Honestly, most people look at Hallmark and see cozy sweaters, fake snow, and a very predictable third-act misunderstanding. But then there’s Hallmark To Have and To Holiday, and suddenly things get a little more real. It’s not just another "small-town girl meets big-city architect" vibe.
This movie actually digs into the messy, awkward, and sometimes frustrating reality of pre-marital counseling.
We’ve all been there. You’re in love. You think you know everything about your partner. Then, someone asks a question about bank accounts or how often the in-laws are visiting, and the room goes dead silent. That’s the heart of Hallmark To Have and To Holiday. It follows Celeste and Jason, a couple who basically get fast-tracked into a "wedding bootcamp" run by Celeste’s father, who happens to be a pastor.
It's funny. It's cringe. It's actually kind of profound if you pay attention.
The Reality Check Behind the Tinsel
Most holiday movies end at the altar. They assume the "happily ever after" is a given once the ring is on the finger. Hallmark To Have and To Holiday flips the script by making the preparation for the marriage more important than the preparation for the wedding.
You see Celeste and Jason realizing that "love" isn't just a feeling you have while drinking cocoa. It's a series of difficult decisions. They have to pass these "tests" to prove they’re ready. And look, while the movie keeps it lighthearted—it is Hallmark, after all—the underlying message is something real therapists actually preach. Dr. John Gottman, a famous relationship expert, often talks about "building love maps." This movie is basically a 90-minute exercise in building those maps under the pressure of Christmas decorations.
Why Pre-Cana and Counseling Matter
In the film, the stakes feel high because Celeste’s dad is the one holding the keys to the ceremony. If they don't pass his "To Have and To Holiday" challenges, the wedding might not happen. In real life, pre-marital counseling is often seen as a chore. Something you "have" to do for the church or the paperwork.
But think about it.
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How many couples actually sit down and talk about holiday traditions before they’re married? Do we go to your mom’s on Christmas Eve or mine? Does the tree have to be real or can we use the plastic one from the attic? These seem like small things. They aren't. They are the building blocks of a shared life. The movie uses these specific holiday stressors to highlight the universal stressors of any long-term partnership.
Breaking Down the "To Have and To Holiday" Challenges
The "challenges" in the movie aren't just for plot points. They’re actually pretty decent representations of common friction points.
One of the biggest hurdles is the "communication under pressure" aspect. Jason and Celeste are forced to work together on tasks that are designed to frustrate them. If you've ever tried to put together IKEA furniture with your spouse, you know exactly what this feels like. Now, imagine doing that while your father-in-law watches with a clipboard.
It’s a nightmare.
But it’s also a mirror. The way you handle a burnt turkey or a broken ornament says a lot about how you’ll handle a job loss or a sick kid five years down the road. The film pushes this idea that "holiday spirit" isn't a magical force; it’s a choice you make when things are going wrong.
The Father-In-Law Dynamic
Let's talk about the dad. Pastor Mark.
He’s played with that classic Hallmark mix of "strict but secretly a softie." His role in Hallmark To Have and To Holiday represents the external pressure many couples feel. Everyone has an opinion on your relationship. Parents. Friends. Social media. Mark isn't just a character; he’s the personification of the expectations we all carry into marriage.
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His challenges aren't meant to break them up. They’re meant to see if they’re strong enough to stay together despite him. That’s a nuanced take for a Christmas flick. It acknowledges that sometimes the people who love us most can be the biggest obstacles to our peace.
Moving Beyond the Screen: How to Use These Lessons
You don't need a pastor father-in-law to do your own version of Hallmark To Have and To Holiday. In fact, you probably shouldn't wait for a crisis to start these conversations.
One thing the movie gets right is the "neutral third party" concept. Even if you aren't religious, having someone facilitate these discussions—a counselor, a mentor, or even a very structured workbook—removes the "you vs. me" dynamic. It becomes "us vs. the challenge."
