It is too long. That is the one thing almost every Radiohead fan, and even Thom Yorke himself, seems to agree on when talking about the 2003 sprawling epic that is Hail to the Thief. When you look at the hail to the thief tracklist, you aren't just looking at a list of songs; you're looking at a 56-minute argument between five guys in a room trying to figure out what kind of band they wanted to be after the digital isolation of Kid A and Amnesiac. It’s a record born from the anxiety of the Iraq War and the 2000 U.S. election, yet the tracklist feels like a frantic data dump of every idea they had at the time.
Honestly, the pacing is a nightmare. You start with "2 + 2 = 5," which is arguably one of the best openers in rock history. It builds this incredible tension, Thom's voice cracking as the guitars explode into that jagged, paranoid riff. But then, the record just... keeps going. By the time you hit track ten, you're wondering if you've been transported to a different dimension where time has no meaning. It’s a fascinating, brilliant, bloated disaster.
The 14-Song Problem: Breaking Down the Hail to the Thief Tracklist
Most Radiohead albums are tight. In Rainbows is a lean ten tracks. OK Computer is twelve. But the hail to the thief tracklist boasts fourteen songs. It was recorded in just two weeks at Ocean Way Recording in Hollywood, a sharp pivot from the years of agonizing over Kid A. This "live in the room" energy is palpable, but it also meant they didn't have the perspective to cut the fat.
The album kicks off with a three-hit combo that is virtually untouchable: "2 + 2 = 5," "Sit Down. Stand Up," and "Sail to the Moon." That third track, "Sail to the Moon," is a gorgeous, time-signature-shifting lullaby written for Thom’s son, Noah. It’s peak Radiohead. But then we get into the weeds. "Backdrifts" introduces a glitchy, electronic pulse that feels like a leftover from the Amnesiac sessions. It’s not a bad song, but placed where it is, the momentum of the rock-heavy opening starts to sag.
Then there is "Go to Sleep." It’s got that weird, stuttering guitar solo at the end where Jonny Greenwood uses a Max/MSP patch to make his guitar sound like it’s being fed through a paper shredder. It’s cool. It’s experimental. But does it belong right before "Where I End and You Begin"? Maybe. Maybe not. The problem with the hail to the thief tracklist isn't the quality of the individual songs—most of these are live staples even twenty years later—it’s the sequencing. It feels like a playlist rather than a curated journey.
Thom Yorke’s Regret and the Alternate Sequence
Years after the release, Thom Yorke actually posted an alternate hail to the thief tracklist on the band's old Dead Air Space blog. He admitted that the record was a bit of a "muddle." His revised version cut the tracklist down to a punchy ten songs, completely removing tracks like "Backdrifts," "The Gloaming," "I Will," and "We Suck Young Blood."
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If you listen to the album in Thom’s "fixed" order, it’s a totally different experience. It becomes a sharp, aggressive art-rock record that doesn't overstay its welcome.
- There There
- The Gloaming
- Sail to the Moon
- Sit Down. Stand Up
- Go to Sleep
- Where I End and You Begin
- 2 + 2 = 5
- Myxomatosis
- Scatterbrain
- Wolf at the Door
Wait—even in his "fixed" version, he kept "The Gloaming." That’s because "The Gloaming" is Thom’s favorite child, even if fans often see it as the "bathroom break" song during live sets. It’s the sonic heart of the album’s political paranoia.
Deep Cuts and the "Fairly Tales" Subtitles
One thing many people miss when scrolling through the hail to the thief tracklist on Spotify is that every single song has an alternative title. These are often referred to as the "Fairly Tales" subtitles. They add a layer of Brother’s Grimm-style creepiness to the whole affair.
"2 + 2 = 5" is also "The Lukewarm."
"Sit Down. Stand Up" is "Snakes and Ladders."
"There There" is "The Boney King of Nowhere."
