You've probably felt it. That sudden, white-hot flash of rage when a boss takes credit for your work or treats a "mandatory" weekend shift like a casual favor. It's a universal frustration, but Rupert Holmes—the man who, yes, actually wrote "The Piña Colada Song"—decided to take that workplace resentment and turn it into a literal curriculum. His book, Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide, is easily one of the most clever, genre-bending releases in recent years.
It isn't just a thriller. It’s a manual. Or at least, it pretends to be.
The premise is kinda brilliant. If you’re going to remove someone from this mortal coil, you should at least have the decency to do it well. Holmes introduces us to the McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts. "Applied arts," in this case, is a polite euphemism for the art of the "deletion." The school is hidden, elite, and incredibly expensive. But it doesn't just take anyone with a grudge and a checkbook. You have to prove that your target deserves it.
What Most People Get Wrong About the McMasters Guide
When people first hear about a murder your employer book, they usually expect a gritty, noir-style revenge flick in paper form. That’s not what this is. Honestly, it’s closer to Harry Potter but with poisoned blowdarts and a much higher body count. It's satirical. It's dry. The tone is deeply British in its wit, despite Holmes being an American-British polymath.
The school operates on a strict ethical code. This is the part that catches readers off guard. You aren't allowed to just kill someone because they chew their food too loudly or forgot your birthday. The McMasters Conservatory insists on four "Inquiries" before they even let you through the gates. Is this deletion necessary? Is the target a monster whose death will actually improve the world? Have you exhausted every other legal or social avenue?
Basically, the school sees itself as a cleaning service for humanity.
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The narrative follows three students: Cliff, Dulcie, and Guy. They all have bosses who are, quite frankly, human garbage. Cliff’s employer stole a life-saving medical invention. Dulcie’s is a Hollywood producer who is every bit as predatory as the headlines we see in the real world. Guy's target is a shipping tycoon who is essentially a Bond villain without the cool lair. Their journey through the "campus" is where the book really shines.
The Architecture of a Perfect Deletion
The "McMasters Guide" isn't just a catchy title; the book is structured like a textbook being read by a student. You get these interspersed lectures from the Dean, a character who is as charming as he is terrifying. He talks about "The Principles of Deletion" with the same gravitas a Harvard professor might use to discuss macroeconomics.
It’s hilarious. It’s also incredibly detailed.
Holmes spends a lot of time on the "how-to" aspect, but in a way that feels like a magic trick. He focuses on the "motive-less" crime. The idea is that if you have no reason to be suspected, you can't be caught. But at McMasters, they teach you that having a motive is fine, as long as the execution is so seamless that it looks like an act of God—or at least a very unfortunate accident involving a loose rug and a steep staircase.
They call it "The Deletion."
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The student experience at the conservatory is a mix of high-stakes testing and absurd extracurriculars. Imagine taking a class on how to mimic a heart attack using common household chemicals. Or learning how to stage a scene so that the police do the work for you. There’s a specific focus on "The Second-Hand Murder," where you set a series of events in motion that eventually leads to the target's demise without you being anywhere near the crime scene.
Why This Book Works So Well in the Current Economy
We are living in an era of extreme workplace burnout. The "quiet quitting" trend was just the tip of the iceberg. People feel exploited. They feel like cogs in a machine that doesn't care if they rust. Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide taps into that collective id. It’s pure wish fulfillment.
It’s also surprisingly sophisticated. Holmes doesn't just rely on the shock value of the title. He builds a world that feels lived-in. The history of the McMasters Conservatory stretches back centuries, with hints that some of the most famous "accidental" deaths in history were actually graduation projects for the school's alumni.
The pacing is erratic in a good way. Sometimes it lingers on the technicalities of a disguise, and then it suddenly lurches forward into a high-speed chase or a tense confrontation. It keeps you off balance. You're never quite sure if a character is safe, even within the walls of the school, because, well, everyone there is literally studying how to be a professional killer.
The Ethics of the Deletion
Is it wrong to root for people to commit murder? Probably. But Holmes makes it easy. The antagonists in this book are so irredeemable that you find yourself actively cheering for their "deletion."
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This brings up a fascinating point about the "Murder Your Employer" subgenre. We’ve seen it before in films like 9 to 5 or Horrible Bosses, but those were slapstick. They were about bumbling amateurs. The McMasters Guide is about the professionalization of grievance. It suggests that if the system won't provide justice, a private institution might.
It’s a dark thought.
But it’s one that resonates when the legal system feels rigged. The book explores the gap between what is "legal" and what is "just." Most of the employers being targeted have stayed strictly within the letter of the law while destroying lives. The Conservatory exists to fill that gap.
Actionable Takeaways for Your Reading List
If you’re planning on picking up the murder your employer book, or if you’ve already finished it and want more, here is how to actually engage with this kind of literature without ending up on a watchlist.
- Look for the "Easter Eggs": Rupert Holmes is a master of wordplay. The names of the characters, the locations, and even the "textbook" quotes often contain hidden puns or references to classic mystery literature.
- Compare to the Classics: If you enjoyed the tone of McMasters, look into the works of Edward Gorey or the darker short stories of Roald Dahl (specifically his "tales of the unexpected"). They share that same DNA of "polite cruelty."
- Analyze the Structure: Pay attention to how the "Manual" sections reflect the characters' personal growth. As Cliff becomes a better "deleter," his understanding of the Dean's lectures shifts from horror to appreciation.
- Check the Audio Version: If you haven't decided on a format yet, the audiobook is narrated by Neil Patrick Harris. He captures the "smug yet brilliant professor" vibe of the Dean perfectly. It adds an extra layer of immersion to the Conservatory experience.
The book doesn't end where you think it will. There are twists that rely on you paying attention to the very first chapter. It’s the kind of story that demands a second read just so you can see where the pieces were hidden in plain sight.
In a world full of cookie-cutter thrillers, Holmes has crafted something that feels genuinely fresh. It’s smart, it’s mean, and it’s deeply satisfying. Just maybe don't leave it on your desk at work if your boss doesn't have a sense of humor.
Final Practical Steps for Fans
- Read the "Volume One" Subtitle: The book is technically titled Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide (Vol 1). This implies a series. Keep an eye out for news regarding a sequel, as Holmes has hinted at expanding the curriculum.
- Explore the Author's Backlog: If you like the twisty nature of this plot, check out Holmes's Tony Award-winning musical The Mystery of Edwin Drood, where the audience gets to vote on who the killer is. He’s been playing with these themes for decades.
- Join the Community: There are burgeoning threads on platforms like Reddit and GoodReads specifically dedicated to "The McMasters Theories." Fans are trying to figure out which real-world historical figures might have been McMasters graduates based on the clues in the text.
- Note the Ethical Inquiries: Next time you’re frustrated at work, run through the Four Inquiries in your head. It’s a great psychological exercise for venting steam without, you know, actually committing a felony.
The genius of the murder your employer book isn't just in the killing; it's in the critique of the power structures that make us want to do it in the first place. Holmes has written a love letter to the disgruntled worker, wrapped in a blood-red ribbon of satire. Enjoy the "graduation," but remember: at McMasters, the only passing grade is getting away with it.