Real Talk: Financial Expectations
The movie touches on the "lifestyle" expectations of the two leads. Jason and Celeste have different ideas of what their future looks like. This is where most real-world marriages stumble. According to a 2023 study by Fidelity, about 40% of couples don't even know what their partner earns.
In Hallmark To Have and To Holiday, the "holiday" part of the title acts as a metaphor for the "high-spending, high-stress" periods of life. If you can’t agree on a Christmas budget, how are you going to agree on a mortgage?
The film subtly suggests that transparency is the only way forward. No secrets. No "I'll handle it later." Just raw, uncomfortable honesty.
The Casting and Chemistry That Makes It Work
Madeline Leon and Eric Elezaj have a vibe that feels authentic. Sometimes Hallmark leads feel like they were grown in a lab specifically to look good in flannel. These two feel like they might actually have an argument over whose turn it is to do the dishes.
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Leon’s Celeste is driven. She’s a bit of a perfectionist.
Elezaj’s Jason is more "go with the flow."
This is the classic "pursuer-distancer" dynamic that therapists like Dr. Sue Johnson describe in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). One person pushes for resolution; the other pulls back to avoid conflict. Seeing this play out in Hallmark To Have and To Holiday makes the movie feel less like a fairy tale and more like a case study with better lighting.
Why "Holiday" Is the Secret Ingredient
Why set this during Christmas?
Because Christmas is the ultimate stress test. It’s loud. It’s expensive. It’s nostalgic. It’s exhausting. By putting these pre-marital challenges in the middle of December, the movie amplifies the stakes. If they can survive a "Hallmark Christmas" with their relationship intact, they can survive anything.
It also plays on the "homecoming" trope. Going home for the holidays often regresses adults into their teenage selves. Celeste has to navigate being a grown-up bride-to-be while still being "daddy’s little girl." That’s a tough tightrope. The movie handles this transition—from being a daughter to being a wife—with a surprising amount of grace.
Actionable Insights for Your Own "To Have and To Holiday" Moment
If you’re watching Hallmark To Have and To Holiday and thinking, "Wow, we actually need to talk about this stuff," don’t wait. You can take the core themes of the movie and apply them to your own relationship right now.
- The 24-Hour "No-Tech" Challenge: In the movie, the couple has to focus. Try a day without phones to see if you actually enjoy each other's company without distractions. It’s harder than it sounds.
- The Budget Summit: Sit down and look at the "holiday" spend. Not just the gifts, but the travel and the food. If you can navigate a $500 discrepancy now, you're building the muscles for the $5,000 problems later.
- The "In-Law" Boundary Map: Decide now what the boundaries are. Who gets Thanksgiving? Who gets New Year's? Write it down. The movie shows that unplanned expectations lead to resentment.
- Identify Your "Pastor Mark": Who is the person in your life whose opinion weighs too heavily on your relationship? Acknowledge it. Talk about how to handle that person as a team.
- The Shared Tradition Audit: Ask each other: "What is one thing we do every year that you secretly hate?" Get rid of it. Replace it with something that belongs solely to the two of you.
Marriage isn't a destination. It's a series of "holidays" and "ordinary days" strung together. Hallmark To Have and To Holiday reminds us that the work starts long before the "I do." It’s about the "I will." I will listen. I will compromise. I will show up, even when the tinsel is falling off the tree and the heater is making that weird clicking noise again.
Instead of just watching the movie for the aesthetics, use it as a prompt. Ask your partner, "What would your dad’s version of these challenges be?" Their answer might tell you more about your future than any engagement ring ever could.
Check your local listings or the Hallmark streaming app to catch a replay. It’s worth the watch, not just for the romance, but for the reality check. Focus on the "To Have" part. The "Holiday" part is just the wrapping paper. Once you've watched, sit down with your partner and pick one "challenge" from the film to try yourselves—it's the most practical way to turn a movie night into a relationship investment.