He is loud. He smells like a damp cave. He is, quite frankly, a total moron. But if you’ve spent any time playing Magic: The Gathering, Squee is probably the most annoying—and beloved—goblin to ever grace your hand.
Squee isn’t just a card. He’s a recurring nightmare for your opponents.
Basically, the guy cannot die. In a game where "death" usually means a trip to the graveyard and a one-way ticket out of the match, Squee just... hangs out. He pops back into your hand. He comes back from the exile zone. He persists. It’s flavor-text-meets-mechanics in a way that feels like a prank Wizards of the Coast has been pulling on us for nearly thirty years.
The Goblin Who Refused to Stay Dead
Let's look at the lore because it's genuinely hilarious. Squee was the cabin boy on the Weatherlight, the most famous flying ship in Magic history. While the rest of the crew—Gerrard, Sisay, Mirri—were out being heroes, Squee was usually hiding in a barrel or accidentally tripping over a world-saving artifact.
During the Invasion block, Squee got captured by the Phyrexians. Crovax, a total jerk who had become a Vampire Lord, decided to torture Squee. But instead of just killing him, Crovax used a device to grant Squee a twisted form of immortality. The plan? Kill Squee, let him regenerate, and kill him again. Forever.
It backfired. Squee’s brain is so simple that the trauma didn't really stick, and eventually, his endless "coming back to life" became such a nuisance that it actually helped defeat the bad guys.
This lore is the perfect foundation for his first real powerhouse card: Squee, Nabob.
Released in Mercadian Masques (1999), this card changed the game. It’s a 1/1 for three mana. On paper? Trash. But its ability—"At the beginning of your upkeep, you may return Squee, Nabob from your graveyard to your hand"—made it a staple.
You didn't play Squee to attack. You played him to discard him.
Need to pay for a Survival of the Fittest activation? Pitch Squee. Need to fuel a Forbid buyback? Squee. He was the ultimate infinite resource. He turned discard costs into "free" actions. Honestly, if you played during the late 90s or early 2000s, seeing a Squee in someone’s graveyard was the international signal for "I am about to do some very degenerate things with my deck."
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Why Every Version of Squee is a Headache
Wizards of the Coast knows we love this little idiot. That’s why they keep bringing him back with slightly different ways to break the rules of the game.
Take Squee, the Immortal from Dominaria.
This version took the "immortal" tag literally. You can cast him from your graveyard or from exile. That is absurd. Exile is supposed to be the "gone forever" zone. Squee doesn't care. He treats the exile zone like a waiting room with better magazines.
In Commander, this made him a combo piece. If you have a way to reduce his cost or generate infinite mana (looking at you, Food Chain), Squee becomes an infinite loop of enters-the-battlefield and dies-triggers.
Then came Squee, Dubious Monarch in Dominaria United.
This one is more aggressive. It’s a 2/2 with haste that creates a 1/1 goblin token whenever he attacks. And, of course, you can cast him from your graveyard by exiling four other cards. It gave Red Aggro decks a way to keep the pressure on even after a board wipe.
Most people get Squee wrong because they think he’s a "tribal" card.
Sure, he's a Goblin. He gets the buffs from Goblin King or Muxus. But Squee is actually a resource management card. He’s the physical embodiment of card advantage. In Magic, the player with the most cards usually wins. Squee is a card that never goes away, meaning you effectively have a permanent "+1" in your hand size as long as you have the mana to keep the loop going.
The Strategy: How to Actually Win with Squee
If you’re building a deck around Squee, stop thinking about him as a creature. Think of him as a reusable battery.
In the current 2026 meta—and honestly, throughout the history of Eternal formats like Legacy and Vintage—Squee excels in "Stax" or "Looter" archetypes.
The Discard Engine
If you're playing a card like Bazaar of Baghdad or even a simple Faithless Looting, Squee is your best friend. You get the benefit of the draw without the downside of the discard. You’re essentially drawing two cards for free every turn because Squee just crawls back into your hand for the next round.
The Sacrifice Loop
In Commander (EDH), Squee is a nightmare with sacrifice outlets.
- Phyrexian Altar: Sac Squee for mana.
- Skullclamp: Sac Squee to draw two cards.
- Goblin Bombardment: Sac Squee to ping a target.
The trick is having a way to reduce his casting cost. Cards like Cloudstone Curio or Helm of Awakening turn Squee from a nuisance into a win condition.
The Psychological Warfare
There is a real psychological element to playing Squee.
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Opponents hate using removal on him. Imagine holding a Swords to Plowshares. Do you really want to use it on a 1/1 goblin that the player can just cast again from exile? No. You want to save it for the Dragon or the Planeswalker.
But if you don't kill Squee, he just sits there. He pokes for 1 damage. He chump-blocks your 10/10 creature. He provides infinite fuel for the opponent's "discard a card" abilities. He creates a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario that tilts players faster than a bad mana screw.
Common Misconceptions About the Nabob
A lot of newer players look at the original Squee and think he's too slow.
"Three mana for a 1/1 that doesn't do anything until my next turn?"
That’s a fair critique if you’re playing high-speed Modern. But Magic: The Gathering isn't just about speed; it's about staying power. Squee is the king of the "grind." In a long game where both players are top-decking, the person who starts every turn with a Squee in hand has an astronomical advantage.
Another misconception: People think you need a dedicated Goblin deck for him to work.
Untrue. Squee has appeared in more "Blue-Red Control" or "Jund Midrange" decks than pure Goblin tribal decks over the decades. He’s a utility tool, not a soldier. He's the guy who fixes the plumbing while the rest of the Goblins are out raiding the village.
The Legacy of the Weatherlight’s Luckiest Member
Why do we still care about Squee in 2026?
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Because Magic has become incredibly fast and efficient. Most cards are designed to do one thing, do it well, and then leave. Squee is a relic of a different design philosophy—a card that thrives on being mediocre but persistent.
He represents the "soul" of the game. He’s funny, he’s weirdly powerful, and he’s frustrating to play against. He reminds us that sometimes, the most dangerous thing on the battlefield isn't the giant demon or the god; it's the little guy who just won't stay in the dirt.
If you want to master Squee, you have to stop worrying about his power and toughness. Start looking at your graveyard as a second hand. Start looking at exile as a resource.
Actionable Steps for Squee Players
If you're ready to embrace the chaos of the multiverse's most annoying immortal, here is exactly how to start:
- Identify your "Discard Outlet" first: Squee is useless if he just sits in your hand. You need a card that asks you to pay a cost by discarding. Look at Seasoned Pyromancer or Fable of the Mirror-Breaker. These cards let you pitch Squee to gain value, knowing he’ll be back next turn.
- Combine with "Enters the Battlefield" (ETB) triggers: If you're playing the Immortal or Monarch versions, pair them with cards like Impact Tremors or Purphoros, God of the Forge. Every time Squee comes back, your opponents take damage. It turns your "persistence" into a ticking clock.
- Use him as the ultimate chump blocker: In a pinch, Squee is an infinite wall. Block their biggest non-trample creature, let Squee die, and get him back. You can stall a game indefinitely this way while you fish for your actual win condition.
- Don't over-invest: The biggest mistake is trying to make Squee the "star." He is a supporting actor. Don't build a deck that only works if Squee is on the board. Build a deck that is better because Squee is there to grease the wheels.
Squee isn't going anywhere. He’s been around since the 90s, and he’ll likely be here when Magic celebrates its 50th anniversary. He is the ultimate survivor. He’s the Dubious Nabob. And honestly? He’s probably laughing at you right now.
Go grab a copy of Squee and start annoying your local playgroup. It's what he would want.