It is 2:00 AM. You are staring at your phone, scrolling through photos of someone you definitely shouldn't be thinking about while your partner sleeps soundly in the next room. That heavy, sinking feeling in your gut? That is exactly what Roland Kent LaVoie—better known to the world as Lobo—captured in 1973.
The song how can i tell her about you is basically the anthem for the emotionally conflicted. It isn’t just a catchy soft-rock tune from the seventies. Honestly, it’s a brutal, three-minute confession that most people are too scared to make out loud.
While the song reached number 22 on the Billboard Hot 100, its legacy has far outlasted its chart position. You hear it in grocery stores, on "yacht rock" playlists, and in late-night TikTok covers. There is something about that gentle acoustic guitar paired with a guy admitting he's basically living a double life that just sticks.
The Messy True Story Behind the Lyrics
People usually assume this is just a generic "cheating song." You know the type. Man meets woman, man forgets he has a wife, man writes a song. But the actual backstory is way more complicated and, frankly, a bit tragic.
Lobo has mentioned in interviews that the song was born from a period of intense personal upheaval. He had been with a girlfriend for five years—a long time in the music business. Then, he met someone else and had a "quick deal" wedding. It was one of those impulsive moves where you think a fresh start will fix everything. Spoiler: It didn't.
The real kicker? While he was grappling with these new feelings, he heard news of a plane crash in the Everglades. His ex-girlfriend was a flight attendant. For a terrifying stretch of time, he thought she had died in that crash.
"I was spending all my time thinking about her because we had been a close thing for years," Lobo later explained. That specific brand of grief and guilt is what poured into the lyrics. It wasn't just about "wanting" someone else; it was about the impossible task of explaining to a loyal partner that your heart is elsewhere.
Breaking Down the Lyrics: Why They Sting
The opening lines are almost cruel in their honesty.
She knows when I'm lonesome. She cries when I'm sad.
He’s describing the perfect partner. Someone who is empathetic, supportive, and completely "in tune" with him. That’s what makes the hook—how can i tell her about you—so devastating.
The Conflict of "The Good Woman"
The song sets up a massive moral dilemma. Usually, in pop music, the "other woman" is a villain or the "current partner" is a nag. Lobo doesn't do that. He makes the current partner sound like a saint.
🔗 Read more: Why You Should Listen to a-ha Take on Me Again (And What You Missed)
- She handles his "troubles."
- She "makes them all seem right."
- She is the person he relies on to get through the day.
By making the partner "good," the guilt becomes ten times heavier. If she were mean or distant, leaving would be easy. But she’s wonderful. And that is the trap.
The Secret World
Then you have the chorus. The shift from talking about the partner to talking to the new love interest. It’s intimate. It feels like we’re eavesdropping on a private conversation.
When he asks, "How can I tell her about you?" he isn't actually looking for an answer. He knows there isn't one. There is no version of this conversation that doesn't end in someone's world falling apart.
Why This Song Is Massive in Asia (and Everywhere Else)
If you look at the streaming data for how can i tell her about you today, the numbers are wild. We’re talking hundreds of millions of plays. A huge chunk of that comes from Southeast Asia—specifically the Philippines, Indonesia, and Malaysia.
Why? Because Lobo’s style—often called "Of a Simple Man"—hits a specific cultural chord. It’s melodic, it’s easy to sing at karaoke (a national pastime in the Philippines), and it deals with "forbidden" or "complicated" love in a way that feels respectful rather than raunchy.
It’s "soft rock" in the truest sense. The production isn't aggressive. There are no screaming guitar solos. It’s just a man, his feelings, and a melody that feels like a warm blanket—even if the lyrics are about to give you an existential crisis.
Real-World Impact: Can You Actually Tell Her?
Psychologically speaking, the song describes a state often called "limerence" or just plain old emotional infidelity. Relationship experts like Esther Perel often talk about the "shadow" in a relationship. This song is the sound of that shadow.
If you find yourself relating to how can i tell her about you a little too much, here is the reality check:
- The "Good Partner" deserves the truth. The song emphasizes how she "makes things right." Using someone as an emotional anchor while you’re drifting toward someone else is a recipe for long-term trauma for both of you.
- The "New Love" is often a fantasy. In the song, the new person is a mystery. We don't know her. She represents the "what if." Often, once the secret is out, the magic of the new relationship vanishes because it was fueled by the secrecy itself.
- Guilt doesn't go away by singing. Lobo’s song ends without a resolution. In real life, you eventually have to stop singing and start talking.
A Legacy of Soft Confessions
Lobo (Kent LaVoie) eventually moved to Nashville and leaned into country music, but he never quite escaped the shadow of his early 70s hits. And honestly? He shouldn't want to.
Songs like "Me and You and a Dog Named Boo" or "I'd Love You to Want Me" are great, but how can i tell her about you is the one that feels the most human. It’s flawed. It’s messy. It’s a guy admitting he is kind of a jerk, but he’s a jerk who feels everything very deeply.
Next time you hear that familiar acoustic intro, don't just hum along. Listen to the desperation in the lyrics. It’s a reminder that even in the "innocent" seventies, love was just as confusing as it is in the age of dating apps and "it's complicated" statuses.
If you're looking to dive deeper into this era of music, check out the rest of the Calumet album. It’s a masterclass in 1970s songwriting that doesn’t need bells and whistles to make you feel something. You might find that the "simple man" had some pretty complex things to say.
Next Steps for Music Fans:
Listen to the 1973 original version alongside the "Re-recorded" or "Reimagined" versions released in recent years. You can clearly hear the age and experience in Kent LaVoie’s voice in the later takes, which adds an entirely new layer of regret to the lyrics. Pay attention to the subtle differences in the guitar phrasing; the original has a raw, folk-pop simplicity that modern production often tries too hard to "fix."