You’ve heard it on every set from a tiny indie short in a Brooklyn basement to a massive Marvel production in Atlanta. "Thanks, darling." "You got it, love." "Great take, sweetheart." It’s everywhere. If you walked into a corporate accounting firm and called your boss "sweetheart," you’d probably be looking at an HR meeting by lunch. But in the movie business? It’s just Tuesday.
Film terms of endearment are this bizarre, sticky language that holds the chaos of a film set together. It’s not just about being "lovey-dovey." Honestly, it’s mostly about efficiency. When a First Assistant Director is trying to move 200 people through a lighting change before the sun goes down, names become a luxury. "Darling" is a shortcut. It’s a tool. It’s a way to be warm while being incredibly demanding.
But where did this come from? And why does it feel so weirdly natural once you’ve spent twelve hours in a soundstage?
The History of "Darling" and "Sweetheart" on Set
It’s easy to think this is just some leftover affectation from the Golden Age of Hollywood, and yeah, that’s a big part of it. Back in the 1930s and 40s, the studio system was a weird blend of high-class theater roots and gritty industrial labor. Actors like Bette Davis or Joan Crawford brought a certain theatricality to the way they spoke. Calling a crew member "dahling" wasn't just a term of affection; it was a persona. It established a specific kind of atmosphere.
But it wasn't just the stars.
The crew adopted it too. You have to remember that film sets are essentially traveling circuses. You’re working 14-hour days with people you’ve never met before, and you’ll likely never see some of them again once the production wraps. In that high-pressure environment, film terms of endearment act as a social lubricant. They soften the blow of a harsh command.
Take the word "Love." In the UK film industry, it’s ubiquitous. It’s used by everyone from the grips to the producers. It’s not romantic. It’s barely even personal. It’s a linguistic placeholder that says, "I recognize you’re a human being, now please move that C-stand six inches to the left."
Why We Don't Use Real Names
Names are hard. Seriously.
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On a standard feature film, you might have hundreds of crew members. The Director and the ADs are communicating with departments they might only interact with for five minutes a day. If you’re the Key Grip and you need the 2nd AC to pull a marker, you might not remember if their name is Sarah or Sam. Calling them "babe" or "mate" or "honey" saves you from the awkwardness of getting it wrong.
It’s a practical solution to a memory problem.
Some people hate it. There’s a valid argument that calling a professional woman "sweetheart" in a workplace is patronizing. And it can be. Context is everything here. There’s a massive difference between a veteran female Script Supervisor calling a young PA "honey" as a motherly gesture of support during a rough night shoot, and a male producer using it to diminish a female colleague's authority.
Industry veterans like Susan Sullivan or directors who have spoken about set etiquette often note that the "family" vibe of a set can sometimes blur professional boundaries. It’s a tightrope walk. You want the intimacy because it fuels creativity, but you need the respect because it’s a job.
The Regional Flavor of Set Talk
Language changes depending on where you're shooting. If you’re on a set in New Orleans, you’re going to hear "cher" or "baby" a lot more than you would in Vancouver.
- London Sets: "Love," "Darling," "Guv," and "Mate" are the staples. It feels Dickensian sometimes, but it’s remarkably effective at keeping the peace.
- New York Sets: "Boss," "Chief," and "Kid" are more common. It’s a bit punchier. Less flowery.
- Los Angeles Sets: This is where you get the "Babe" and "Sweetie" overkill. It’s the epicenter of the "industry" dialect.
Interestingly, these terms often cross the "line." In film speak, "the line" refers to the divide between Above-the-Line (Producers, Directors, Actors) and Below-the-Line (Grips, Electricians, Hair and Makeup). Endearments are one of the few things that travel freely between these groups. A makeup artist might call a world-famous actor "sugar" while dabbing sweat off their forehead, and it’s perfectly acceptable. It’s part of the intimacy of the craft.
The Psychological Impact of "Set Speak"
There’s a psychological component to this that most people outside the industry don’t get. When you’re filming a movie, you are often exhausted. You’re cold. You’re hungry. You’re probably on your fourth cup of mediocre catering coffee.
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In those moments, hearing a term of endearment—even a fake or professional one—can provide a weirdly necessary hit of dopamine. It’s a tiny bit of warmth in a mechanical process. It reminds the crew that they aren't just cogs in a machine.
However, there is a dark side.
Sometimes these terms are used as "gaslighting-lite." If a production is falling behind schedule and the AD starts calling everyone "darling" while stripping away their lunch breaks, it feels manipulative. It’s a way to mask a toxic work environment with a veneer of "we’re all family here."
Real pros know the difference. They know when a "sweetheart" is genuine and when it’s a way to keep you from complaining about the fact that you’ve been standing in rain for six hours.
Is the Trend Dying Out?
Sorta.
The industry is changing. There’s a much bigger focus on professional standards and "the way things used to be" isn't always seen as a good thing anymore. Younger generations of filmmakers—Gen Z and younger Millennials—are much more likely to use actual names. They value boundaries.
Intimacy Coordinators are also changing the landscape. Their presence on set has made everyone more aware of how they touch and talk to one another. Using film terms of endearment with an actor you don't know well is becoming a bit of a faux pas. It’s better to be polite and professional than "familiarly" rude.
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But it won't ever totally vanish.
The "thespian" energy is too baked into the DNA of cinema. As long as there are theaters and stages and cameras, there will be people calling each other "darling" because it’s just easier than remembering if the new intern’s name is Dave or Dan.
How to Navigate Set Language Like a Pro
If you’re new to the industry or just curious how to handle this without looking like a jerk, here’s the reality of how to use (or avoid) these terms:
- Observe the hierarchy first. Don't walk onto a set on day one and start calling the Director of Photography "babe." You will be laughed out of the building. Or fired. Probably both.
- Default to "Boss" or "Chief." These are safe, gender-neutral terms of respect that acknowledge someone's role without getting too personal.
- Read the room. If the vibe is high-stress and silent, keep your mouth shut. If everyone is joking around at the craft services table, you can loosen up.
- Never use it to diminish. If you're using a term of endearment because you don't take someone seriously, people will notice. And they will hate you for it.
- Names are still king. If you can remember a name, use it. It carries ten times more weight than any "sweetheart" ever will.
The best way to learn the nuances of film language is to simply listen. Every set has its own "dialect." Some are foul-mouthed and gritty, others are posh and polite. Your job is to find the frequency and tune into it. Whether you love the "darling" culture or think it’s a relic of a bygone era, it’s a fundamental part of the weird, wonderful world of making movies.
If you want to dive deeper into how sets actually function, look into books like A Filmmaker's Guide to Production Design or even classic memoirs from legendary ADs. They often detail the specific "shorthand" that develops during long shoots. Understanding the vocabulary is step one to surviving the grind.
Keep your ears open and your ego in check. That’s the real secret to lasting in this business. Success isn't just about what you know—it's about how you communicate it when the pressure is on. It's about being the person people want to work with for eighteen hours straight, "darling" or not.