Time is a liar. We think it’s linear, a steady tick-tock of seconds, but anyone who has ever stared at a fading sunset or held a sleeping child knows that’s garbage. Some minutes feel like hours. Others vanish before you can draw a breath. That’s the core of why five more minutes: moments like these has become such a resonant phrase in our cultural lexicon. It’s not just about a measurement of three hundred seconds; it’s about that desperate, human tug-of-war with the inevitable.
We’ve all been there. You’re lying in bed on a Saturday morning, the light hitting the duvet just right, and the world outside hasn't started screaming yet. You whisper it to yourself. Just five more. It’s a plea for a temporary truce with reality.
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The Science of Why We Crave Five More Minutes: Moments Like These
Neuroscience actually has a lot to say about this. It’s not just laziness. When we’re in those "liminal" spaces—the gap between sleep and wakefulness, or the final moments of a vacation—our brains are often bathed in a specific cocktail of neurochemicals. Dr. Andrew Huberman and other researchers have discussed how our perception of time is heavily modulated by dopamine. When we are experiencing something pleasurable or deeply relaxing, our internal clock actually slows down.
Basically, your brain is trying to "save" the file.
When you ask for five more minutes, you’re usually in a state of high parasympathetic nervous system activity. Pushing back against the "go-go-go" cortisol spike of the morning isn't just a whim; it's a physiological protest. We are biologically wired to savor the "goldilocks zone" of comfort.
The Emotional Weight of the Final Countdown
Think about the last time you saw a friend off at the airport. You’ve done the dinner, you’ve said the big things, and now you’re standing by the security gate. That’s one of those classic five more minutes: moments like these where the air feels thick.
It’s heavy.
There is a psychological phenomenon called "anticipatory grief." Even if the person is just going away for a week, that final window of time is colored by the knowledge that it’s ending. You aren't just experiencing the present; you're already mourning its conclusion. It's why those last few minutes of a concert always feel louder and more desperate than the opening song.
I remember a specific instance—a friend was moving across the country. We sat on the floor of her empty apartment, eating lukewarm pizza out of the box. The moving truck was idling outside. We didn't talk about anything important. We just sat. That's the thing about these moments; they don't need profound dialogue. The silence does the heavy lifting.
When the Clock Becomes the Enemy
In a productivity-obsessed world, we’re taught that every minute needs a "return on investment." If you aren't grinding, you're losing. But five more minutes: moments like these serve as a necessary rebellion. They are the antithesis of the "hustle culture" that dominates LinkedIn feeds and corporate seminars.
If you look at the work of slowing-down advocates like Carl Honoré, author of In Praise of Slowness, the argument is clear: the most valuable moments are often the ones that have zero economic output.
- Watching the tide come in.
- The lingering hug after a long day.
- Sitting in the car in the driveway after work just to have a second of peace.
- The snooze button (okay, maybe that one is debatable, but you get the point).
Why We Can't Just Let Go
There’s a bit of a misconception that wanting "five more minutes" is a sign of avoidance. People think you're running away from your responsibilities or avoiding the "real world." Honestly? It’s usually the opposite. It’s a sign that you are deeply present.
If you didn't value the moment, you wouldn't want it to last.
Research into mindfulness often highlights the "beginner’s mind," but there’s also something to be said for the "closer’s mind." When we know time is short, our senses sharpen. We notice the specific way the light catches a glass of water or the exact cadence of a person’s laugh. These are the details we miss when we’re rushing.
The Digital Erasure of the Lingering Moment
Our phones are the ultimate killers of five more minutes: moments like these.
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Think about it. In the past, if you were waiting for a bus or sitting at a cafe, those "extra" minutes were filled with observation or daydreaming. Now, we fill the gaps with infinite scrolls. We’ve traded the richness of the "lingering moment" for the cheap hit of a notification. We don't even give ourselves five minutes to just be anymore.
A 2023 study on digital consumption habits found that the average person checks their phone over 150 times a day. That’s 150 times we’ve opted out of the physical world. We are losing the ability to sit with the "five more minutes" feeling because we’re constantly jumping to the next thing before the current one has even finished.
How to Reclaim These Moments in a Busy Life
You don't need a beach in Maui to experience this. You can manufacture these moments in the middle of a chaotic Tuesday. It just requires a bit of intentionality and a willingness to feel slightly awkward.
Stop.
That’s basically the whole trick. When you feel that urge to rush to the next task, intentionally give yourself five more minutes with whatever you’re doing. If you’re drinking tea, don't scroll. Just drink the tea. If you’re talking to your partner, don't look at the clock. Give it that extra beat.
The "five more minutes" rule is a powerful tool for mental health. Instead of viewing it as a delay, view it as a recharge. It’s a micro-meditation.
Actionable Steps to Value Your Time Better
- The "One-More-Look" Rule: When leaving a beautiful place or a loved one, stop at the door or the exit. Turn around. Take one intentional, five-second mental "photograph." It sounds cheesy, but it anchors the memory in a way that a quick phone picture never will.
- Delay the Digital: When you wake up, don't touch your phone for the first five minutes. Let your brain exist in that "moments like these" state without the intrusion of emails or news.
- The Driveway Sanctuary: If you have a stressful job, sit in your car for five minutes when you get home. Don't go inside immediately. Transition slowly. Use that time to shed the day's stress so you don't bring it into your house.
- Audit Your "Musts": Look at your schedule. How many of those back-to-back meetings could have a five-minute "buffer"? We often schedule ourselves into a corner, leaving no room for the unexpected beauty of a lingering conversation.
Ultimately, life isn't lived in the big milestones. It’s lived in the margins. It’s lived in the "five more minutes" we steal for ourselves. These moments are the fabric of a life well-lived, providing the texture and the depth that a busy schedule simply can't offer. We spend so much time trying to "save" time, but time is the only thing we can't actually keep. The best we can do is hold onto the good parts just a little bit longer.
Next time you find yourself reaching for the "next" thing, try staying exactly where you are. Give yourself that extra time. You probably need it more than you realize.