Let’s be honest. Most of us spend our evenings in a sort of digital trance, scrolling through TikTok while our spouse watches a documentary in the same room. We’re together, but we aren’t together. It’s a weird, modern loneliness. I’ve found that the easiest way to break that cycle isn't necessarily a deep, soul-searching conversation about "the relationship." Sometimes, it’s just a board game. Games for married couples offer a low-stakes way to reconnect without the pressure of a formal "date night."
It’s about play. We forget how to do that once the mortgage and the kids' soccer schedules take over.
There’s actually some fascinating science behind why this works. Dr. John Gottman, a world-renowned researcher on marriage, talks a lot about "turning toward" your partner. When you play a game, you’re constantly turning toward each other. You’re engaging in a shared reality. It creates what researchers call "shared meaning," which is basically a fancy way of saying you’re building a private world that only the two of you inhabit.
The Problem With Competitive Gaming
Some people tell me, "We can't play games. He gets too competitive," or "She hates losing." I get it. My wife once nearly threw a Monopoly board across the room because I put a hotel on Boardwalk.
If your marriage is a powder keg of competition, do not—I repeat, do not—play Risk. Or Catan.
Instead, look for cooperative games. These changed everything for us. In a cooperative game, it’s the two of you against the "board." You win together, or you lose together. It shifts the dynamic from "I’m better than you" to "How do we solve this mess?" Pandemic is the classic example here. You’re both CDC researchers trying to stop global diseases. It’s stressful, sure, but it’s a shared stress.
Another one that’s kinda slept on is Codenames: Duet. It’s a two-player version of the popular party game where you have to give one-word clues to help your partner find secret agents. It forces you to think like the other person. You start realizing how your spouse’s brain categorizes things. It’s surprisingly intimate.
Games for Married Couples: What to Avoid
Most lists you find online are filled with "naughty" card games or those deep-question decks that feel like a job interview. Honestly? Those can be exhausting. If I’ve had a ten-hour workday, I don’t necessarily want to answer, "What is your deepest fear regarding our future?" I want to relax.
Avoid games that:
- Take longer than 45 minutes to set up.
- Have a rulebook the size of a Tolstoy novel.
- Require more than two players to be fun (nothing is worse than a "2-player mode" that feels like an afterthought).
- Rely 100% on luck. A little strategy makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something.
The Psychological Boost of Board Games
Think about dopamine. When you’re learning a new game, your brain is firing off all sorts of feel-good chemicals. When you do that alongside your partner, your brain starts associating those positive hits with them.
It’s a neurological hack.
According to a 2019 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, couples who played games together experienced a significant increase in oxytocin—the "cuddle hormone"—compared to couples who just went for a walk. Interestingly, the effect was even stronger when the games involved some level of physical touch or high-energy interaction.
Digital Options for the Couch Potatoes
If you can’t be bothered to clear the dining room table, video games are a legitimate path. But stay away from Call of Duty.
It Takes Two is basically the gold standard for games for married couples in the digital space. The plot is literally about a husband and wife going through a divorce who get turned into dolls and have to work together to return to their human forms. It’s whimsical, beautiful, and requires genuine coordination. You can’t progress unless both of you are in sync.
Then there’s Stardew Valley. It’s slow. It’s peaceful. You just build a farm together. You decide who’s going to water the crops and who’s going to go into the mines to fight slimes. It’s the ultimate "low-cortisol" gaming experience.
Beyond the Board: Quick and Easy Verbal Games
You don’t always need a box. Some of the best interactions happen in the car or while waiting for a table at a restaurant. We play a game called "The Pitch." One person gives a ridiculous movie title, and the other has to pitch the plot, the lead actors, and the twist ending.
It’s silly. It’s pointless. But it keeps the conversation from devolving into a discussion about who forgot to take the trash out.
Another great one is "High/Low." You each share the best part of your day and the worst. It’s simple, but it ensures that you’re actually checking in. However, if you want something more "game-y," try the New York Times Connections puzzle. We do it every morning. We huddle over one phone and try to figure out the four groups of four. It takes five minutes, but it’s a tiny victory we share before the day gets chaotic.
Making Time for Play
The biggest hurdle isn't finding a good game; it's finding the time.
I know you’re tired. I know the laundry is piling up.
Try a "No-Screen Tuesday." Just one night. Put the phones in a drawer. If the thought of a two-hour board game session feels daunting, start with a card game. The Mind is a game you can play in 15 minutes. It’s weird—you aren't allowed to talk. You just have to play cards in ascending order based on "vibes" and timing. It sounds impossible, but when you pull it off, it feels like you’ve achieved telepathy.
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Actionable Steps to Get Started
Don't go out and buy ten games at once. You'll get overwhelmed and they’ll just collect dust.
- Identify your "conflict style." If you both hate losing, stick to cooperative games like Forbidden Island or Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle. If you like a little friendly banter, try 7 Wonders Duel.
- Check the "Weight" on BoardGameGeek. Every game has a complexity rating. If you’re new to this, look for games with a weight of 2.0 or lower. Anything higher and you’ll spend the whole night reading the manual instead of playing.
- Set the mood. Turn on some music. Pour a glass of wine or make some tea. Make the game the "event," not just something you're doing while the TV is on in the background.
- Accept the learning curve. The first time you play a game, you’re going to get the rules wrong. It’s fine. Don't argue about it. Just roll with it and fix it for the next round.
- Look for local "Board Game Cafes." It’s a great way to try a game for $5 before you drop $50 on a copy for your house.
Investing in games for married couples is really just an investment in your friendship. Marriage is hard work, but it should also be fun. If it’s been a while since you laughed until your stomach hurt with your spouse, a $20 box of cards might be a better investment than a weekend getaway. Start small. Play often. Don't let the competitive fire burn the house down.