If you walk into Old Town Scottsdale expecting nothing but white tablecloths and tiny portions of kale, you’re in for a massive shock. Seriously. Right there on the corner of 2nd Street and Scottsdale Road sits a place that basically laughs in the face of "diet culture." It’s called Rehab Burger Therapy.
It’s loud. It’s crowded. It’s covered in surfboards.
Honestly, the first time I went, I thought I’d accidentally stepped into a beach bar in Hermosa. But then the smell hit me. That specific, heavy scent of searing beef and melting cheese that tells you your cholesterol is about to take a hit for the team. This isn't just a restaurant; it’s a local institution that has survived the massive corporate takeover of the Scottsdale waterfront by simply being better and weirder than everyone else.
Most people come for the "Therapy." That’s what they call their burgers. It’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, sure, but after a long day of dealing with Valley traffic or a Saturday night that went three hours too long, a burger the size of a hubcap genuinely feels like medical intervention.
The Weird Logic of the PBJ Burger
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Or rather, the peanut butter on the burger.
You’ve probably heard of the Pig’s Belly PBJ Burger. It sounds like a dare. It sounds like something a teenager would invent while raidng the pantry at 2:00 AM. It’s a beef patty topped with peanut butter, grape jelly, sriracha sauce, and bacon.
I was skeptical. I really was. But there is a weird, savory-sweet science happening here that actually works. The saltiness of the bacon cuts through the sticky sweetness of the jelly, and the sriracha adds this tiny kick at the back of your throat that keeps it from being too heavy. It’s messy. You will need roughly fourteen napkins. Don't wear a white shirt. Seriously, just don't.
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Why the "Relief" Size Matters
They offer two sizes: the "Relief" (5 oz) and the "Therapy" (10 oz).
Most people think they’re tough and go for the 10 oz. Unless you are an offensive lineman for the Cardinals, you probably don't need the 10 oz. The smaller size allows for a much better ratio of bun to topping. Plus, it leaves room for the sweet potato tots, which are arguably the best thing on the menu. They come with this maple marshmallow dipping sauce that feels like dessert but counts as a side dish.
Finding Rehab Burger Therapy in the Chaos of Old Town
Scottsdale has changed a lot.
Ten years ago, Old Town was a bit sleepier. Now, it’s a sea of high-rise apartments and $18 cocktails. Rehab Burger Therapy has managed to keep its soul. It’s owned by Ken and Kristi, and you can still feel that "mom and pop" energy despite how busy it gets. They opened this place back in 2012 after years in the corporate restaurant world, and you can tell they were tired of the "rules."
The decor is a chaotic mix of beach vibes and bicycle parts. There are signs everywhere that remind you to "get a life" or "relax." It’s the kind of place where the servers actually have personalities and might give you a bit of a hard time if you’re being too high-maintenance. It’s refreshing.
What to Order if You Hate Burgers (Wait, Why Are You Here?)
Look, it happens. Maybe you got dragged along by your burger-obsessed friends.
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If you aren't feeling the beef, the Spicy Mac & Cheese is surprisingly legit. It’s not that watery, yellow stuff from a box. It’s thick. It’s got a bit of a crust. They also do a blackened fish taco that holds its own against the seafood spots down the street. But let’s be real: you’re here for the red meat.
If you want something traditional, go for the Showcase Burger. It’s got Hatch green chiles, jalapeño jack cheese, and "Rehab sauce." It’s a classic Arizona flavor profile. The chiles aren't blow-your-head-off hot, but they provide that smoky, earthy flavor that defines food in the Southwest.
Surviving the Crowd and Making a Plan
Here is the thing about Scottsdale: everyone wants to eat at the same time.
If you show up at 7:00 PM on a Friday during Spring Training, you’re going to be waiting on the sidewalk for a while. There’s no sugar-coating it. The place is small-ish and the demand is high.
- Go Mid-Afternoon: Between 2:00 PM and 4:00 PM, you can usually walk right in.
- The Bar is King: If it’s just two of you, skip the hostess and look for seats at the bar. You get your food faster and the bartenders are great for local recommendations.
- Check the Specials: They often have a "Burger of the Month" that isn't on the main menu. Sometimes it’s a miss, but usually, it’s a genius-level invention involving brisket or fried eggs.
The Hatch Chile Obsession
In Arizona, we take Hatch chiles seriously. Rehab knows this. They don't use the canned, flavorless stuff. When the chiles are in season, you can taste the difference. It’s that slight bitterness followed by a slow-burning heat. If you're visiting from out of state, this is the "local" flavor you need to try. Pair it with a local craft beer—they usually have a rotating selection of SanTan or Four Peaks brews on tap.
A Note on the Prices and Value
Scottsdale isn't cheap. You can easily spend $30 on a mediocre salad three blocks away.
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At Rehab, you’re looking at $15 to $20 for a burger and a side. Given the quality of the beef—which is never frozen and hand-pressed—it’s actually one of the better values in the area. You leave feeling like you actually ate something substantial.
Is it "healthy"? Absolutely not. But that’s the point of "Therapy." Sometimes you need a break from the green juices and the gym-grind culture that permeates Scottsdale. You need a place where it’s okay to have grease dripping down your chin while a surf movie plays on the TV in the corner.
The Neighborhood Vibe
One of the coolest parts about this location is what’s around it. You’re within walking distance of the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art and a dozen different galleries. It’s a great "anchor" for a day of walking around. Start with the art, end with the burger. Or vice versa, though you might need a nap after the burger.
How to Do Rehab Right: Actionable Steps
- Skip the White Clothes: I’m repeating this because it’s important. The Rehab sauce is orange and it wants to live on your sleeve.
- Order the Sweet Potato Tots: Don't argue. Just do it. Get the marshmallow sauce. Even if you think it sounds gross, it’s a game-changer.
- The "Pot Roast" Secret: If they have the pot roast sliders on special, get them as an appetizer for the table. The meat is braised for hours and literally falls apart.
- Parking Hack: Don't try to park right in front of the restaurant on 2nd Street. It’s a nightmare. Head to the public parking garage on Wells Fargo Ave. It’s free (usually) and only a three-minute walk away.
- Be Patient: The kitchen is small. When the place is packed, the food takes a minute. Relax. Have a drink. Soak in the beach-shack-in-the-desert aesthetic.
Rehab Burger Therapy isn't trying to be the fanciest place in the Zip Code. It’s trying to be the most consistent. In a town where restaurants open and close every six months, their longevity says everything you need to know. It’s high-quality comfort food served in a space that doesn't take itself too seriously.
If you want a burger that requires a knife and fork (and maybe a nap afterward), this is the spot. Walk in, grab a stool, and order the PBJ burger. Your taste buds will thank you, even if your personal trainer doesn't.
Head to the corner of 2nd and Scottsdale Road. Look for the surfboards. If there's a line, wait in it—it’s one of the few places in Old Town where the hype actually matches the plate. Grab a local IPA, ask about the seasonal burger special, and make sure you try that marshmallow dipping sauce at least once.
Next Steps for Your Visit:
- Check the Hours: They typically open at 11:00 AM daily.
- Location: 7000 E 2nd St, Scottsdale, AZ 85251.
- Pro Tip: If you're a fan of spicy, ask for a side of the "Ghost Face" sauce, but use it sparingly—it’s made with ghost peppers and isn't for the faint of heart.