Why the gay men kissing meme actually matters for internet culture

Why the gay men kissing meme actually matters for internet culture

You’ve seen them. Honestly, if you spend more than twenty minutes a week on X (formerly Twitter), Discord, or TikTok, you’ve definitely seen them. It starts as a video that looks like a high-octane gaming clip, a cooking tutorial, or maybe a "sigma" motivational edit. Then, right at the drop—boom. It cuts to two guys locking lips. Sometimes it's a quick flash; sometimes it lingers. People call it the gay men kissing meme, and while it might look like simple chaotic shitposting, there is actually a pretty weird, layered history behind why your feed is suddenly full of it.

Memes move fast.

One day, everyone is obsessed with a specific sound bite, and the next, that sound is "cringe." But this specific trend—using footage of men kissing as a "bait-and-switch" or a punchline—has stuck around longer than most. It’s a subversion of expectations. It thrives on the shock factor, sure, but it also says a lot about how Gen Z and Gen Alpha interact with masculinity, "alpha" culture, and the sheer absurdity of the modern internet.

The bait-and-switch: How it started

The DNA of this meme goes back to the early days of the web. Remember Rickrolling? It’s the same basic psychological trick. You think you’re getting one thing, but you get another. In the early 2010s, we had "troll" videos that would jump-scare you with a screaming face. This is the 2020s version of that, just way more pink and way less scary.

The gay men kissing meme really found its footing in "bait-and-switch" edits. A popular version involves a "Sigma" edit—those moody, dark-filtered videos featuring characters like Patrick Bateman or Thomas Shelby—that suddenly transitions into a video of two men kissing, often set to a sped-up pop song or a Brazilian Phonk beat.

It’s a direct middle finger to the hyper-masculine "grindset" aesthetic.

By taking a video meant to project "toughness" and cutting it to a moment of male intimacy, creators are basically mocking the seriousness of those "alpha" subcultures. It’s ironic. It’s loud. It’s meant to be jarring. According to Know Your Meme, these variations started popping up heavily around 2022 and 2023, specifically on platforms like Discord where "thug-shaker" or "ironic" humor thrives in small, insular communities before exploding into the mainstream.

Thug-Shaking and the darker corners of the trend

We have to talk about the "Thug-Shaker" thing. It’s a specific, often controversial subset of this meme culture that originated in corners of the internet like 4chan and certain Discord servers. Basically, it involved videos of Black men, often in adult contexts, being used as "surprise" endings to unrelated clips.

While some see it as just another "shock" meme, others point out the racialized and fetishistic undertones. It’s a messy part of the story. You can't really discuss the gay men kissing meme without acknowledging that a huge part of its virality came from these "ironic" circles that walk a very thin line between satire and something more mean-spirited.

✨ Don't miss: Who was the voice of Yoda? The real story behind the Jedi Master

Saturation.

The internet is so full of "perfect" content—polished influencers, scripted "pranks," and algorithmic "slop"—that people crave anything that feels genuinely disruptive. A video of two guys kissing in the middle of a Call of Duty montage is disruptive. It breaks the flow. It forces you to react.

There's also the "cringe" factor.

In many gaming circles, which have historically been... let's say "less than welcoming" to LGBTQ+ content, these memes are used as a way to "troll" people who take themselves too seriously. If a gamer gets genuinely angry that a meme featured a gay kiss, the "trolls" win. It becomes a game of "who can be the most unbothered?"

The "Say Gex" phenomenon

If you’ve been in a comment section lately, you’ve probably seen the phrase "Say Gex." It’s a spoonerism (flipping the first letters) for "Gay Sex." This linguistic spin-off is part of the same ecosystem as the gay men kissing meme. It’s a way to bypass automated content filters while still participating in the joke.

It’s almost like a secret handshake.

When someone posts a picture of two male characters standing slightly too close to each other, the comments will inevitably be flooded with "Say Gex." It’s a low-effort way for users to signal they are "in" on the irony. It’s not necessarily about supporting gay rights, but it’s also not necessarily homophobic; it’s just... the internet being a weird, nonsensical place.

Impact on LGBTQ+ visibility

This is where it gets complicated. Is this good for the community? Or is it just making a joke out of queer identity?

