It is a strange thing to realize that a song about the casual contemplation of murder has become a staple of wholesome internet fandom. Honestly, if you’d told the Scissor Sisters back in 2006 that their jaunty, piano-driven track I Can't Decide would eventually soundtrack thousands of TikTok edits involving animated cats and fictional serial killers, they might’ve laughed. Or maybe they wouldn't have been surprised at all. The band always operated on a frequency that combined high-camp glam rock with a sinister undercurrent that most pop acts were too scared to touch.
The song didn't start as a viral sensation. It was a standout track on their second studio album, Ta-Dah, nestled among disco-inflected hits like "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'." But there was something uniquely sharp about it. It’s a catchy tune. It’s also deeply morbid. That friction is exactly why it has survived for two decades while other mid-2000s hits have faded into the background noise of nostalgia.
The Doctor Who Effect and the First Wave of Fame
Most people of a certain age first encountered I Can't Decide during the third season finale of the revived Doctor Who. In the episode "Last of the Time Lords," the Master—played with a manic, scenery-chewing brilliance by John Simm—uses the song as a literal soundtrack for his psychological torture of the Doctor. It was a masterstroke of music supervision.
Seeing a genocidal Time Lord dance around a spaceship deck while singing along to lyrics about whether to "bury you" or "keep you as a mascot" solidified the song’s identity. It became the definitive "villain song." This wasn't just a coincidence; the song’s structure mimics a vaudeville performance, making it the perfect vehicle for a character who views cruelty as a form of entertainment. Before the era of algorithmic discovery, this TV placement was the primary engine behind the song's cult status. It proved that the track worked best when paired with someone we aren't supposed to like, yet can't stop watching.
Why the Song Structure Works So Well
Musically, the track is a bit of an anomaly. It’s short. It clocks in at under three minutes. It doesn't overstay its welcome, which is likely why it's so easy to loop.
The song relies on a "stomp-clap" rhythm that feels almost like a nursery rhyme. This is the secret sauce. By using a bright, major-key melody and a bouncy tempo, the Scissor Sisters created a massive cognitive dissonance with the lyrics. Jake Shears delivers lines about "shackling you in the cellar" with a vocal fry and a wink that suggests he’s having the time of his life. It’s camp in its purest form—the juxtaposition of the horrific and the fabulous.
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The Lyrics as a Character Study
When you look at the text, I Can't Decide isn't actually about a killer. Well, not necessarily. It’s about a toxic, obsessive relationship where the power dynamic is completely skewed. It’s a love song written by someone who has lost their mind.
- "I can't decide whether you should live or die."
- "You'll probably go to hell, though you live through it well."
- "I'll keep you as a mascot."
These aren't just edgy lines; they describe a specific type of possession. The narrator is so bored by their own power over the other person that the only thing left to do is debate their ultimate fate. It’s cynical. It’s dark. It's also incredibly relatable to anyone who has ever been in a relationship that felt like a psychological chess match.
The TikTok and Animation Meme Renaissance
Fast forward to the 2020s. The song experienced a massive second life through "Animation Memes" and TikTok trends. If you search for the song today, you won’t just find the original music video. You’ll find thousands of fan-made animations featuring characters from Hazbin Hotel, Five Nights at Freddy's, or various anime series.
Why this song? Why now?
Digital creators love high-contrast audio. The "I Can't Decide" lyrics provide a ready-made storyboard for animators. The "live or die" choice offers a perfect "beat drop" moment for a visual transformation. It's short enough for a Reel but complex enough to allow for sophisticated character acting. The internet has a strange obsession with "Tumblr Sexymen"—villainous, skinny, slightly unhinged male characters—and this song is their national anthem.
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It’s fascinating to see how Gen Z and Gen Alpha have stripped the song of its 2000s disco-revival context and turned it into a universal shorthand for "unhinged energy." It doesn't matter that the Scissor Sisters haven't released an album in years. The song has become bigger than the band. It’s a piece of digital folklore now.
Comparing "I Can't Decide" to Other Dark Pop Hits
To understand its staying power, you have to look at its peers. Around the same time, we had songs like "Pumped Up Kicks" or Lily Allen’s "Smile." Both deal with dark themes over upbeat music.
However, "Pumped Up Kicks" is social commentary, and "Smile" is a revenge fantasy. I Can't Decide is different because it lacks a moral compass. It doesn't ask for your sympathy. It doesn't explain its motives. It just exists in a space of playful malice. That lack of a "lesson" or a "message" makes it much more flexible for creative use. It can be funny, scary, or tragic depending on the visuals you put with it.
The Legacy of the Scissor Sisters
The Scissor Sisters were always too weird for the American mainstream to fully embrace, despite being superstars in the UK. They were queer, they were loud, and they drew from 70s glam in a way that felt alien to the post-grunge landscape of the mid-2000s.
"I Can't Decide" represents the peak of their songwriting ability—the moment where they managed to package radical subversion into a three-minute pop nugget. It’s a testament to the songwriting of Jake Shears and Babydaddy. They understood that the best pop music always has a bit of dirt under its fingernails.
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People often ask if the band will ever return. While they’ve been on an indefinite hiatus since 2012, their influence is everywhere. You can hear the DNA of the Scissor Sisters in the work of artists like Lil Nas X, Troye Sivan, and even some of the more theatrical moments in Billie Eilish’s discography. They paved the way for "theatrical pop" to be taken seriously again.
How to Use "I Can't Decide" in Modern Content
If you're a creator looking to tap into the enduring popularity of this track, there are a few things to keep in mind. The song is heavily copyrighted, of course, so direct monetization on YouTube can be tricky without a license. However, on platforms like TikTok and Instagram, the song is readily available in the music libraries.
The "trend" isn't about the dance anymore; it's about the edit. Focus on:
- The Switch: Using the transition between the upbeat verse and the darker chorus to show a change in character.
- The Lip-Sync: The "Oh, I could bury you alive" line requires a very specific type of performance—over-the-top and theatrical.
- Nostalgia Baiting: Referencing the Doctor Who connection is a guaranteed way to engage the sci-fi community.
Actionable Insights for Fans and Creators
To get the most out of the I Can't Decide phenomenon, don't just treat it as a background track.
- Deep Dive the Album: If you only know this song, listen to the full Ta-Dah album. Tracks like "Land of a Thousand Words" show the band's range beyond just the "campy" stuff.
- Study the Vaudeville Influence: The song’s structure is a masterclass in how to use musical theater tropes in pop music. If you're a songwriter, look at how they use the piano to drive the narrative.
- Respect the Context: While the song is used for many characters today, its roots in queer club culture and the 2000s New York scene are what give it that specific "edge." Understanding that history makes the "meanings" behind the song much richer.
Ultimately, "I Can't Decide" persists because it captures a feeling we don't often see in pop: the joy of being a little bit wicked. It’s a cathartic release. In a world of polished, "relatable" influencers, there’s something refreshing about a song that just wants to shack you in the cellar and see what happens. It’s a masterpiece of the macabre, and it isn't going anywhere.