Why Masochism Is What It’s Called When You Like Pain (And Why It’s Not Always Sexual)

Why Masochism Is What It’s Called When You Like Pain (And Why It’s Not Always Sexual)

Pain is usually a warning. It’s the stove’s way of saying "move your hand" or the gym’s way of saying "maybe stop at eighty pounds." But for some people, that signal gets flipped. The sharp sting of a needle or the deep ache of a muscle doesn't just register as a threat; it actually feels... good. If you have ever wondered what is it called when you like pain, the scientific and clinical term you are looking for is masochism.

It’s a word that carries a lot of baggage. Most people hear "masochist" and immediately think of leather, whips, and late-night HBO specials. While sexual masochism is a very real thing, the spectrum of finding pleasure in discomfort is much wider than the bedroom. It’s in the runner who pushes through the "wall" until their lungs burn like fire. It’s in the person who eats a Carolina Reaper pepper just to feel their face melt. It’s even in the way some of us pick at scabs or press on a bruise just to feel that weird, localized throb.

The Brain’s Weird Relationship With "Good" Pain

Why do we do this? It seems evolutionarily stupid. Humans are hardwired to avoid damage. However, the neurobiology of pain and pleasure is basically a tangled mess of the same wires. When you experience pain, your brain doesn't just scream "Ouch!" It also releases a massive cocktail of chemicals to help you cope. We are talking about endorphins and dopamine. Endorphins are the body's natural opioids. They are structurally similar to morphine. Their job is to block pain signals, but a side effect is a rush of euphoria.

Dr. Paul Rozin, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, coined a term for this: "benign masochism." He looked at why we love things that should be unpleasant—like horror movies, sad songs, or extremely spicy food. His theory is that we get a thrill out of "mind over matter." Your body thinks it’s in danger, but your brain knows you’re actually safe. That gap creates a biological high. It’s the ultimate "I’m alive" feeling.

The biology is fascinating because the periaqueductal gray—a region in the brainstem—is a key player here. It's involved in both pain suppression and the reward circuit. For some, the reward side of the circuit is just more sensitive. It’s not that they don't feel the pain; it’s that the "reward" of the endorphin dump outweighs the "threat" of the sensation.

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Different Flavors of Finding Pleasure in the Hurt

When people ask what is it called when you like pain, they are often looking for a specific category. Not all "liking" is the same.

Sexual Masochism Disorder
This is the one people know best. In the DSM-5 (the manual used by psychologists), sexual masochism disorder involves recurrent and intense sexual arousal from being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer. It’s important to note the "disorder" part only applies if it causes significant distress or impairment in someone's life. For many in the BDSM community, it’s a consensual, controlled, and healthy way to explore sensation.

Emotional Masochism
This is a bit more "under the radar." Have you ever known someone who seems to seek out toxic relationships? Or someone who stays in a miserable job because they subconsciously feel they deserve the struggle? This isn't about physical stings. It's about a psychological pattern where a person finds a strange sense of comfort or identity in being the victim. It often stems from early childhood trauma where love and pain were inextricably linked by a caregiver.

Athletic Masochism
Ask any marathon runner about the "pain cave." They talk about it with a weird kind of reverence. In the world of high-performance sports, pain is a metric of progress. If it doesn't hurt, you aren't growing. This is a socially celebrated form of masochism. We build statues of people who pushed their bodies to the point of literal collapse.

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The Chemistry of the "Sting"

Let’s talk about tattoos for a second. There is a reason people say they are "addictive." The process of getting a tattoo is, by all definitions, a controlled medical trauma. Dozens of needles are puncturing your skin every second. For the first twenty minutes, it usually sucks. But then, something shifts. Your brain realizes you aren't going to stop, so it floods the zone with endorphins. Suddenly, the pain becomes a warm, buzzing vibration. Some people find that state incredibly meditative. It’s a "forced" presence. You can’t think about your taxes or your ex-boyfriend when a needle is dragging across your ribs. You can only be right there.

This is closely related to the "runner's high." It’s a survival mechanism that we’ve hacked for recreation. Back when we were chasing mammoths, we needed to be able to keep running even if our ankles ached. Evolution gave us a built-in pharmacy. Today, we use that pharmacy to get through a 6:00 AM CrossFit class.

When Does Liking Pain Become a Problem?

While "benign masochism" is mostly harmless, there is a dark side. Sometimes, seeking out pain is a way to cope with overwhelming emotional numbness. This is often seen in cases of non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI).

When someone is dealing with intense depression or "emotional anesthesia," physical pain can feel like a way to "wake up" or ground themselves. It’s a physical manifestation of an internal scream. In these cases, the person doesn't necessarily "like" the pain in a pleasurable way, but they prefer it to the void of feeling nothing at all. It’s a regulatory strategy, albeit a dangerous one.

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If the desire for pain is driven by a need to punish oneself or to escape reality, it usually points toward a need for clinical intervention. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is often used here to help people find "cold" sensations (like holding an ice cube) that provide a sensory shock without causing permanent tissue damage.

The Role of Control

The biggest differentiator between "creepy" and "cool" when it comes to masochism is control. If someone punches you in the face at a grocery store, you aren't going to enjoy the endorphin rush. You’re going to be traumatized.

But if you step into a boxing ring and choose to spar? That’s different.

The human brain loves agency. When we choose the pain—whether it’s a spicy wing challenge, a deep-tissue massage that feels like being tenderized, or a difficult mountain climb—we are the masters of the experience. We are proving to ourselves that we can endure. It's a form of resilience training. It makes the world feel smaller and more manageable.

Actionable Insights for the "Pain-Curious"

If you’ve realized that you actually enjoy certain types of discomfort, you don’t need to worry that you’re "broken." It’s a remarkably common human trait. Here is how to navigate those feelings safely and constructively:

  1. Audit your "Pain Profile." Figure out where you sit on the spectrum. Do you like the "productive" pain of exercise? The "sensory" pain of spicy food or tattoos? Or the "emotional" pain of difficult movies? Understanding your brand of masochism helps you keep it in a healthy box.
  2. Watch for the "Compulsion Loop." If you find yourself needing more and more intensity to feel the same "high," you might be chasing the dopamine rather than the experience. Take breaks. Let your nervous system reset.
  3. Check your "Self-Talk." If your enjoyment of pain is linked to thoughts like "I deserve this because I’m bad," that is emotional masochism. That’s something to bring up with a therapist rather than leaning into.
  4. Use "Safe" Stressors. If you need a sensory reset, try high-intensity interval training (HIIT) or cold plunges. These provide the massive physiological "rebound" of pleasure following discomfort without the risks associated with more dangerous behaviors.
  5. Communicate in Relationships. If your interest in masochism is interpersonal, read up on BDSM safety, consent, and "aftercare." The community has very strict protocols (like "Safe, Sane, and Consensual") to ensure that the exploration of pain remains a positive experience for everyone involved.

Understanding what is it called when you like pain is the first step in demystifying a very normal, if slightly "glitchy," part of the human experience. Whether it’s the burn of the gym or the sting of a tattoo, your brain is just trying to make sense of a chaotic world by finding the "good" in the "bad." Just keep an eye on the "why" behind the "what," and you’ll be fine.