We’ve all been there. You’re sitting in a meeting, staring at a slide deck that looks like a Jackson Pollock painting made of Excel cells, and your brain just shuts down. Someone is droning on about "synergistic pivot points" or "leveraging cross-functional agility," and honestly? You have no idea what they’re actually saying. It’s embarrassing. Nobody wants to look like the person who doesn’t get it, so we nod. We smile. We pretend. But eventually, the bravest person in the room leans forward and says those four magic words: talk me through it.
That phrase is a powerhouse. It isn’t just a request for a repeat performance; it’s a psychological reset button. When you ask someone to talk you through a concept, you aren’t just asking for the "what." You’re asking for the "how" and the "why." You’re demanding a narrative instead of a data dump. In a world where we’re drowning in asynchronous Slack messages and detached emails, the ability to narrate a process is becoming a lost art. If you can’t walk someone through your logic step-by-step, do you even really understand it yourself? Probably not.
The cognitive science of the walkthrough
There is a real, measurable difference between reading a manual and having an expert say, "Okay, first we look at this, then we ignore that, and here’s why." This is basically the "Feynman Technique" in action. Richard Feynman, the Nobel Prize-winning physicist, famously argued that if you couldn't explain something simply to a child, you didn't understand it. When you say talk me through it, you are forcing the speaker to engage in "elaborative interrogation." This is a fancy term researchers use for the process of explaining why a fact or concept is true.
Think about it.
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When a developer explains a line of code or a surgeon walks a resident through a procedure, they aren't just reciting facts. They are sharing their mental model. They are showing you how they prioritize information. Research published in the Journal of Educational Psychology suggests that this kind of self-explanation—or explaining to others—drastically improves long-term retention. It’s not just about the listener getting smarter. The person doing the "talking through" is actually strengthening their own neural pathways. It’s a win-win, even if it feels like a chore in the moment.
Why we're scared to ask
Most of us suffer from "The Curse of Knowledge." This is a cognitive bias where we assume everyone else has the same background info we do. We assume the acronyms we use daily are universal. So, we stay quiet. We don't want to seem slow. But here’s the thing: the smartest people I’ve ever worked with—CEOs of major tech firms, lead engineers, high-level strategists—are the ones who ask people to talk me through it the most often.
They don't care about looking dumb. They care about being right.
I remember watching a senior partner at a law firm stop a junior associate mid-sentence during a complex briefing on a merger. The associate was rattling off statutes like he was reading a grocery list. The partner just held up a hand and said, "Stop. Talk me through the logic of why we’re even looking at this specific clause. What’s the nightmare scenario if we ignore it?" That pivot changed the entire energy of the room. It moved the conversation from a performance to a problem-solving session.
Talk me through it: The anatomy of a perfect explanation
If you’re the one being asked to do the talking, don’t just start from the beginning. That’s a rookie mistake. A good walkthrough has a specific rhythm. It’s a bit like a movie. You need a setting, a conflict, and a resolution.
- Context First: Don't dive into the weeds. Start with the "North Star." What are we trying to achieve? If you're talking through a budget, don't start with line item 402. Start with the total goal for the quarter.
- The Logic Gates: Explain the decision points. "We had two choices here, A or B. We chose A because..." This is the most valuable part for the listener. They want to see your brain working.
- The "So What": Every step needs a consequence. If this part fails, what happens next?
Sometimes, people try to over-complicate things to sound more professional. Don't do that. Honestly, the more "boring" your language is, the better. Use "because," "so," and "therefore." Avoid the jargon. If you can’t explain it using words a middle-schooler understands, you’re just hiding behind complexity. It’s a defense mechanism, and people can smell it from a mile away.
How to use this in your personal life
This isn't just for the boardroom. It works at home, too. Relationships are basically just two people constantly failing to understand each other’s mental models. When your partner is upset about something that seems trivial to you, don't dismiss it. Instead of saying "I don't get it," try saying, "Talk me through it. Help me see how we got from Point A to Point B."
It’s an empathetic move.
