You’ve heard it before. Maybe it was on a coffee mug or during a particularly earnest therapy session. The phrase life is good but it can be better sounds like one of those annoying "toxic positivity" traps at first glance, doesn’t it? It feels like you’re being told to never be satisfied, to keep running on that hedonic treadmill until your knees give out.
But honestly, that’s not what’s happening here.
The reality of the human condition is that we are biologically wired for "more." Not necessarily more stuff—though Amazon certainly hopes so—but more growth, more connection, and more understanding. When people say life is good but it can be better, they aren’t usually complaining. They’re acknowledging a fundamental truth about psychological well-being: contentment and ambition aren't enemies. They’re actually best friends.
Think about it. If you’re totally miserable, you don't have the energy to make things "better." You’re just trying to survive. You need that baseline of "life is good" to provide the fuel for the "better" part. It’s the difference between fixing a broken car and upgrading a reliable one.
The Paradox of Choice and the "Good Enough" Trap
There is this famous study by psychologist Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice. He talks about "maximizers" versus "satisficers." Maximizers are the people who need the absolute best version of everything—the best job, the best partner, the best Greek yogurt. They often end up miserable because they’re constantly looking over their shoulder. Satisficers, on the other hand, have a criteria and stick to it once it’s met.
So, how does this fit with the idea that life is good but it can be better?
Well, the "better" we’re talking about isn’t about finding a shiny new toy. It’s about refinement. It’s about the 1% gains that James Clear popularised in Atomic Habits. You aren't throwing away a "good" life to find a "perfect" one. You’re taking the solid foundation you’ve already built and asking, "What happens if I’m 5% more present with my kids?" or "What if I finally fix that nagging back pain I’ve ignored for three years?"
💡 You might also like: Why Every Mom and Daughter Photo You Take Actually Matters
It’s about optimization, not replacement.
Why We Get Stuck in "Good Enough"
Most of us live in the "Land of Okay." It’s a dangerous place. Everything is fine. The job pays the bills, the relationship is stable, the health is... well, you aren't in the hospital. This is where the sentiment of life is good but it can be better becomes a vital wake-up call.
Social psychologists often point to the "comfort zone" as a place of stagnant stress. It’s not actually comfortable; it’s just familiar. We stay because the "better" feels risky. What if I try to make it better and I break the "good" I already have? That’s a valid fear. But research into neuroplasticity suggests that our brains actually crave the novelty of improvement.
Take the concept of "Flow," popularized by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. To achieve a flow state—that feeling where time disappears and you’re fully immersed in an activity—the challenge must slightly exceed your current skill level. If life is just "good" and never "better," you lose the flow. You get bored. And boredom is the precursor to a mid-life crisis.
Relationships: The Ultimate "Better" Frontier
Let’s get real about your social life for a second. Most of us have "good" friends. People we grab a beer with or text about the game. But according to the Harvard Study of Adult Development—the longest-running study on happiness in history—it’s not just having friends that matters. It’s the quality of those relationships.
Director of the study, Robert Waldinger, makes it clear: loneliness kills. You can have a "good" social life on paper—1,000 Facebook friends and a busy calendar—but it can be better. Improving the depth of your conversations, being more vulnerable, or setting firmer boundaries. These are the "better" tweaks that actually extend your lifespan.
📖 Related: Sport watch water resist explained: why 50 meters doesn't mean you can dive
It’s kind of wild when you think about it. Just by moving from "fine" to "connected," you’re statistically likely to live longer.
The Physicality of Improvement
We can't talk about life being better without mentioning the body. You don't need to be an Olympic athlete. But most people accept a baseline of "good" health that is actually just "not being sick."
- Improving sleep hygiene by just 30 minutes.
- Moving from 2,000 steps to 7,000.
- Swapping one processed meal for a whole-food option.
These aren't radical life overhauls. They are the "can be better" iterations. Dr. Peter Attia, a longevity expert, often talks about the "Marginal Decades." He argues that we should be training now for the person we want to be in our 80s. If your life is good now, that’s great—but if you want it to be better when you’re 85, you have to do the work today.
The "Better" Doesn't Have to Be External
Sometimes the "better" is just your perspective. Existentialism teaches us that we are the architects of our own meaning. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning that we can’t always control our circumstances, but we can control our response.
Your life might be objectively "good" by societal standards—money, house, family—but if your internal monologue is a jerk, it can definitely be better. Mental health is perhaps the biggest area where this phrase applies. You don't have to be in a crisis to go to therapy. You don't have to be depressed to practice mindfulness.
It’s about moving from "not sad" to "truly flourishing."
👉 See also: Pink White Nail Studio Secrets and Why Your Manicure Isn't Lasting
Practical Ways to Move From Good to Better
If you’re feeling like you’re ready to level up without blowing up your current life, here is how you actually do it. No fluff.
Audit your energy leaks.
Spend three days tracking what drains you. Is it a specific person? An app? A cluttered desk? If life is good but it can be better, the fastest way to get there is by removing the "bad" rather than adding more "good." Subtracting the negatives often has a higher ROI than adding positives.
Identify your "Upper Limit Problem."
Gay Hendricks wrote a book called The Big Leap. He argues that we all have an internal thermostat for how much success or happiness we allow ourselves to feel. When things get "too good," we self-sabotage to get back to our comfort zone. Recognize when you’re doing this. Lean into the discomfort of things going well.
Micro-Habits over Macro-Goals.
Don't try to "fix" your life. Just pick one tiny thing. Maybe you want your mornings to be better. Don't wake up at 5:00 AM if you hate it. Just stop looking at your phone for the first 10 minutes after you wake up. That’s it. That’s the "better."
Audit your inputs.
What are you reading? Who are you listening to? If your life is good, but you spend four hours a day doomscrolling, it can be better. Curate your digital environment like you curate your home. If an account makes you feel "less than," unfollow it. If a podcast makes you think, subscribe.
Practice Active Gratitude (The Right Way).
Don't just list three things you're grateful for. That becomes a chore. Instead, pick one thing that happened today and write down why it happened and what it says about your life. This turns a "good" moment into a "better" memory.
The point of all this isn't to reach a finish line. There is no "Best." There is only the process of moving from a solid "Good" to a slightly more refined "Better." It’s a lifelong project.
Start by looking at one area of your life today—just one—and ask yourself: "If I was 10% more intentional here, what would change?" That is the only question you really need to answer. Move toward the better, but don't forget to enjoy the good while you're on the way.