Why My Favorite Season Is the Fall of the Patriarchy and What That Actually Looks Like

Why My Favorite Season Is the Fall of the Patriarchy and What That Actually Looks Like

You know that feeling when the air finally turns crisp and everyone starts obsessing over pumpkin spice and oversized sweaters? It’s a whole mood. But for a lot of us, there’s a different kind of shift happening that’s way more satisfying than a change in the weather. Honestly, my favorite season is the fall of the patriarchy, and no, that’s not just a catchy slogan for a tote bag. It’s a massive, structural cooling-off of systems that have been overheating for centuries.

We’re living through a weird, crunchy transition period.

It’s like that moment in October when the leaves are half-dead but also incredibly vibrant. We’re seeing old power structures—the rigid, top-down, "because I said so" male-dominated norms—start to brittle and snap. It isn't just about men versus women. That’s a common misconception. It’s actually about the decline of a specific system that demands dominance, rewards burnout, and punishes vulnerability in everyone, regardless of gender.


The Economics of a System in Decline

Let’s look at the math. The old-school patriarchal model was built on a single-breadwinner household, which, in 2026, is basically a fantasy for most people. According to data from the Pew Research Center, the "breadwinner" gap has been closing for decades, but the cultural shift is finally catching up to the ledger.

When we talk about the fall of the patriarchy, we’re talking about the death of the "ideal worker" myth. You know the one. The person who can work 60 hours a week because they have someone else at home handling the laundry, the kids, and the emotional labor. That model is collapsing because it’s physically and financially impossible now.

Modern companies are realizing—sometimes kicking and screaming—that flexibility isn't a "woman's perk." It’s a survival requirement.

Why the "Boss Babe" Era Was Actually Part of the Problem

Remember when we thought the answer was just putting women in the same toxic roles men held? We called it "leaning in." It turns out, that was just Patriarchy Lite.

Real change isn't just changing the face at the top; it's changing how the top operates.

Dr. Caitlyn Collins, a sociologist at Washington University, has spent years researching how different countries support working parents. Her findings basically suggest that until we stop seeing "care work" as a private burden for women and start seeing it as a collective responsibility, the patriarchy just keeps wearing a different outfit. The reason my favorite season is the fall of the patriarchy is that we are finally moving past the "girlboss" phase and into a "burn it all down and rebuild it for humans" phase.

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Emotional Literacy is the New Power Move

Have you noticed how much we talk about "soft skills" now?

In the old days—let’s call them the "Dark Ages of the 1950s"—emotional intelligence was dismissed as "feminine" and therefore useless in business. Today, if a CEO can't manage a diverse team with empathy, they're a liability. This is a massive pillar of the patriarchy crumbling in real-time.

  • Men are allowed to have feelings now (mostly).
  • Vulnerability is being taught in leadership seminars.
  • The "strong, silent type" is increasingly just seen as "the guy who needs therapy."

It’s liberating. Honestly, it’s a relief for everyone.

The weight of performing a specific brand of stoic masculinity is heavy. When that weight lifts, everyone breathes easier. It’s like taking off a heavy wool coat after a long day.


Dissecting the Backlash: Why Some People are Terrified

You can't have a change this big without some serious friction. Whenever a dominant group loses their exclusive grip on power, they tend to frame it as oppression. We see this in the rise of "tradwife" content on social media or the resurgence of hyper-masculine influencers like Andrew Tate (though his influence is thankfully waning as legal issues and reality set in).

These movements are basically the "last gasp" of a dying season.

They are trying to rake the leaves back onto the trees. It’s a desperate attempt to return to a hierarchy that felt safe because it was predictable. But the reality is that those old roles didn't actually make most men happy either. High rates of "deaths of despair" among middle-aged men suggest that the patriarchal promise—work hard, provide, stay silent—was a bit of a lie.

The Nuance of "Falling"

When I say "fall," I don't mean a violent crash.

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I mean a composting.

In nature, the "fall" is necessary for the soil to get rich again. The fall of the patriarchy is the composting of rigid gender roles so that something more flexible and sustainable can grow. We’re seeing it in the way Gen Z approaches dating, where "splitting the bill" and "discussing boundaries" are the baseline, not the exception. We're seeing it in the "quiet quitting" movement, which is really just people refusing to sacrifice their lives for a corporate hierarchy that doesn't love them back.

Practical Shifts: How to Live in This New Season

So, if we agree that my favorite season is the fall of the patriarchy, how do we actually navigate it without getting lost in the woods? It requires a bit of a mindset shift.

  1. Audit Your Emotional Labor
    Look at who is doing the "worrying" in your house. Who remembers the birthdays? Who knows when the milk is low? If it’s always one person, the patriarchy is still chilling in your kitchen. Redistribute the mental load. Not just the chores—the thinking about the chores.

  2. Redefine Success Beyond Dominance
    The patriarchal definition of success is "being the biggest dog in the yard." Try a new metric: "How many people did I help today?" or "How much time did I spend being present?" It sounds crunchy, but it’s actually a radical act of defiance against a system that only values output.

  3. Champion Shared Parental Leave
    If you’re in a position of power at work, don't just offer maternity leave. Demand that the men in your office take their full paternity leave. When men stay home with babies, the patriarchy loses its strongest grip on the workplace. It levels the playing field in a way that nothing else can.

  4. Support Decentralized Leadership
    The "Great Man" theory of history is dead. Support organizations and movements that use "flat" structures. Look at how groups like Black Lives Matter or the Sunrise Movement operate—they focus on collective leadership rather than a single charismatic (usually male) head.

The Reality Check

Look, we aren't "there" yet.

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Pay gaps still exist. Medical gaslighting of women is still a massive issue. Reproductive rights are in a state of chaotic flux in the U.S. and elsewhere. It’s not like we woke up and the patriarchy was just... gone. It’s more like we’re in that late-November stage where it’s mostly gray and raining, and the transition feels messy and uncomfortable.

But the momentum is undeniable.

The reason this is my favorite season is that for the first time in human history, the "default" setting of male supremacy is being treated as a choice rather than a biological law. Once you see the "man behind the curtain," you can't un-see him. The curtain is wide open now.

What Happens Next?

The next phase isn't about flipping the script so women are "on top." That would just be a different version of the same broken system. The goal is to move toward a "season" of partnership.

Riane Eisler, in her seminal work The Chalice and the Blade, talks about "partnership models" versus "dominator models." We are moving—slowly, painfully—toward partnership. This means valuing care as much as commerce. It means valuing intuition as much as logic. It means realizing that a society that works for the most vulnerable among us actually works better for everyone.

If you want to lean into this season, start small.

Stop using language that reinforces old hierarchies. Stop apologizing for taking up space. Start expecting more from the men in your life and offering more support to the people around you who are trying to break these patterns.

Actionable Steps for the New Season:

  • Diversify your feed: Intentionally follow creators who challenge the gender binary and traditional power dynamics.
  • Practice "Active Allyship": If you see someone being talked over in a meeting, stop the conversation and say, "I want to hear the rest of what they were saying."
  • Invest in women and non-binary entrepreneurs: Put your money where your politics are. The patriarchy thrives on capital; moving that capital is a revolutionary act.
  • Normalize therapy for everyone: Breaking the cycle of "repressed masculinity" starts with mental health.

This isn't just a trend. It’s a systemic overhaul. And honestly? It’s about time. The old leaves had to fall eventually to make room for something that actually has a chance of surviving the future. Welcome to the crisp, cool air of change.