War stories usually follow a specific, almost predictable rhythm. You get the grit, the boots on the ground, the adrenaline, and the inevitable homecoming. But Send Me: The True Story of a Mother at War isn't interested in sticking to that script. It’s a book that demands you look at the cost of service through a lens we rarely see—the eyes of a mother who isn't just waiting at home, but is the one actually pulling the trigger and leading the mission.
Marty Skovlund Jr. and Kim "Rooster" Sheffield didn’t just write another military biography here. They mapped out a decade and a half of the Global War on Terror (GWOT) through the life of Kim Sheffield, a woman who balanced the high-stakes world of Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) with the visceral, exhausting reality of raising kids. It’s messy. It’s honest. Honestly, it’s one of the most sobering accounts of modern warfare I’ve read in a long time.
What People Get Wrong About Kim Sheffield's Journey
Most people hear "mother at war" and they immediately jump to a Hallmark-style narrative about the "brave mom" who misses her kids but does her duty. That is a massive oversimplification. Send Me: The True Story of a Mother at War shreds that trope.
Kim wasn't just "in the military." She was at the tip of the spear. We’re talking about a woman who spent years in the shadows of the intelligence community, working alongside some of the most elite units in the U.S. military. The book highlights the sheer friction of transitioning from a target-rich environment in a war zone to a grocery store aisle in North Carolina. That "light switch" transition is something civilian society barely understands, and Skovlund captures that jarring shift with brutal clarity.
One moment, she’s managing life-and-death intelligence data; the next, she’s dealing with the mundane, yet somehow equally stressful, demands of a toddler. It’s a paradox. It’s a strain on the soul.
The Reality of JSOC and the Intelligence Grind
A lot of military books focus on the "door kickers"—the SEALs and Delta operators. While their roles are undeniably dangerous, Send Me pivots the focus toward the intelligence side. Without people like Kim, those operators are basically flying blind.
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The book details the "F3EAD" cycle—Find, Fix, Finish, Exploit, Analyze, and Disseminate. It sounds clinical. It isn’t. In practice, it’s a 24/7 grind where a single missed detail could mean a mission failure or a lost American life. Kim’s role was integral to this process. She was part of a generation of women who broke through the "brass ceiling" of Special Operations, often having to work twice as hard to prove half as much.
The narrative doesn’t shy away from the institutional sexism she faced, either. It wasn't always a grand, dramatic confrontation. Often, it was the subtle, grinding dismissiveness of a male-dominated culture that didn't know what to do with a woman who was better at her job than they were.
The True Cost of "Send Me"
The title itself, Send Me, is a reference to Isaiah 6:8: "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"
In military circles, this is a rallying cry. It’s about volunteerism and sacrifice. But the book asks a deeper question: what happens when you keep saying "send me" for fifteen years?
- The Physical Toll: Years of deployments, carrying heavy gear, and the chronic stress of combat environments don't just disappear.
- The Emotional Distance: How do you stay connected to a child when you’ve seen things that make their childhood problems feel insignificant?
- The Identity Crisis: Who is Kim when she isn't "Rooster"?
There’s a specific section in the book that discusses the "unseen" casualties of war. Not the ones who come home in flag-draped coffins, but the ones who come home and find their families have moved on without them. Kim's story is a testament to the resilience required to stitch those pieces back together. It’s not a clean ending. Life rarely is.
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Why This Story Matters in 2026
We are currently in a period of reflection regarding the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The dust has settled, but the scars remain. Send Me: The True Story of a Mother at War serves as a vital historical record of a specific type of operator—the female intelligence professional.
Experts like Skovlund, who has a deep background in the 75th Ranger Regiment and extensive experience as a conflict journalist, bring a level of technical accuracy that prevents the book from becoming overly sentimental. You get the real nomenclature. You get the real atmosphere of the "JOC" (Joint Operations Center).
Breaking the Silence on Female Veterans
For decades, the veteran narrative was exclusively male. That’s changing, but slowly. Kim Sheffield’s story is a cornerstone of that change. She represents thousands of women who served in combat-adjacent or direct-action roles before the "combat exclusion" policy was even officially lifted. They were there all along. They were doing the work. They were bleeding, fighting, and dying right alongside the men, often without the same recognition or post-service support.
Honestly, the way Kim describes the internal "noise" of her life is something any working parent can relate to, even if they've never stepped foot in a desert. It’s the feeling of never being "enough" in any one place. When she was at war, she felt like a failing mother. When she was at home, she felt like a failing soldier.
A Closer Look at the Collaboration
Marty Skovlund Jr. didn't just ghostwrite this. It’s a collaborative effort where Kim’s voice is preserved. That’s why it feels so "human." You can tell when a military book has been sanitized by a PR department or a heavy-handed editor. This one feels like it still has the dirt on its boots.
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The prose varies. Some chapters are fast-paced, mimicking the frantic energy of a deployment. Others are slow, heavy, and contemplative. This stylistic choice mirrors Kim’s own internal state. It’s effective. It works because it doesn't try to be "perfect" or "balanced." It tries to be true.
Actionable Insights from Kim’s Story
If you’re reading this because you’re interested in military history, or perhaps you're a veteran yourself, there are real takeaways here that go beyond just "thanks for your service."
- Acknowledge the Transition: If you know someone transitioning out of a high-tempo career—military or otherwise—understand that the "silence" of civilian life can be louder than the noise of the job.
- Support Female Veterans Specifically: The VA and veteran support organizations have historically struggled to address the unique needs of women, from healthcare to childcare during appointments. Advocacy in this area is still desperately needed.
- Read Beyond the Big Names: The "famous" SEALs get the movies. The intelligence professionals like Kim Sheffield get the results. If you want to understand how modern war actually functions, you have to look at the enablers and the analysts.
- Embrace the Complexity: Don't look for a "happy ending" where everything is resolved. Look for the growth that happens in the middle of the mess. Kim’s story is about persistence, not perfection.
Send Me: The True Story of a Mother at War isn't just a book for military buffs. It’s a book for anyone who has ever felt torn between two worlds. It’s for anyone who has ever said "yes" to a calling, only to realize that the calling comes with a bill that eventually has to be paid.
The best way to honor stories like Kim's is to actually engage with them. Don't just look at the cover and think you know the story. Read the details of the sleepless nights in Bagram. Feel the tension of the missed phone calls home. Understand that when we send a person to war, we are sending a whole network of people—parents, children, spouses—right along with them.
To truly understand the legacy of the GWOT, we must stop looking for easy heroes and start looking for the complicated humans who did the work. Kim "Rooster" Sheffield is one of those humans. Her story is as much about the strength of the human spirit as it is about the tactical realities of intelligence gathering. It’s a heavy read, sure. But it’s an essential one for anyone who wants to know what "service" really means in the 21st century.