme, but the reality of Henry’s marriages was way more complicated than a simple checklist of executions and annulments.
The Problem with "Divorced"
Let’s get technical for a second. If you walked up to Henry VIII in 1533 and asked him about his "divorce" from Catherine of Aragon, he’d probably have you thrown in the Tower. Why? Because Henry didn't believe in divorce. Neither did the Catholic Church.
In his mind, he wasn't ending a marriage; he was proving that the marriage had never existed in the first place. This is what we call an annulment. The distinction matters because it’s the whole reason the Church of England exists today. Catherine had been married to Henry’s older brother, Arthur, who died young. Henry spent years arguing that because Catherine had "known" his brother, his own marriage to her was a sin in the eyes of God, specifically citing Leviticus.
The rhyme says "divorced" for Catherine of Aragon and Anne of Cleves. In reality, Catherine fought to her deathbed claiming she was the rightful Queen and Henry’s only true wife. Anne of Cleves, on the other hand, was much more pragmatic. When Henry decided he wasn’t attracted to her—famously calling her a "Flanders Mare," though that might be a later exaggeration—she agreed to the annulment. She got a massive settlement, several houses, and the title of "The King's Beloved Sister." She’s the one who truly won the game of thrones, yet the Henry 8th wife rhyme lumps her in with the tragic ending of Catherine.
Anne Boleyn: More Than a "Beheaded" Statistic
Anne Boleyn is usually the one people remember best. She’s the "beheaded" one. But calling her just "beheaded" misses the sheer impact she had on Western civilization. Anne wasn't just a victim; she was a catalyst. She refused to be a mistress, which forced Henry to break with Rome to marry her.
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The execution of Anne Boleyn in 1536 was a massive shock to the system. It was the first time an English Queen had been executed. The charges—adultery, incest, and even witchcraft—were almost certainly trumped up. Henry needed a son, and Anne had "failed" by giving him Elizabeth (who, ironically, became one of England's greatest monarchs).
The rhyme makes it sound like a simple sequence. Like he just got bored and called the executioner. But the trauma of Anne’s death rippled through the court for decades. When you look at the "beheaded" part of the Henry 8th wife rhyme, remember that we’re talking about a woman who was highly educated, politically savvy, and who changed the religion of an entire nation. She wasn't just a casualty of a rhyme; she was a revolutionary who lost her gamble.
The Tragedy of the "Died" Category
Jane Seymour. She’s the one who "died."
Henry called her his "true wife." Why? Because she finally gave him the male heir he was obsessed with: the future Edward VI. But she died just twelve days after giving birth due to puerperal fever (childbed fever).
It’s easy to gloss over this one. "Died" sounds natural, like she just passed away quietly. In reality, it was a brutal, agonizing death that devastated the King. Henry stayed single for over two years after Jane died, which, for him, was an eternity. He’s buried next to her at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle. The rhyme treats her death as a structural necessity to get to the next verse, but for the Tudor court, it was a national catastrophe.
Katherine Howard and the Second "Beheaded"
Then we get to Katherine Howard. If Anne Boleyn was the sophisticated intellectual, Katherine was the tragic teenager. She was probably around 17 or 18 when she married a 49-year-old Henry, who was by then obese, suffering from a chronic leg ulcer, and increasingly paranoid.
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The Henry 8th wife rhyme treats her and Anne Boleyn as two sides of the same coin. But Katherine’s situation was different. She actually did have a colorful past, and she likely did have an affair with Thomas Culpeper while she was Queen. She was a kid who made a massive mistake in a very dangerous court.
When she was taken to the block in 1542, she was so terrified she reportedly had to practice how to lay her head on the block the night before. There’s a persistent myth that her last words were, "I die a Queen, but I would rather have died the wife of Culpeper." It's a great line. It's also almost certainly fake. She likely gave a standard "pious" speech, as was the custom, asking for mercy for her soul.
The Survival of Catherine Parr
"Survived."
Catherine Parr, the sixth wife, is often portrayed as the boring one who looked after Henry in his old age. But she was a powerhouse. She was the first woman in England to publish a book under her own name in English (Prayers or Meditations). She was a secret Protestant at a time when that could get you burned at the stake.
She almost didn't "survive."
Her enemies in the court tried to link her to heretics like Anne Askew. They actually got Henry to sign a warrant for her arrest. Catherine found out about it, had a massive "panic attack" that Henry could hear from the next room, and when he came to check on her, she convinced him that she only argued with him about religion to "distract him from his pain." He bought it. When the guards showed up the next day to take her to the Tower, Henry chased them off, calling them knaves and fools.
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She survived Henry, but she didn't survive for long. She died in childbirth (with her new husband, Thomas Seymour) just a year after Henry passed away.
Why the Rhyme Stays Stuck in Our Heads
So why do we use the Henry 8th wife rhyme if it’s so shallow?
Because human brains love patterns. We like things in groups of three or six. We like rhythm. The rhyme turns a confusing mess of 16th-century theology and internal politics into a catchy ditty.
But here’s the thing: focusing on the rhyme makes us view these six women only in relation to how they ended. It defines them by their "exit strategy."
- Catherine of Aragon was a Spanish Infanta and a fierce diplomat.
- Anne Boleyn was a religious reformer.
- Jane Seymour was a peacemaker who tried to reunite Henry with his daughters.
- Anne of Cleves was a shrewd survivor who became one of the richest women in England.
- Katherine Howard was a victim of a family who used her as political bait.
- Catherine Parr was an author and a regent who literally ran the country while Henry was away at war.
Beyond the Mnemonic: What to Do Next
If you really want to understand this period, you have to look past the rhyme. It’s a starting point, not the finish line.
First, stop thinking of them as a "set." They weren't a collection; they were individuals who often never even met. Second, look at the dates. The gaps between the wives tell you more about Henry’s mental state than the marriages themselves. The jump from Jane Seymour to Anne of Cleves was a period of mourning and political searching. The jump from Catherine Parr back to... well, there was no next one, because Henry finally died.
Take action on your history habit:
- Read the primary sources: Check out the letters Henry wrote to Anne Boleyn. They aren't the words of a man who just wanted to "behead" someone; they are the words of a man deeply, desperately in love. It makes the eventual betrayal much more chilling.
- Visit the sites: If you’re ever in London, go to the Tower of London. Stand on the spot where the scaffold was. It’s a small, quiet space that makes the "beheaded" part of the rhyme feel much more real and much less like a song.
- Watch the nuance: If you’re watching shows like The Tudors or Wolf Hall, look for how they handle the annulments. See if they use the word "divorce." Now you know why that’s a bit of a historical slip-up.
- Check the legacy: Look at the children. Mary, Elizabeth, and Edward. Each one was shaped by the fate of their mothers. The Henry 8th wife rhyme didn't just affect six women; it dictated the lives of the next three monarchs of England.
The rhyme is a tool for memory. Use it to remember the order, but don't let it be the only thing you know about six women who were far more interesting than a one-word summary of their deaths.