You know that feeling when you walk into a room and just... shrink? Maybe it's a job interview where the panel looks like they’ve never smiled in their lives, or a high-end gym where everyone seems to have a six-pack except you. We've all been there. It’s that instinctive urge to play small. But there's a specific psychological pivot—basically a mental 180—that changes the entire energy of the room. You have to hit them with the flex.
Now, wait. I’m not talking about popping a bicep or being a loudmouth jerk. Not even close.
When people say "hit them with the flex" in 2026, they’re usually talking about a radical display of competence, self-assurance, or a "mic drop" moment that ends the debate before it even starts. It’s about owning your space. Honestly, it’s the difference between asking for permission to exist and making people glad you showed up.
It’s subtle. It’s loud. It’s everything in between.
The Evolution of the Flex: From Gym Floors to Boardrooms
Originally, "flexing" was literal. Bodybuilders like Arnold Schwarzenegger back in the 70s would "hit a flex" to show off the work they put in under the iron. It was a visual proof of labor. But language is weird, and slang is even weirder. Over the last decade, thanks to hip-hop culture and social media, "flexing" migrated from the physical to the metaphorical.
Social media kind of ruined it for a while. We saw the "weird flex but okay" era, where people bragged about things that weren't actually impressive. Like, cool, you haven't drank water in three days? Weird flex.
But the hit them with the flex mindset we see today is different. It’s more about "quiet luxury" of the mind. It’s when someone doubts your ability, and instead of arguing, you simply produce a result so undeniable that they have no choice but to sit down.
Why Your Brain Actually Loves a Good Flex
There’s some real science behind why this works. When you "flex"—meaning, when you assert your power or skill—your body undergoes a physiological shift. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist known for her work on power posing (though her specific "hormone" claims were debated, the psychological effect of "presence" remains widely accepted), suggests that our physical posture influences our internal state.
When you decide to hit them with the flex, you're essentially triggering a feedback loop.
- You act confident.
- People treat you as if you are confident.
- You feel more confident.
It’s a cycle. If you walk into a negotiation and lead with your strongest data point immediately—a massive "flex" of your value—you’ve effectively anchored the conversation. You’re no longer the underdog. You're the prize.
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How to Hit Them With the Flex Without Looking Like a Jerk
This is the tricky part. There is a very thin, very blurry line between a "flex" and just being an arrogant nightmare. Nobody likes the person who spends the whole dinner talking about their Tesla or their 401k. That’s not a flex; that’s an insecurity masquerading as success.
The real "flex" is often silent.
Think about Keanu Reeves. The guy is one of the biggest stars on the planet, yet he’s constantly caught on camera doing regular, kind things—like giving up his seat on the subway. That’s a flex. He doesn't need to tell you he’s a big deal. His character does it for him.
In a professional setting, a flex might look like this: A client tries to lowball your fee. Instead of getting defensive or explaining why you’re worth it, you simply say, "I understand. Many of our clients start with that budget before they see the 40% ROI we delivered for [Major Competitor]. Would you like to see those case studies?"
Boom. You just hit them with the flex. You didn't raise your voice. You didn't get angry. You just reminded them who they're dealing with.
The "Internal Flex" and Why It Matters Most
Most people think a flex is for others. It’s not. Or at least, the best ones aren't.
The most powerful version of this is the internal flex. This is when you prove something to yourself. You ever set a goal that felt impossible? Maybe running a 5k or finally learning how to code in Python? When you hit that milestone, you’re flexing on your old self.
You’re saying, "I’m bigger than the person I was yesterday."
This is where the concept of "competence porn" comes from—the satisfaction of watching someone who is incredibly good at their job just do the job. Whether it’s a chef dicing an onion in five seconds or a coder fixing a bug with one line of text, that's the ultimate flex. It’s mastery.
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When the Flex Goes Wrong: The Cringe Factor
We have to talk about the dark side.
Social media—TikTok especially—is a graveyard of failed flexes. Renting a private jet for a 10-minute photoshoot? Cringe. Carrying around stacks of cash that are mostly $1 bills with a $100 on top? Major cringe.
The difference is authenticity. A real flex is rooted in reality. A fake flex is rooted in a desperate need for validation.
If you have to tell people you’re the boss, you’re probably not the boss. As Margaret Thatcher famously (and perhaps polarizingly) said, "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." The same applies here. If you have to announce the flex, it’s not hitting the way you think it is.
3 Specific Ways to Hit Them With the Flex Tomorrow
Let’s get practical. You want to use this energy. How do you do it without feeling like an imposter?
1. The Competence Flex
Don't tell people you're good. Be so good they can't ignore you. In your next meeting, instead of saying "I think I can help," come prepared with a finished prototype or a deeply researched solution. Don't wait for permission to be excellent.
2. The Boundary Flex
This is my favorite. People expect you to say "yes" to everything. A massive flex is saying "No, that doesn't work for me" without offering a 20-minute explanation. Choosing how you spend your time is the ultimate status symbol.
3. The Kindness Flex
In a world that is increasingly cynical and mean-spirited, being the person who remains calm, collected, and genuinely helpful is a power move. When someone is rude to you and you respond with poise and a smile? You just flexed on their lack of emotional intelligence.
The Nuance of Cultural Flexing
It’s worth noting that what counts as a flex changes depending on where you are. In some cultures, blatant self-promotion is seen as a massive weakness. In Silicon Valley, "failing fast" is a flex—it shows you’re brave enough to take risks. In the creative world, having "creative control" is a bigger flex than a high salary.
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You have to read the room.
If you’re in a space where humility is valued, your flex should be your work ethic. If you’re in a high-stakes sales environment, your flex is your numbers. Understanding the currency of the room is the only way to make sure your flex actually lands.
Real-World Examples: The Hall of Fame
Look at Serena Williams. Her entire career was one long flex. Not just because she won, but because of how she carried herself when people tried to tear her down. She wore what she wanted, she spoke her mind, and she backed it all up with a serve that clocked over 120 mph.
Or look at Steve Jobs. His flex wasn't just the iPhone; it was the "One More Thing" at the end of his presentations. He knew he had the audience in the palm of his hand. He saved the best for last because he knew the value of the reveal.
Even in 2026, these principles haven't changed. The tools are different—maybe you’re flexing your AI-prompting skills or your ability to lead a decentralized remote team—but the core human psychology is identical.
Actionable Next Steps to Own Your Influence
If you want to start implementing this "flex" mentality, stop waiting for someone to hand you a microphone.
Start by identifying one area where you are undeniably talented. Just one. It doesn't have to be your whole job. Maybe you’re the best at organizing chaotic spreadsheets, or you have a knack for calming down upset customers.
First, lean into that strength until it becomes your signature.
Second, stop apologizing for being good at it. When someone compliments you, say "Thank you," not "Oh, it was nothing."
Third, use that confidence as a bridge to other skills.
The goal isn't to make others feel small. The goal is to make yourself feel big enough to handle whatever the world throws at you. When you finally hit them with the flex, it shouldn't feel like a performance. It should feel like the most natural thing in the world because you’ve done the work to back it up.
Go out there and own the space you’re in. Don't just show up—make sure they know you're there. That is the only way to truly flex.