You're sitting there, staring at a screen or a wall, feeling like the weight of the world is basically crushing your chest. We’ve all been there. Someone pats you on the back and says that classic line: it just takes some time everything will be alright. Honestly? In the moment, it feels like the most annoying, dismissive thing anyone could possibly say. It sounds like a Hallmark card written by someone who has never actually had a bad day.
But here is the weird thing. They're actually right.
It’s not just a platitude. It’s biology. It’s neurology. It’s the way our brains are literally wired to survive the "impossible" moments of our lives. When we talk about how it just takes some time everything will be alright, we aren't talking about magic. We are talking about the physiological process of emotional regulation and the slow, grinding gears of neuroplasticity.
Life hits hard. Then it gets better. Usually, we just don't stay still long enough to let the healing start.
The Chemistry of Why We Feel Like We Won't Be Alright
When you're in the middle of a crisis—a breakup, a job loss, a grief that feels like it’s swallowing you whole—your amygdala is screaming. That’s the almond-shaped part of your brain responsible for your fight-or-flight response. It doesn't care about "time." It cares about the tiger in the room. Except there is no tiger; there’s just a mounting pile of bills or a broken heart.
The stress hormone cortisol floods your system. It makes your heart race and your thoughts loop in a circle. You feel stuck. You think this feeling is permanent.
But it isn't.
According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist, the chemical process of an emotion only lasts about 90 seconds. If you feel an emotion for longer than that, it’s because you are choosing to stay in that loop. Now, that sounds harsh, right? But the "time" people talk about is actually the period it takes for your brain to stop re-triggering that 90-second loop. Eventually, your prefrontal cortex—the logical part of your brain—reasserts control.
This is why the phrase it just takes some time everything will be alright holds water. You are waiting for your neurochemistry to balance out. You are waiting for the cortisol to flush. It’s a literal detox.
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Neuroplasticity: The Brain’s Ability to Rewrite the Script
Think about the last time you were devastated. Maybe it was years ago. At the time, you probably couldn't imagine a day where you wouldn't feel that specific ache. Yet, here you are. You survived.
Your brain literally changed its physical structure to accommodate that survival. This is neuroplasticity.
When we go through a major life shift, our neural pathways—the "roads" our thoughts travel on—get blocked or destroyed. It feels like being lost in the woods without a map. But as time passes, your brain starts building new roads. It creates new associations. It finds new ways to experience joy.
Research from the University of California, Berkeley, suggests that our brains are incredibly resilient, but they require a "refractory period." That’s just a fancy way of saying a break. If you try to force yourself to be "alright" on day one, you’re fighting your own biology. You have to let the "time" part happen so the "alright" part can follow.
Why We Hate Hearing It
Let’s be real. If you’re grieving, hearing it just takes some time everything will be alright feels like a slap in the face. It feels like the person is saying your pain doesn't matter because it’s temporary.
But temporal distance is the only way to gain perspective.
There’s a concept in psychology called the "Impact Bias." Basically, humans are terrible at predicting how long or how intensely an event will affect them. We overestimate how miserable we will be a year after a tragedy. We underestimate our own grit.
We think the pain is a permanent mountain. It’s actually a weather system. Weather passes. Mountains stay. Your trauma might be the mountain, but the suffering? That’s the storm. And storms eventually run out of rain.
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The Role of Adaptation Level Phenomenon
Have you ever noticed how people who win the lottery and people who suffer a major injury eventually return to a similar level of happiness?
Psychologists call this the Adaptation Level Phenomenon. We have a "set point" for happiness. When something terrible happens, we drop below that point. When something great happens, we spike above it.
But "time" is the equalizer.
Over months and years, your brain recalibrates. What felt like an unbearable tragedy becomes your "new normal," and your brain starts looking for ways to find satisfaction within that new context. It’s why people can find peace after losing everything. It’s not that the thing they lost stopped being important. It’s that their brain adapted.
Real Examples of the "Time" Factor in Action
Look at the 2008 financial crisis. Thousands of people lost their homes. In the moment, the suicide rates and depression levels spiked. It felt like the end of the world for an entire generation. Fast forward a decade, and many of those same people had started new careers, found new places to live, and looked back at that period as a "hard chapter," not the whole book.
Or consider the grieving process after losing a spouse. The "Year of Magical Thinking," as Joan Didion famously called it. The first year is a blur of pain. The second year is often harder because the shock has worn off. But by the third or fourth year? The brain has built enough new memories and routines that the "alright" begins to settle in. Not a perfect "alright." A scarred, quiet "alright."
But it is alright.
How to Actually Wait Out the Clock
So, how do you deal with the "waiting" part? Because let’s face it, waiting is the hardest part of the human experience.
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- Stop Checking the Wound. If you scrape your knee and pick at the scab every five minutes, it won't heal. It’ll scar worse. Emotional healing is the same. If you’re constantly stalking an ex or ruminating on a mistake, you’re resetting the 90-second chemical clock.
- Micro-Victories. Don't look at "everything will be alright" as a destination. Look at it as a series of small wins. Did you eat today? Did you shower? Did you laugh at a dumb meme for three seconds? Those are the building blocks.
- The Rule of 10s. When you're spiraling, ask: Will this matter in 10 minutes? 10 months? 10 years? Most of what keeps us up at night won't even make the "10 months" cut.
- Physical Movement. If your mind is stuck, move your body. It sounds like cliché advice, but exercise literally burns off the cortisol that keeps you in the "I’m not alright" loop. It forces the "time" to move faster, at least perceptually.
The Nuance: "Alright" Doesn't Mean "The Same"
One of the biggest misconceptions about the idea that it just takes some time everything will be alright is the definition of "alright."
People think "alright" means going back to the way things were before the mess happened. It doesn't. You are never going back. You are a different person now. The "alright" is a new version of you.
It’s like Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. The pot is still broken. But it’s put back together, and the cracks make it stronger and more valuable. The "time" is the gold glue.
You might have a limp. You might have a cynical streak you didn't have before. You might be more guarded. But you will be functional. You will be able to feel the sun on your face without feeling guilty about it. You will be able to plan a future.
What to Do Right Now
If you are in the thick of it, stop trying to solve the rest of your life. You can't. Your brain isn't in a state to make long-term decisions anyway.
Focus on the next hour. Then the hour after that.
The phrase it just takes some time everything will be alright isn't a promise that the problem will vanish. It’s a promise that you will outgrow the problem. You are a biological machine designed for survival. You have a 100% track record of making it through your worst days so far.
The clock is ticking, whether you want it to or not. And that is actually the best news you could get today.
Actionable Steps for Emotional Resilience
- Limit Ruminating: Set a timer for 15 minutes a day to "worry" or "grieve." When the timer is up, you have to do something physical—clean a dish, take a walk, or call a friend about something totally unrelated.
- Document the Shift: Keep a one-sentence journal. Just one sentence about how you felt today. In three months, read back. You will be shocked at how much the "intensity" of your pain has naturally decreased without you even trying.
- Change Your Environment: If you’re stuck in a loop, move to a different room. Your brain associates physical spaces with emotional states. Sometimes just sitting on the porch instead of the couch breaks the neural feedback loop.
- Sleep: It’s the only time your brain can truly process and "file" emotional data. If you aren't sleeping, you aren't healing. Prioritize it like your life depends on it, because your mental health definitely does.