These subtitles weren't just for show. They reflected the band’s obsession at the time with 1970s British children's television and old-school propaganda. The titles suggest a world where things aren't quite right—where the floor is moving and the shadows are speaking. When you see "A Wolf at the Door (It Girl. Rag Doll)" closing out the album, it perfectly encapsulates the dread of the era. That song, by the way, features Thom basically rapping—or at least doing a frantic, spoken-word delivery—over a dark, waltzing guitar line. It’s terrifying and brilliant.
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Why "There There" is the Anchor
In the middle of this sprawling hail to the thief tracklist sits "There There." If this song wasn't on the album, the whole thing might have collapsed under its own weight. It was the lead single, and for good reason. It’s got those massive, thumping floor toms that Jonny and Ed O'Brien play during live shows, creating a tribal, hypnotic rhythm.
The song's subtitle, "The Boney King of Nowhere," refers to a character from the British show Bagpuss. It's about being lured into a trap, which was a major theme for the band in 2003. They felt trapped by the music industry, trapped by the political climate, and trapped by their own reputation. "There There" is the moment where the album feels most cohesive. It bridges the gap between the guitar-heavy "The Bends" era and the experimental "Kid A" era perfectly.
The Misunderstood Middle Child
Often, Hail to the Thief is treated as the "lesser" album between the 1-2 punch of Kid A/Amnesiac and the masterpiece that is In Rainbows. But that’s a bit unfair. The hail to the thief tracklist contains some of the most visceral and angry music Radiohead ever recorded. "Myxomatosis" is a distorted, fuzzy assault on the senses. It’s named after a disease that affects rabbits, but it’s really about the feeling of being silenced and controlled.
Then you have "We Suck Young Blood." This is arguably the most divisive song the band has ever released. It’s a slow, plodding, hand-clapped funeral march. Some people hate it. They think it kills the album's pace entirely. Others see it as a hilarious (and dark) satire of the Hollywood vampire culture the band was surrounded by while recording in L.A.
Technical Mastery in a Rush
Even though the album was "rushed," the technical aspects of the hail to the thief tracklist are staggering. Nigel Godrich, the band’s longtime producer, pushed them to capture raw takes. On "Where I End and You Begin," the bass line played by Colin Greenwood is one of his best—melodic, driving, and incredibly tight. It’s a song about "the gap in between," and the production reflects that, with a lot of space and reverb that feels cold and vast.
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The album also marked a major shift in how the band used the studio as an instrument. They weren't just layering sounds anymore; they were playing against the electronics. On "The Gloaming," the beat is a loop that Thom created on his laptop, but the band plays over it with a sense of urgency that makes it feel alive rather than mechanical.
Practical Advice for Your Next Listen
If you're going to dive back into the hail to the thief tracklist, don't just hit shuffle. To really "get" this album, you have to embrace the mess. It is an artifact of a very specific time in history—the early 2000s, where the world felt like it was breaking apart.
- Try the "Thom Yorke Edit": Create a playlist using the 10-song sequence Thom suggested years later. It changes the narrative of the album from a sprawling epic to a focused protest record.
- Listen with Headphones: There are tiny, whispered details throughout the record—especially on "I Will"—that you'll miss on a car stereo. The vocal layering on "I Will" is some of the most complex Thom has ever done, and it’s actually a reversed version of a part of the song "Like Spinning Plates."
- Watch the "There There" Video: If you want to understand the aesthetic of the tracklist, the stop-motion animation in the "There There" music video is the perfect visual companion. It’s creepy, woodsy, and surreal.
The hail to the thief tracklist is a lot to take in. It’s loud, it’s quiet, it’s electronic, it’s acoustic, it’s angry, and it’s exhausted. It’s a record that refuses to be ignored, even if it doesn't always know when to stop talking. That’s exactly why it has aged so well; in a world of 30-second TikTok clips and perfectly polished pop, a 56-minute sprawling mess feels like a breath of fresh air.
Next time you put it on, pay attention to the transition between "Punchup at a Wedding" and "Myxomatosis." It’s one of the few places where the sequencing feels intentional, moving from a bitter, funky groove into a total mental breakdown. It’s pure Radiohead.