It shows that you value their perspective enough to want to inhabit it for a minute. You aren't just listening for a gap to jump in and argue. You’re asking for a guided tour of their thoughts. In therapy, this is often called "active listening," but it’s more than that. It’s collaborative discovery. It turns a potential argument into a shared project.
The danger of the "Pseudo-Walkthrough"
We have to be careful, though. There is a fake version of this that happens all the time in corporate culture. It’s the "talk through" that is actually just a lecture. You know the type. The speaker says "Let me talk you through this," and then proceeds to read their slides verbatim for 45 minutes without making eye contact.
That’s not a walkthrough. That’s a hostage situation.
A real talk me through it moment is interactive. It requires the listener to interrupt. "Wait, go back to that last part—why did we skip the testing phase there?" or "I'm lost on the transition between the marketing plan and the sales targets." If no one is asking questions, no one is actually being walked through anything. They’re just being talked at.
Master the "Reverse Walkthrough"
One of the most powerful tools in a manager's kit is the reverse walkthrough. Instead of you explaining the task to your employee, you ask them, "Okay, to make sure I didn't miss anything, talk me through it from your end. How are you planning to tackle this?"
This is where the magic happens.
You will immediately see where the gaps are. You’ll realize that when you said "ASAP," they heard "by Friday," and when you said "keep it simple," they heard "don't do a good job." It’s the ultimate failsafe against miscommunication. It feels a little redundant at first, sure. But it saves hours—sometimes weeks—of wasted effort. It’s the difference between a project that lands and one that crashes into the side of a mountain because everyone assumed they were on the same page.
Where the phrase actually comes from
While it sounds like modern corporate-speak, the concept of "walking through" something has roots in technical inspections from the 1970s. In software engineering, a "structured walkthrough" was a formal process where a programmer would lead a team through their code to find errors. It was supposed to be ego-less. The goal wasn't to judge the person, but to vet the logic.
We’ve lost some of that rigor.
Today, we use the phrase more casually, but we should bring back that spirit of "ego-less" investigation. When someone asks you to talk them through your work, they aren't attacking you. They are trying to help you make the work better. Or, they’re just trying to keep up. Either way, it’s a compliment. It means your work is complex enough to require a guide.
Practical Steps to Better Communication
If you want to get better at this—either asking or answering—here is the reality. It takes practice. You have to get comfortable with the silence that happens when someone is processing.
- Stop apologizing for asking. Don't say "Sorry, this might be a dumb question, but can you talk me through it?" Just ask. "I want to make sure I’m following the logic—talk me through this section again?" It sounds confident, not confused.
- Use visual aids that aren't text-heavy. If you’re walking someone through a process, draw a circle and an arrow. It doesn't have to be pretty. Humans are visual creatures. A messy sketch on a whiteboard is 10x more effective than a 50-page PDF.
- Check for "Micro-Nods." When you're the one talking, look at the other person. Are they nodding because they get it, or are they doing that fast, repetitive "please stop talking" nod? If it's the latter, pause. Ask them where you lost them.
- The "Elevator" Test. Can you talk someone through your entire project in the time it takes to get to the 5th floor? If not, you haven't distilled the logic enough. Go back and find the "Why" again.
Ultimately, talk me through it is about connection. It’s a bridge between two different ways of seeing the world. It’s a tool for clarity in an increasingly noisy environment. The next time you feel that familiar fog of confusion settling in during a conversation, don't just sit there. Lean in. Ask for the walkthrough. You’ll be surprised at how much faster you actually get to the finish line when you take the time to walk the path together.
The biggest mistake is thinking that speed equals understanding. It doesn't. Slowing down to talk it through is usually the fastest way to get things done right the first time. Stop guessing. Start asking. The clarity is worth the extra five minutes every single time.
Actionable Next Steps
Identify a project or a concept you’ve been struggling to explain to your team or your partner. Instead of sending another long-winded email, schedule a 10-minute "logic walkthrough." Focus entirely on the why behind your choices rather than just the what. If you're on the receiving end of a confusing update today, use the phrase "talk me through the logic here" as soon as you feel lost. Do not wait until the end of the presentation to speak up; the moment you lose the thread is the moment the walkthrough should begin.