Michael Jackson was a perfectionist. Everyone knows that. He would spend hundreds of hours tweaking a snare hit or layering vocal harmonies until they sounded like a choir of angels. But even a genius has off days. Sometimes, the "King of Pop" leaned into wordplay that was so bizarre, so clunky, or just plain nonsensical that it leaves you scratching your head. We aren't talking about "Hee-hee" or "Shamone"—those are iconic textures. We are talking about actual lines of poetry that missed the mark.
Even on diamond-certified albums like Thriller or Bad, there are moments where the songwriting feels like a placeholder that nobody bothered to fix. It's fascinating. You have the most famous man on earth, surrounded by legendary producers like Quincy Jones, and somehow, a line about "vegetables" makes the final cut.
The "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" Vegetable Mystery
Let's look at the first offender. It’s arguably one of the most famous examples of bad Michael Jackson lyrics in his entire catalog. The song is "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'." It’s the opening track of Thriller. The groove is legendary. The energy is high. Then, MJ drops this bomb:
"You're a vegetable, you're a vegetable / Still they hate you, you're a vegetable / You're just a buffet, you're a vegetable / They eat off of you, you're a vegetable."
Wait. What?
Honestly, the first time you hear it, you might think you misheard him. You didn't. He really is calling someone a buffet. Most critics, like those at Rolling Stone who have dissected the album for forty years, suggest the song is a frantic commentary on the media and the way people "consume" celebrities. It’s about the paparazzi and the rumor mill. In that context, the metaphor kinda makes sense—if you’re a vegetable, you’re passive, and people are eating you up. But as a piece of lyricism? It’s clunky. It feels like a rough draft.
It gets weirder when you realize the song actually dates back to the Off the Wall era. Michael sat on this track for years. He had all the time in the world to change the vegetable line. He didn't. He leaned into it. The repetitive nature of the line makes it stick in your brain like a splinter. It’s a testament to his sheer charisma that he could sing something so objectively goofy and make it sound like a high-stakes protest anthem.
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Why the "Vegetable" Line Failed (and Succeeded)
The problem isn't the message; it's the imagery. Comparing a human being to a buffet is visually hilarious. It pulls you out of the intense, rhythmic trance of the song. However, some musicologists argue that Michael used "bad" lyrics intentionally to create a sense of agitation. He wanted the listener to feel the same annoyance and confusion he felt dealing with the press.
Is it a "bad" lyric? Technically, yes. Is it memorable? Absolutely. That’s the Michael Jackson paradox. He could turn a linguistic "L" into a global hook.
The "Free Willy" Problem in "Will You Be There"
Moving into the 90s, we hit another snag. By the time the Dangerous album rolled around, Michael was leaning heavily into grand, messianic anthems. "Will You Be There" is a beautiful gospel-tinged track. It’s emotional. It’s sweeping. But then we get to the spoken word outro.
Lyrics aren't just sung; they are spoken too. And this outro is... a lot.
"In my deepest despair, in my darkest hour / In my deepest sorrow, will you be there? / After trials and the tribulations, through our doubts and frustrations..."
It starts okay. Standard stuff. But then it drags. And drags. It goes on for over a minute of Michael whispering dramatically over a swelling orchestra. It’s not necessarily "bad" in the sense of a grammar mistake, but it’s a heavy-handed, melodramatic moment that many fans skip every single time.
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The real issue here is the context of the movie Free Willy. Because the song became the theme for a movie about a whale, these lyrics became forever tied to a killer whale jumping over a boy. It turned a deeply personal, almost religious song into something that felt like a corporate jingle for aquatic mammals.
The Cringe Factor in Late-Career Songwriting
As Michael got older, he lost his lyrical filter. On the track "D.S." from the HIStory album, he attacks a district attorney named Tom Sneddon. But he changes the name to "Dom Sheldon" in the lyrics (while clearly singing Sneddon). The rhyme scheme is basic: "Dom Sheldon is a cold man." It lacks the wit of his earlier work. It’s raw, sure, but it feels unpolished compared to the sharp songwriting on Wall or Thriller.
When you compare these bad Michael Jackson lyrics to his masterpieces—like "Billie Jean," where every word serves a narrative purpose—the dip in quality is jarring. In "Billie Jean," the lyrics are tense and cinematic. In "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'," they are... culinary.
Why We Forgive the Lyrical Lapses
People don't listen to Michael Jackson for Bob Dylan-level poetry. They listen for the feeling. They listen for the "vibe," a word that gets overused but fits perfectly here.
- Rhythm over Semantics: Michael often treated his voice like a percussion instrument. If a word sounded good rhythmically, he used it, regardless of whether it made sense.
- The "Ad-Lib" Factor: Many of his most "nonsense" lines were improvised in the booth. He’d catch a groove and just start making sounds or grasping at metaphors.
- Translation: MJ was a global artist. Simple, repetitive lyrics—even weird ones—translate better across language barriers than complex metaphors.
Think about "Earth Song." The "What about elephants? / What about whales?" section is scientifically accurate but lyrically elementary. Yet, when he screams those lines at the top of his lungs in a stadium, nobody is thinking about the rhyming dictionary. They are feeling the raw pain in his voice.
The Legend of "Mama-say, mama-sa, ma-ma-coo-sah"
You can't talk about MJ lyrics without mentioning the chant at the end of "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'." For years, people thought it was gibberish. It’s actually adapted from Manu Dibango’s "Soul Makossa." While it’s not a "bad" lyric, it shows Michael's approach: he liked the sound of the words more than the literal meaning. He was an impressionist painter, but with vowels and consonants.
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Actionable Takeaways for Music Fans and Writers
If you’re a songwriter or just a dedicated fan trying to understand the craft, there are a few lessons to be learned from Michael's occasional lyrical stumbles.
- Don't overthink the "perfect" word: Sometimes a weird word (like vegetable) creates a "hook" precisely because it’s unexpected. It creates "stickiness" in the brain.
- Delivery is everything: A mediocre lyric can be saved by a world-class performance. If you believe in what you’re singing, the audience usually will too.
- Context matters: A lyric that sounds bad on paper might work perfectly within the sonic landscape of a song. Always judge lyrics by how they sound with the music, not how they look on a screen.
- Watch the melodrama: If you’re writing a spoken-word section, keep it tight. Michael’s later work suffered when he let his "message" overshadow his musicality.
The next time you’re listening to Thriller and that vegetable line comes up, don’t cringe. Appreciate it. It’s a rare moment of human weirdness from a man who was often treated like a polished, superhuman statue. It reminds us that even the greatest artist in pop history sometimes just needed a snack and a better metaphor.
To truly understand Michael's lyrical evolution, listen to the Thriller 40th-anniversary demos. You can hear him humming melodies and mucking through "dummy lyrics" before the real words were written. It’s a masterclass in how songs are built from the ground up, nonsense and all.
Check out the original "Soul Makossa" by Manu Dibango to see where Michael got his rhythmic inspiration. Comparing the two tracks shows exactly how MJ took a simple phonetic idea and turned it into the most famous chant in music history.
Study the lyrics of "Billie Jean" alongside "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'." The contrast shows the two sides of Michael: the precise storyteller and the rhythmic abstract artist. Both are necessary to understand his impact on the world.