Ever been in a meeting where everyone is obsessing over how to fix a leaking boat, but nobody thinks to ask why we’re even in the water? It’s a common trap. We get so bogged down in the "how" that we forget the "why." That’s where the phrase i have a better question comes into play. It isn't just a pivot; it’s a radical act of reframing that can save companies from bankruptcy and individuals from years of wasted effort.
Most of us are trained to be answer-machines. From kindergarten through university, the gold star goes to the person with the quickest reply. But life doesn't always need a quick reply. Sometimes, the initial question is just plain wrong.
The Art of Question Reframing
Reframing is a psychological concept where you change the conceptual or emotional viewpoint in relation to how a situation is experienced. When someone says, "i have a better question," they are essentially forcing a reframe.
Think about the classic "slow elevator" problem cited by organizational psychologist Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg in the Harvard Business Review. When tenants complain that an elevator is too slow, the standard response is to look for a faster motor. You might spend thousands on engineering. But the "better question" isn't "how do we make the elevator faster?" It’s "how do we make the wait less annoying?" The solution? Put mirrors in the hallway. People get distracted looking at themselves, and the complaints stop. It costs fifty bucks.
That’s the power of the pivot.
Why Our Brains Hate Better Questions
Biologically, we are wired for closure. It’s called "Cognitive Closure." Our brains want to resolve ambiguity as fast as possible because uncertainty feels like a threat. When you interrupt a brainstorming session to say i have a better question, you are actually introducing more uncertainty. It’s uncomfortable.
You’ve probably felt that tension in the room. The air gets thick. People want to stay on the path they’ve already started walking down because of the "Sunk Cost Fallacy." We’ve already spent twenty minutes talking about the color of the app's button; we don't want to hear that we might not even need an app.
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But if you look at the most successful innovations in the last century, they didn't come from better answers. They came from someone refusing to answer the original prompt.
- Netflix didn't ask: "How do we make video rental stores more efficient?" They asked: "Why do people have to go to a store at all?"
- Airbnb didn't ask: "How do we build cheaper hotels?" They asked: "Why can't people just use the empty rooms they already have?"
When to Use the Pivot
Using this phrase is a bit of a social gamble. You don't want to be the "actually" person who derails every conversation for the sake of feeling smart. Context matters. Honestly, if you use it at a dinner party to avoid talking about your friend's new diet, you’re just being a jerk.
In a professional setting, however, it’s a superpower. You should look for the "Pivot Point" when:
- The team is circling the same three mediocre ideas.
- The solution seems way too expensive or complex for the problem.
- The goal of the project seems disconnected from the actual needs of the customer.
I once worked with a marketing team that was obsessed with "how do we get more followers on X?" They were burning through their budget on ads. I had to stop and say, i have a better question: "Why do we want followers if they aren't buying the product?" It turned out their conversion rate from social media was near zero. They were chasing a vanity metric while the business was starving.
The Psychological Safety Barrier
You can't just drop a "better question" into a toxic environment. If people are afraid of looking stupid, they will never challenge the status quo. Google’s Project Aristotle found that "psychological safety" was the number one predictor of team success.
In a safe environment, saying i have a better question is seen as a contribution. In a fear-based environment, it’s seen as a challenge to authority. If you’re a leader, you have to model this. You have to be the one to say, "I think I’m asking the wrong thing here. Does anyone have a better question?"
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Moving Beyond the Surface
The problem is that our culture values "decisiveness" over "deliberation." We reward the manager who makes a firm choice, even if it’s a choice to go in the wrong direction. We’re basically addicted to movement, even if it’s just running in circles.
Hal Gregersen, author of Questions Are the Answer, suggests that we should hold "Question Bursts." Instead of brainstorming solutions, spend ten minutes just writing down questions about the problem. No answers allowed. It’s harder than it sounds. Your brain will screaming to solve things. Resist it.
By the end of ten minutes, the original question usually looks pretty shallow. You’ll find that the real issue is buried three or four layers deep.
Actionable Steps for Better Questioning
Stop trying to be the smartest person in the room with the fastest answer. It’s a low-level game. If you want to actually change the trajectory of your work or your life, start practicing the pivot.
Step 1: Identify the "Dead End." If you’ve been talking about a problem for thirty minutes and haven't felt a spark of excitement, you’re probably asking the wrong question.
Step 2: Use the "Why-How" Ladder. If you are stuck on a "How" (How do I get a promotion?), move up the ladder to "Why" (Why do I want this promotion? Is it for money or for status?). If you’re stuck on a vague "Why," move down to a specific "How."
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Step 3: State the Assumptions. Every question has built-in assumptions. If I ask "How can we sell more of this product?", I am assuming the product is worth selling. Challenge that. "Is this product actually solving a problem people have?" is a much better question.
Step 4: Change the Actor. If the question is "How can I do this?", try "How can we do this?" or "How would our competitor do this?" Changing the perspective often reveals the flaw in the original logic.
The next time you’re in a room where the conversation feels like it’s hitting a brick wall, take a breath. Don't add another brick. Just lean back and say, "Wait. i have a better question." You might be surprised at how fast the wall disappears.
Effective questioning isn't about being contrarian. It's about being precise. We live in a world of infinite information and finite time. Spending that time answering the wrong questions is the fastest way to mediocrity. Real growth happens when you have the courage to stop the clock and redefine the goal.
Focus on the inquiry, not just the result. The result of a great question is usually a better life.