Let’s be real for a second. Most romantic comedies are total lies. They feature people with impossibly high-paying jobs who live in massive lofts and somehow never have to deal with the soul-crushing reality of a bad Wi-Fi connection or a flight delay. But then there is the Going the Distance film. Released in 2010, this R-rated comedy starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long didn't just lean into the "long-distance relationship" trope; it basically lived in the grime and the heartbreak of it.
It's messy. It’s loud. It’s occasionally very gross.
Most importantly, it feels like it was written by someone who actually spent six hours in an airport terminal eating soggy pretzels while waiting for a standby flight to see someone they haven't touched in three months. If you’ve ever tried to maintain a relationship across time zones, you know exactly what Garrett and Erin are going through. The film captures that weird, specific desperation. You aren't just dating a person; you're dating a schedule. You're dating a laptop screen.
What Going the Distance film got right about the "Bi-Coastal" nightmare
The plot is straightforward enough. Garrett (Justin Long) is a music industry scout in New York. Erin (Drew Barrymore) is an aspiring journalist finishing an internship at The Associated Press. They meet, they click, and they decide to try the impossible: making it work between NYC and San Francisco.
Here is where the movie earns its stripes. It doesn't sugarcoat the logistics.
Distance isn't just about missing someone’s face. It is about the financial drain. We see the characters agonizing over the cost of flights. We see the awkwardness of trying to have phone sex while roommates are in the next room. There is a specific scene involving a kitchen table that—while played for laughs—perfectly illustrates the frantic, almost manic energy that happens when you finally see your partner after weeks apart. You aren't just happy; you’re starving for them.
Director Nanette Burstein, who actually came from a documentary background (The Kid Stays in the Picture), brought a handheld, loose feel to the cinematography. It doesn't look like a polished Hollywood set. It looks like New York in the summer—sweaty and cramped. This grounded approach is why the Going the Distance film holds up better than something like The Holiday or Serendipity. It feels lived-in.
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The chemistry of real-life history
One reason the dialogue feels so snappy and authentic is that Barrymore and Long were actually dating in real life during the production. You can't fake that kind of shorthand. When they argue, it doesn't sound like "movie dialogue." It sounds like two people who know exactly how to poke at each other's insecurities.
The supporting cast is genuinely elite too.
- Charlie Day (Dan)
- Jason Sudeikis (Box)
- Christina Applegate (Corinne)
Day and Sudeikis play Garrett's friends, and they provide the "voice of reason" that is usually just them being pessimistic jerks. But that’s what friends do, right? They remind you that you're spending thousands of dollars on JetBlue tickets for a relationship that has a 10% chance of surviving. Applegate, playing Erin’s overprotective sister, represents the other side—the fear of seeing someone you love give up their career for a "maybe."
The "End Game" problem in modern romance
Most rom-coms end with a big airport gesture. The guy runs through TSA (which, let's be honest, hasn't been possible since 2001) and confesses his love. The credits roll.
The Going the Distance film understands that the airport is actually the villain. The airport is where the pain happens. The "goodbye" at the gate is a recurring trauma. The film spends a lot of time on the "End Game"—the realization that for a long-distance relationship to work, someone eventually has to move. Someone has to sacrifice their job, their friends, and their comfort zone.
Erin is a journalist. In 2010, the newspaper industry was already cratering. The movie handles her career ambitions with surprising respect. She isn't just a "love interest" who can move anywhere; she is a woman with a master's degree who wants a specific life. This creates a genuine conflict. If Garrett moves to SF, his music career dies. If Erin stays in NYC, she’s just a waitress.
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This isn't a fairy tale. It’s a career vs. love ultimatum.
Why the R-Rating was necessary
Back when this came out, people were surprised by the raunchiness. But honestly? It was necessary. Long-distance relationships are inherently physical in their absence. The movie uses foul language and dirty jokes because that’s how people actually talk when they’re frustrated and lonely.
The "phone sex" scene is iconic for a reason. It is incredibly cringey. It’s awkward. It’s interrupted by technical glitches. If the movie had been PG-13, it would have felt sanitized. By leaning into the "R," the filmmakers captured the raw, unrefined nature of adult intimacy.
The soundtrack and the 2010s aesthetic
If you watch the Going the Distance film today, it’s a total time capsule. The music is peak "Indie Sleaze" era. We’re talking about The Boxer Rebellion, Eels, and Band of Skulls. Garrett’s job as an A&R guy allows the film to showcase a very specific moment in the music industry where everyone was terrified of the digital transition but still trying to find the "next big thing" in a smoky club.
Even the tech is nostalgic. They’re using early smartphones and webcams that look like they were filmed through a potato. It reminds you how much harder LDRs were even just 15 years ago. No FaceTime. No fiber-optic internet. Just blurry pixels and dropped calls.
Breaking down the realism: Does it actually work?
Relationship experts often point to this movie as one of the more "accurate" depictions of the LDR cycle. Dr. Gwendolyn Seidman, a psychology professor who studies relationships, has often noted that the "idealization" phase of long distance is what kills most couples. You only see the best version of the person for 48 hours, then you go back to your "real" life.
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The movie highlights this by showing the "re-entry" blues. That moment when you get home from a visit and your apartment feels too quiet, and you're suddenly annoyed by your partner's habits because you've forgotten what it's like to actually live with them.
It asks the hard question: Do you love the person, or do you love the idea of them?
Actionable Takeaways for Surviving the Distance
If you’re watching this movie because you’re currently in the thick of a long-distance struggle, there are actually some "pro-tips" buried in the script (and in real-world psychology) that mirror Erin and Garrett’s journey.
- Set an Expiry Date. The reason the characters in the film spiral is because they don't have a plan. An LDR without an end date is just a pen-pal situation with more crying. You need to know who is moving and when.
- Maintain Your Own "Real" Life. Garrett’s friends (Day and Sudeikis) are annoying, but they keep him grounded in NYC. Don't stop going out just because you’re waiting for a Skype call.
- Accept the "Boring" Moments. The movie shows that intimacy isn't just the big reunions. It's the mundane stuff. Watching a movie "together" while on a video call actually helps bridge the gap.
- Be Honest About the Cost. Don't go into debt for flights. It adds a layer of resentment to the relationship that is almost impossible to scrub off later.
The verdict on Going the Distance
Is it the greatest movie ever made? No. But is it the most honest look at 21st-century dating? Probably. It avoids the "perfect" ending in favor of something that feels earned. It acknowledges that love is great, but it’s also a lot of work, expensive flights, and career compromises.
If you want a movie that makes you feel seen—especially if you're currently staring at a "low battery" notification while talking to your partner—this is the one. It’s funny, it’s crude, and it’s heart-wrenchingly accurate about what it means to be a thousand miles away from the one person you want to talk to.
To get the most out of the experience, watch it with a focus on the career subplots. It’s one of the few films that treats a woman’s professional ambition as an equal weight to her romantic life, rather than just an obstacle to be cleared. Check the licensing on your local streaming platforms; it frequently hops between Max and Netflix, and it's well worth the rental fee if you need a reminder that your long-distance struggle is a universal experience.