You’ve probably felt that weird, hollow pit in your stomach when a long-term project wraps up or a relationship finally hits the wall. It’s heavy. It feels like a stop sign. But if you look at how systems actually work—whether we’re talking about forest fires, business cycles, or your own career—the truth is that the ending is the beginning of the next phase. It isn't just a Hallmark card sentiment; it’s a biological and economic necessity.
Nothing stays static.
Think about the way a forest regenerates. For a long time, the U.S. Forest Service tried to stop every single fire. They thought they were "saving" the woods. What happened? They actually made things worse. By preventing the natural ending of old, dry underbrush, they created conditions for massive, uncontrollable mega-fires. We need the burn. The ash provides the phosphorus and nitrogen that the next generation of seeds requires to actually sprout. Without that "ending," the forest eventually chokes itself out.
The psychology of why we hate finishing things
Humans are biologically wired to crave closure, but we're also terrified of it. We have this thing called "loss aversion." Research by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky basically proved that the pain of losing something is twice as powerful as the joy of gaining something of equal value. This is why you stay in a job you hate for three years too long. You’re more afraid of the "end" of your current salary than you are excited about the "beginning" of a better career.
Honestly, we treat endings like they’re failures. They aren't.
If you look at the concept of "Creative Destruction," popularized by economist Joseph Schumpeter, you see this play out in the business world constantly. Old industries have to die so new ones can exist. If the horse and buggy industry hadn't "ended," the infrastructure for the automotive age might never have been prioritized. The ending is the beginning of a more efficient system. Every time.
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The trap of the "Sunk Cost"
You've likely heard of the sunk cost fallacy. It's that nagging voice telling you to finish a terrible movie just because you paid $15 for the ticket. In life, this happens on a much grander scale. We pour years into "dead-end" ventures because we don't want the time we already spent to feel wasted.
But here is the kicker: that time is gone anyway.
By refusing to let the ending happen, you are effectively stealing resources from your own future. You are delaying the beginning of the next chapter because you're too busy mourning the one that’s already over. It's a loop. It's exhausting.
Identifying the "Turning Point" in your own life
So, how do you know when the ending is the beginning of something worth chasing? It usually starts with a specific kind of friction.
- Diminishing Returns: You’re putting in 100% effort but only getting 10% of the results you used to get. This is common in long-term hobbies or even fitness routines where you've hit a hard plateau.
- The "Check-Out" Phase: You find yourself daydreaming about a different life while you’re physically present in your current one.
- External Shocks: Sometimes the ending isn't your choice. A layoff, a breakup, or a health scare. These are the "forest fires" of human life. They’re brutal, but they clear the ground.
Take the story of Steve Jobs being fired from Apple in 1985. At the time, it looked like a catastrophic ending. He was devastated. But later, he famously said it was the best thing that could have happened to him. It led to NeXT and Pixar, and eventually, his return to Apple where he launched the most successful run in corporate history. For Jobs, that public, humiliating ending was the beginning of the most creative period of his life.
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Why we get the "Beginning" part wrong
Most people think the new beginning starts the moment the old thing stops. It doesn't. There’s usually a messy, awkward middle ground. Social scientists call this "liminal space." It’s the hallway between the room you just left and the room you’re trying to find.
It feels like nothing is happening. You feel lost.
Actually, this is where the most important work occurs. In this gap, you aren't defined by your old title or your old relationship. You're a blank slate. If you rush through this part because you’re uncomfortable with the silence, you’ll likely just recreate your old problems in a new setting. You’ll find the same toxic boss at a different company or the same relationship dynamic with a different partner.
Practical ways to navigate the shift
You have to be intentional about the transition. If you’re facing a major ending right now, stop trying to fix it. Let it end.
- Audit the "Ash": Like the forest fire, look at what’s left. What skills did you gain? What did you learn about your boundaries? Use these as "fertilizer" for the next project.
- Stop the Comparison: You can't compare your "Beginning" to someone else's "Middle." This is where social media ruins us. We see someone’s peak and compare it to our messy transition phase.
- Small Iterations: Don’t try to launch a whole new life on Monday. Start with one small, different action. If you’re ending a career in finance to become a writer, don’t just quit and stare at a blank page. Write one paragraph. That’s the beginning.
The cycle of renewal in nature and tech
If you look at the tech world, software versions are a perfect example. Windows 10 had to "end" for Windows 11 to exist. Support for old hardware is dropped to make room for faster, more secure protocols. We accept this in our pockets and on our desks, yet we struggle to accept it in our hearts and schedules.
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In biology, this is called apoptosis—programmed cell death. It sounds grim. But if your cells didn't have a programmed ending, you’d develop tumors. Controlled endings are what keep the entire organism healthy. Your life is no different. You have to let certain "cells" of your identity die off so the whole of who you are can keep growing.
Actionable Steps for Transitioning
When you realize the ending is the beginning, you stop fighting the inevitable and start preparing for the launch. Here is how to actually do that:
- Acknowledge the Grief: Even if the ending is "good" (like graduating or getting a promotion), there is a loss of the familiar. Don't suppress that. If you don't acknowledge the end, you carry the ghost of it into the new beginning.
- Identify the Non-Negotiables: Before you start the new phase, write down three things you won't take with you. Maybe it's a specific habit, a way of talking to yourself, or a type of person you've realized isn't good for you.
- Look for "Early Signals": Pay attention to the weird, small opportunities that pop up right after a door closes. Usually, we're too busy staring at the closed door to notice the window that just cracked open.
The most successful people aren't the ones who never fail; they’re the ones who recognize that every "finish line" is actually just the starting block for the next race. It’s a loop, not a straight line.
Stop viewing the conclusion of a chapter as a tragedy. It’s just the prerequisite for the next one to start. If nothing ever ended, nothing could ever truly begin. That’s not just philosophy—it’s how the world stays alive.
Next Steps for Navigating Change:
- Identify one area of your life where you are currently "forcing" something to continue that has clearly reached its natural conclusion.
- Set a definitive "end date" or "exit criteria" for that situation to prevent the sunk cost fallacy from taking over.
- Spend 15 minutes visualizing the "empty space" that will be created once that situation ends, and list three potential new activities or goals that could fill that space.