Some songs just get under your skin. They don’t just play; they ache. Sara Bareilles wrote a masterpiece when she sat down to pen "She Used to Be Mine" for the Broadway musical Waitress. It wasn’t just another show tune. It became a lifeline for anyone who has ever looked in the mirror and felt like a stranger was staring back.
She wrote it for Jenna. Jenna is the protagonist of Waitress, a talented pie maker trapped in a stagnant, abusive marriage, facing an unplanned pregnancy. But honestly? The song outgrew the stage almost immediately. It’s a messy, honest confession about losing yourself. It’s about the girl you used to be—the one who was messy but kind, reckless but firm. If you've ever felt like you've drifted miles away from your true self, this song is probably your personal anthem.
The Story Behind the Lyrics
Sara Bareilles wasn't even sure she could write for Broadway. Before Waitress became a massive hit, she was primarily known as a pop star with hits like "Love Song" and "Brave." When Diane Paulus and the creative team approached her to adapt Adrienne Shelly’s 2007 film, Sara had to find a way to translate Jenna’s internal world into melody.
"She Used to Be Mine" was actually the first song she wrote for the show. That’s rare. Usually, composers start with the big opening numbers or the "I Want" song. Instead, Sara went straight for the jugular. She tapped into the specific feeling of being "imperfect, but she tries."
The lyrics are a list of contradictions. She’s "messy," "kind," "lonely," "good," and "brave." It’s this specific juxtaposition that makes the song feel so human. Most pop songs want you to be one thing—happy, sad, empowered. This song says you are allowed to be a disaster and a hero at the same exact time.
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Why the Performance Matters So Much
You can't talk about this song without talking about Jessie Mueller. She originated the role of Jenna on Broadway, and her performance of this song is legendary. She didn't just sing it; she lived it. There’s a specific grit in her voice when she hits the bridge. When she sings about being "gone," you feel the weight of every year Jenna spent shrinking herself to fit into a life that didn't want her.
Since then, we’ve seen so many interpretations. Shoshana Bean brought a soulful, powerhouse energy to it. Katharine McPhee gave it a vulnerable, crystalline quality. Even Sara Bareilles eventually stepped into the role herself. Each performer brings a different flavor of regret and resilience to the table.
It’s a deceptively hard song to sing. It starts in a low, almost conversational register. It’s like a secret being whispered. Then, it builds. By the time you get to the final "She used to be mine," the singer is usually belting at the top of their lungs, but it has to remain grounded. If it’s too "pretty," the meaning evaporates. It needs to be raw.
Breaking Down the Impact of "She Used to Be Mine"
The song has lived a second life on social media and singing competitions. Why? Because it’s universal. You don't have to be a pregnant pie maker in the American South to relate to the idea of mourning your past self.
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- Identity Loss: It captures the specific grief of looking back at your younger self and realizing you’ve traded your fire for survival.
- The Power of "And": It validates that people are complex. You can be "hard on herself" and "giving and soft."
- A Lack of Resolution: The song doesn't end with a "everything is fine now" moment. It ends with an acknowledgment. Sometimes, just admitting you’re lost is the first step to being found.
There’s a reason this track is a staple on TikTok and Instagram Reels. People use it to soundtrack their transitions—weight loss journeys, coming out stories, or just getting through a tough breakup. It’s become a shorthand for "I'm still here, even if I'm different."
The Technical Brilliance of the Composition
Musically, the song is a masterclass in tension and release. It’s set in the key of F Major, which usually feels bright and happy. But Sara uses these suspended chords and a pulsing piano rhythm that feels like a heartbeat or a ticking clock.
The melody moves in waves. It rises when she talks about the girl she was and dips back down when she realizes she’s looking at a ghost. The bridge is where the magic happens. The shift to "To make it all right / To bring back the light" is a desperate plea.
Interestingly, the song doesn't have a traditional chorus-verse-chorus-verse-bridge structure. It feels more like a stream of consciousness. It’s a monologue set to music. This is why it works so well in the context of the show—it stops time. Everything else in the diner fades away, and it’s just Jenna and her piano.
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What Most People Get Wrong About the Meaning
Some people hear "She Used to Be Mine" and think it’s a song about regret. They think it’s just a sad ballad about a woman who gave up. That’s a pretty surface-level take, honestly.
If you listen closely, it’s actually a song about self-compassion. To describe yourself as "messy but she’s kind" is an act of forgiveness. Jenna is finally seeing herself clearly for the first time in years. She’s acknowledging her mistakes, but she’s also acknowledging her worth.
It’s not just a funeral for her old self. It’s a reckoning. By the end of the show, this realization is what gives her the strength to leave Earl and start a new life with her daughter, Lulu. You can't change your life until you admit how far you've fallen from the person you intended to be.
How to Apply the Message to Your Own Life
If this song resonates with you, it’s usually a sign that you’re going through a period of self-reflection. It’s easy to feel like the "good" version of you is gone forever. But the truth is, that person is still in there.
- Write your own "She Is" list. Sit down and write out your contradictions. Are you brave but terrified? Organized but a mess? Embracing these dualities makes you more resilient.
- Acknowledge the drift. We all change. Sometimes the drift happens so slowly we don't notice until we're miles offshore. Recognizing that you’ve lost a part of yourself isn't a failure—it's an observation.
- Find your "Pie." In the musical, Jenna uses baking as her escape and her expression. Find that one thing that makes you feel like you again, whether it’s a hobby, a job, or a specific group of friends.
- Listen to different versions. If you're feeling stuck, listen to the different covers of "She Used to Be Mine." Each singer finds a different "truth" in the lyrics. It reminds you that there are a million ways to tell your own story.
The song remains a staple of the American musical theater canon for a reason. It’s a rare piece of art that manages to be both specific to a character and universally applicable to the human condition. It’s a reminder that even when we feel like we’ve lost our way, the person we used to be is still waiting for us to come back home.
The next time you hear that opening piano chord, don't just listen to the sadness. Listen for the "brave." Listen for the "strong." Because at the end of the day, that girl isn't just someone you used to be—she's the foundation of who you're becoming.