Joe Dante’s 1998 cult classic Small Soldiers is a weird fever dream. Honestly, if you grew up in the late 90s, you probably remember the unsettling feeling of seeing Chip Hazard’s plastic face snarling through a television screen. It wasn’t just another "toys come to life" flick. It was a satirical, surprisingly violent commentary on military industrialism and consumer culture, masked as a kids' movie. When we talk about small soldiers film characters, we aren’t just talking about action figures. We’re talking about a masterclass in character design that blended Stan Winston’s practical effects with early (but effective) CGI.
The movie centers on a massive corporate blunder by the fictional Globo-Tech, where high-end military AI chips are shoved into toys. This creates a lethal conflict between the Commando Elite and the Gorgonites. It’s "Toy Story" meets "Full Metal Jacket."
The Commando Elite: More Than Just Plastic Villains
Major Chip Hazard is the primary antagonist, voiced by the legendary Lee Marvin’s Dirty Dozen co-star, Ernest Borgnine. Hazard isn’t just a bad guy; he’s the personification of "unfiltered" military aggression. He doesn't have a nuanced backstory. He was programmed to win, and to him, anything that isn't a Commando is a target. The Commandos are fascinating because they represent a specific kind of 90s hyper-masculinity that the film is actively making fun of.
Then you’ve got the rest of the squad. Brick Bazooka. Kip Killigan. Link Static. They are voiced by most of the surviving cast of The Dirty Dozen, which is a deep-cut casting choice by Dante. These characters are literally built to destroy. One of the most disturbing parts of the film—and one that many people forget—is when they use the AI chips to "reanimate" Gwendy dolls. It turns a fashion toy into a psychological horror element. This transformation shows the sheer adaptability of the Commando Elite's programming. They don't just use guns; they use whatever is available in a suburban household to wage war.
The Gorgonites: The Misunderstood "Monsters"
The Gorgonites are the heart of the story. Led by Archer, voiced by Frank Langella, they are technically the "losers" of their own toy line's lore. They were designed to be hunted. This is where the small soldiers film characters get really interesting from a narrative perspective. Archer is noble, soft-spoken, and deeply afraid. Unlike the Commandos, who are born knowing how to fight, Archer has to learn how to defend himself.
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The Gorgonites are a motley crew of "freaks."
- Slamfist: A rock-like creature with a boulder for a hand.
- Insaniac: A spinning, chaotic mess of limbs.
- Troglokhan: A scavenger-type creature.
- Punch-It: The heavy hitter.
What makes them resonate is their pacifism. They don't want to fight. They want to find "Gorgon," their mythical home. It’s a bit heartbreaking, actually. They are sentient beings programmed to lose, searching for a place that doesn't exist because their creators were too lazy to build a playset for it. That kind of existential dread is pretty heavy for a PG-13 movie about toys, but it’s why the movie stays in your head.
The Technological Terror of the Gwendy Dolls
We have to talk about the Gwendy dolls. Seriously. This is the moment the movie shifts from an action-comedy to a straight-up horror film for a few minutes. When Chip Hazard realizes he’s outnumbered, he performs "battlefield surgery" on a collection of Barbie-esque dolls.
The result is a twitching, mutated army of plastic fashionistas. This sequence was achieved through incredible puppetry. It tapped into the "uncanny valley" long before that was a common buzzword. The Gwendys represent the ultimate perversion of domesticity in the film. They use hairsprays as flamethrowers and high heels as spears. It’s chaotic. It’s brilliant. It’s Joe Dante at his most cynical.
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Why These Characters Resonate Decades Later
Why do we still care about small soldiers film characters in 2026? Part of it is the craftsmanship. Stan Winston Studio treated these toys like they were real actors. They had weight. When a Commando Elite falls, you hear the heavy thud of high-grade plastic. The tactile nature of the effects makes the threat feel real in a way that modern, weightless CGI often fails to do.
Another reason is the voice acting. You had Michael McKean, Harry Shearer, and Christopher Guest—the Spinal Tap crew—voicing the Gorgonites. This gave the "monsters" a quirky, intellectual, and slightly neurotic energy that contrasted perfectly with the gruff, stoic military barks of the Commandos. It made the Gorgonites feel like the underdogs we actually wanted to root for.
The film also serves as a warning. It’s about the danger of "smart" tech being integrated into every facet of our lives without oversight. Phil Fimple and Larry Benson (the toy designers) are the real villains, honestly. They were so caught up in the "cool" factor of the technology that they didn't stop to think about the implications of putting military-grade processors in the hands of children.
Practical Insights for Fans and Collectors
If you're looking to dive back into the world of Small Soldiers, there are a few things you should know about the legacy of these characters.
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- The Original Toys are Gold: The 1998 Hasbro line is highly sought after. Specifically, the "Signature Series" figures are the most movie-accurate. If you find an original Archer or Chip Hazard in a box, hold onto it.
- Look for the Unreleased Prototypes: There is a whole subculture of collectors who track down the unreleased "Series 2" Gorgonites and Commandos that never made it to shelves after the film’s modest box office performance.
- Appreciate the Sound Design: Next time you watch, listen to the different sounds the characters make. The Commandos sound like machinery and boots; the Gorgonites sound like organic matter and grinding stone. It’s a subtle touch that adds immense depth to the characterization.
- The "Large Scale" Replicas: Recently, boutique toy companies have been looking into high-end, prop-accurate recreations. These use modern scanning tech to replicate the exact models used in the film.
The Final Verdict on the Toy War
Small Soldiers isn't a perfect movie, but its characters are perfect examples of 90s creativity. They represent a time when practical effects and CGI were just starting to dance together in a way that felt dangerous and new. Chip Hazard and Archer aren't just toys; they are icons of a specific era of filmmaking that wasn't afraid to get a little bit weird and a little bit mean.
If you want to understand the impact of these characters, look at how we view AI today. We are living in the world the movie warned us about—where the line between "tool" and "autonomous threat" is getting thinner every day. Only now, the chips aren't just in our toys; they're in our pockets.
To truly appreciate the artistry, go back and watch the "making of" documentaries regarding the Stan Winston puppets. Pay close attention to the servo-motors used in Chip Hazard's facial expressions. That level of detail is why these characters have outlasted much more expensive blockbusters from the same year.
Next Steps for Enthusiasts:
- Verify Authenticity: If buying "movie prop" replicas on secondary markets, always request photos of the internal wiring or the "Globo-Tech" branding stamps to ensure they aren't mass-market 1998 retail versions.
- Research the "Dirty Dozen" Connection: Watch the 1967 film The Dirty Dozen to hear the original voices of the Commando Elite in their human roles; it adds a massive layer of meta-commentary to their performances in Small Soldiers.
- Check Digital Archive Sites: Sites like the Stan Winston School of Character Arts often feature behind-the-scenes galleries of the Gorgonite animatronics that show details never seen on screen.