He started as the guy who couldn't get a drink. Or rather, the guy who served the drinks. In the second season of Sex and the City, Steve Brady was just a bartender with a thick Queens accent and a corduroy jacket. He was the "regular guy" foil to Miranda Hobbes’ high-powered, cynical corporate lawyer persona. For a while, it worked. They were the couple that shouldn't have happened but did.
Fast forward to the revival, And Just Like That..., and everything changed.
The internet went into a collective meltdown. People were furious. Why? Because the Sex and the City Steve we once knew—the guy who was emotionally intelligent enough to call Miranda out on her crap—seemed to have been turned into a bumbling, hearing-aid-wearing shell of himself. It sparked a massive debate about how we treat aging men on screen and whether the writers simply "assassinated" a beloved character to make Miranda’s new journey easier. Honestly, it's a mess.
The Evolution of Steve Brady: From One-Night Stand to Soulmate
Steve wasn't supposed to stay. David Eigenberg, the actor who plays him, has talked openly in interviews about how he was originally only slated for a few episodes. But the chemistry with Cynthia Nixon was undeniable. He brought a softness to the show that it desperately needed. While Big was toxic and Aidan was perhaps too perfect, Steve was real. He had flaws. He had a mom with dementia. He struggled with money.
He was the "nice guy" who actually had a backbone. Remember when he broke up with Miranda because he couldn't handle her buying him an expensive suit? That wasn't just pride; it was about identity. He represented a specific type of New York masculinity—unpretentious, hardworking, and deeply loyal.
Then came the first movie.
The cheating scandal felt like a punch in the gut to the fan base. Steve Brady, the man who waited for Miranda, cheated on her because they hadn't had sex in six months? It felt out of character for many. Yet, the way they reconciled on the Brooklyn Bridge remains one of the most iconic moments in the franchise’s history. It showed that marriage is hard. It showed that forgiveness is a choice. It solidified Steve as a cornerstone of the Sex and the City universe.
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What Happened in And Just Like That?
When the revival premiered, fans were shocked. Steve seemed... old. Not just "older," but fundamentally diminished. He was portrayed as someone who just wanted to sit on the couch and eat ice cream while Miranda was out exploring her sexuality and seeking a new life with Che Diaz.
Critics and fans alike called out the "erasure" of Steve’s personality. The hearing loss was a real-life inclusion—David Eigenberg actually uses hearing aids—but the writing made it feel like a punchline. It felt like the show was trying to justify Miranda leaving him by making him as unappealing as possible.
The backlash was swift.
Social media was flooded with "Justice for Steve" hashtags. People pointed out that Steve had always been supportive of Miranda’s career. He stayed home with Brady. He moved to Brooklyn, a place he loved, but she initially hated. He was the partner who compromised. Seeing him relegated to a "boring husband" archetype felt like a betrayal of twenty years of character development.
The Conflict of the Modern Reboot
Why do writers do this? Usually, it's to create conflict. In the original series, the conflict was "will they/won't they." In a revival featuring characters in their 50s, the conflict shifts to "should they stay together?" To make Miranda’s departure feel "empowered," the writers seemingly felt they had to make the alternative—life with Steve—feel like a slow death by boredom.
But it backfired.
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Audiences today are more protective of their "comfort characters" than ever before. We've lived through a lot. We want to see our favorites treated with dignity. The nuance of a long-term marriage ending because people grow apart is interesting; making one partner look incompetent to justify the split is just lazy writing.
The Real-World Impact of the Sex and the City Steve Debate
This isn't just about a TV show. The conversation around Sex and the City Steve touches on how we perceive middle-aged men and the "invisible" work of being the stable partner.
- The "Nice Guy" Trap: Steve represents the archetype of the man who provides emotional stability. When that is portrayed as "boring," it sends a message that high-drama relationships (like Miranda and Che) are the only ones worth having.