🔗 Read more: Not the Nine O'Clock News: Why the Satirical Giant Still Matters

If you ask ten different people, you’ll get ten different answers. Some queer creators love it. They think it’s hilarious to see "macho" spaces invaded by queer imagery. It "desanctifies" the homophobia often found in those spaces. If gay kissing is the punchline, it eventually becomes normalized. You see it so much that it loses its "shock" power.

On the flip side, some find it reductive. When a gay kiss is used purely for a "gotcha" moment or a "gross-out" reaction, it can feel like the joke is still at the expense of gay men. It’s the "No Homo" culture evolved for the TikTok era.

"Memes are the street art of the digital age. They are messy, they are often offensive, and they reflect the subconscious of the youth." — This is a sentiment often echoed by digital anthropologists who study how subcultures merge.

The technical side: Editing the meme

The "craft" behind the gay men kissing meme is actually kind of impressive from a technical standpoint. These aren't just lazy cuts. They involve:

  • Keyframing: Smoothly transitioning from a 3D animation to a real-life video.
  • Beat-matching: Ensuring the "kiss" happens exactly on the bass drop of a song like "Luxury" by Azealia Banks or some obscure underground Phonk track.
  • Color Grading: Making sure the two disparate clips look like they belong in the same video until the very last second.

It’s a weirdly high-effort way to prank someone. People spend hours in After Effects or CapCut just to make a five-second clip that will make a stranger on the internet go "Wait, what?"

Misconceptions and what people get wrong

One of the biggest misconceptions is that this meme is exclusively "homophobic." That’s a bit of an oversimplification. While it certainly can be used that way, a lot of the people making and sharing these videos are actually Gen Z kids who view sexuality with much more fluidity and irony than previous generations.

To them, the joke isn't "Haha, look, they're gay." The joke is "Haha, I made you look at something you didn't expect to see." It’s the subversion of the viewer's expectation that provides the dopamine hit, not the specific content of the kiss itself.

Another thing: people think this is a brand new 2024 or 2025 thing. It’s not. It’s been brewing in the "Deep iFunny" and Discord "Shitpost" layers for years. It only feels new because it finally broke through the TikTok algorithm's "brand-safety" filters.

💡 You might also like: New Movies in Theatre: What Most People Get Wrong About This Month's Picks

What comes next for the meme?

The gay men kissing meme is already starting to mutate. We’re seeing "post-ironic" versions where the bait-and-switch doesn't happen, and people are disappointed. Or versions where the "alpha" character actually joins in.

The cycle of a meme usually goes:

  1. Underground niche
  2. Explosion of popularity
  3. Brand involvement (The "Death" stage)
  4. Post-ironic revival

We are currently between stages 2 and 3. Brands haven't quite figured out how to use two men kissing to sell laundry detergent without causing a massive PR headache, so the meme is staying relatively "pure" in its chaotic form for now.

How to navigate this space

If you're a creator or just someone trying to understand your "For You" page, here's the deal:

  • Don't take it literally. Most of the time, the person posting it isn't making a political statement. They’re just trying to get a "WTF" reaction.
  • Check the audio. A lot of these memes are tied to specific songs. If you hear a certain Phonk track starting, get ready for the switch.
  • Understand the source. Is it a "Sigma" parody or just a random shitpost? Context is everything in meme culture.

Basically, the internet is weird. It’s always been weird. Whether it’s a dancing hamster from 1998 or the gay men kissing meme of today, the goal remains the same: to catch you off guard and make you part of the "in-group" that gets the joke.

If you want to keep up with how these trends evolve, the best thing you can do is look at the comments. The "lore" of a meme is almost always built in the replies. Look for phrases like "the industrial revolution and its consequences," "Say Gex," or "We got [X] before GTA 6." These are the markers of a community that is constantly rewriting the rules of what is funny.

Stay curious, don't get offended too easily, and maybe keep your volume down when you're opening a video in a public place. You never know when a bait-and-switch is coming. This trend isn't going away anytime soon; it's just going to get weirder, faster, and more layered as the algorithm continues to reward the unexpected.

To truly master the current state of internet humor, start recognizing the patterns of the "bait." Once you can predict the cut, you've officially graduated from a casual scroller to a meme-literate participant. Keep an eye on the "Phonk" and "Brazil Funk" tags on TikTok, as those remain the primary breeding grounds for the latest iterations of these disruptive edits.