- Aging on Screen: There is a double standard. While the women are shown as vibrant and exploring new horizons, the men (aside from maybe Harry Goldenblatt) are often shown as stagnant.
- Communication Breakdown: The revival showed a total lack of communication that didn't align with the Steve and Miranda we saw in the early 2000s. They used to talk. They used to fight. In the new version, they just co-existed.
The fans weren't just mad because Miranda cheated. They were mad because the show acted like Steve didn't matter.
Why We Still Root for Him
Despite everything, Steve remains a fan favorite. Why? Because he’s relatable. Most of us aren't wearing Dior to brunch or living in million-dollar lofts. We’re more like Steve—getting older, dealing with health issues, trying to keep our kids on the right track, and hoping there’s some ice cream in the freezer at the end of the day.
His resilience is his best trait. Even after Miranda broke his heart again, we saw glimpses of the "old Steve" in the second season of the revival. He started working out. He opened a new bar at Coney Island. He regained some of that Queens fire. It was a reminder that Steve Brady is a survivor. He’s the guy who builds things.
The Problem With the "Boring" Narrative
Let’s be honest. Being "boring" is often a luxury. Steve was the one who provided the stable home base that allowed Miranda to be her high-octane self. When that stability is framed as a cage, it ignores the labor involved in maintaining a long-term partnership.
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If you look at the series as a whole, Steve is actually one of the most progressive characters. He was a hands-on dad when it wasn't the "cool" thing to be. He supported a woman who made significantly more money than him without letting it crush his ego. He stayed through her cynicism and her coldness.
Moving Forward: What Fans Actually Want
If the writers want to fix the Steve Brady situation, they need to stop treating him as a secondary obstacle to Miranda’s happiness. He deserves his own arc that doesn't revolve around being the "jilted husband."
- Acknowledge his history: Let him be the savvy businessman we know he is. He went from a bartender to owning multiple successful bars. That takes grit.
- Give him a life: He has friends. He has a kid. He has a community in Brooklyn. Show that.
- Respect the aging process: Hearing aids don't make you a child. They are a tool. Use them as a detail, not a personality trait.
The reality is that Sex and the City Steve is the heartbeat of the show for a huge portion of the audience. He’s the anchor. Without him, the show feels a little too untethered, a little too obsessed with the shiny and new, and not enough with the deep and lasting.
How to Handle the Steve Brady Controversy in Your Own Rewatch
If you’re diving back into the original series or catching up on the revival, it helps to look at Steve through a specific lens. Don't just see him as "Miranda’s guy."
- Watch for his emotional intelligence: In the early seasons, notice how often he’s the one to initiate the "hard" conversations.
- Observe the power dynamics: Pay attention to how the show handles their class difference. It’s one of the few times the series actually tackles the reality of New York’s wealth gap.
- Separate the actor from the writing: David Eigenberg is a phenomenal actor who brings a lot of heart to a role that could have been very one-dimensional. His performance often carries scenes that are otherwise poorly written.
At the end of the day, Steve Brady represents the "everyman" in a world of "superwomen." He’s the reminder that even in a city of millions, finding one person who really sees you—and stays—is the rarest thing of all. Whether or not he and Miranda end up together in the long run doesn't change the fact that he was the most transformative relationship in her life.
To truly understand the legacy of the show, you have to understand Steve. He isn't just a side character; he's the proof that even the most cynical person can find a reason to believe in something simple and good.
Next Steps for Fans
- Revisit Season 4, Episode 12 ("Just Say Yes"): This is peak Steve and Miranda. It highlights why their dynamic worked so well and why the revival felt so jarring for long-time viewers.
- Follow David Eigenberg’s Interviews: He provides incredible context on how he navigated the character’s changes and his own real-life hearing loss.
- Support Local Bars: In the spirit of Steve, skip the high-end cocktail lounges once in a while and find a neighborhood spot where the bartender actually knows your name. That’s the "Steve Brady" way of living.