Nature has a weird sense of humor. Honestly, if you spend enough time looking at what lives under the waves, you start to realize that marine biologists must have been having a total blast—or a minor breakdown—when they started cataloging these creatures. We aren't just talking about a "clownfish" here. We are talking about genuine, laugh-out-loud absurdities. Fish with funny names are more than just a trivia category; they are a testament to how bizarre evolutionary biology can get when nobody is looking.
You’ve probably heard of the Blobfish. It’s the unofficial mascot of "ugly" animals, looking like a melted pile of pink pudding with a permanent frown. But the ocean is deep. It’s vast. And the naming conventions get way weirder than a sad-faced lump of gelatin.
The Absolute Worst (and Best) Fish With Funny Names
Let’s get the heavy hitters out of the way first. Have you ever heard of the Sarcastic Fringehead? It sounds like a middle school insult. It’s actually a small, incredibly aggressive fish found off the coast of California. When they fight, they open these massive, neon-colored mouths that look like a predator alien. They aren't actually "sarcastic" in the way we use the word—they don't make snide comments about your outfit—but their scientific name, Neoclinus blanchardi, doesn't quite capture the sheer "leave me alone" energy they radiate. They are territorial. They are mean. They are basically the grumpy neighbors of the Pacific.
Then there’s the Slippery Dick. Yes, that’s a real fish. It’s a type of wrasse (Halichoeres bivittatus) common in the tropical waters of the Atlantic. It gets its name from its ability to secrete a slippery mucus that makes it nearly impossible to grab with your bare hands. Divers see them all the time. They are colorful, darting around reefs, completely unaware that their common name makes everyone over the age of twelve giggle.
Why do we name them like this?
Taxonomy is usually a serious business. You have the Linnean system, Latin roots, and precise descriptions. But common names? Those are often given by fishermen, locals, or frustrated researchers who just want to describe what they see.
Take the Wunderpus photogenicus. It’s an octopus, not a fish, but it falls into that same category of "did they really name it that?" Researchers actually gave it that name because it is, well, wonderful and photogenic. It has these stark white spots and stripes that make it a favorite for underwater photographers. Sometimes, the name is just a literal description of how the scientist felt when they saw it.
When Biology Meets Comedy: The Slippery Slope of Marine Naming
If you think those are bad, consider the Boops boops. No, I didn't stutter. That is the actual scientific name for a species of sea bream. It comes from the Greek "boops," which means "cow-eyed." It has big, bulging eyes. If you see it on a menu in the Mediterranean, it might be listed as "Bogue," which sounds a bit more sophisticated, but deep down, it’s still a Boops boops. It's tiny. It's bug-eyed. It's kind of adorable in a "I have no idea where I am" sort of way.
Then we have the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a.
This is the state fish of Hawaii. It’s a reef triggerfish. The name translates roughly to "fish that grunts like a pig." It’s a mouthful. Most people just call it a triggerfish because trying to say the full name without practice is a recipe for a twisted tongue. It’s a gorgeous fish, though—lots of geometric patterns and bright colors. It just happens to have a name that sounds like a rhythmic chant.
The Fried Egg Jellyfish and Other Food-Related Fails
The ocean looks like a deli sometimes. The Fried Egg Jellyfish (Phacellophora camtschatica) looks exactly like what you’d expect: a yellow yolk-like center surrounded by a translucent white "egg white" bell. It’s massive. Its tentacles can reach 20 feet. But all anyone sees is breakfast.
There is also the Pancake Batfish. Imagine a fish that gave up on swimming and decided to become a flat, grumpy-looking disc that walks on the seafloor using its fins like little legs. It looks like a flapjack that fell into the sand. These guys are found in the Gulf of Mexico. They aren't great swimmers. They mostly just "hop" along the bottom, looking like they've had a very long day at the office.
The Science of the Strange: Why "Funny" Names Matter
It’s easy to dismiss these as just quirks of history. But names like the Spiny Lumpsucker actually tell us a lot about the animal’s niche. The Lumpsucker has a modified pelvic fin that acts like a suction cup. It sticks to rocks or kelp and just stays there. It sucks. It’s lumpy. It’s spiny. It’s one of the most honest names in the animal kingdom.
Does a name affect conservation?
Interestingly, yes. A 2023 study by researchers at the University of Paris-Saclay suggested that "ugly" or "funny-looking" animals get less funding for conservation than "charismatic megafauna" like pandas or tigers. This is known as taxonomic bias. If a fish has a "gross" or "ridiculous" name, people are less likely to care about its habitat being destroyed.
The Blobfish, despite its fame, is actually at risk due to deep-sea trawling. It only looks "blobby" because it is brought up from high-pressure depths too quickly, causing its tissue to collapse. In its natural habitat, it looks like a relatively normal fish. We’ve basically turned its corpse into a meme. That’s kind of dark when you think about it.
A List of More Fish With Funny Names (Because We Can't Stop)
- Tassled Wobbegong: A shark that looks like a shaggy rug. It sits on the bottom and waits for prey to wander into its "tassels."
- Coffinfish: A small, red, balloon-like fish that can inflate itself. It lives in the deep sea and looks remarkably like a grumpy tomato.
- Bony-Eared Assfish: This is arguably the peak of the genre. It’s a deep-sea cusk-eel with a small brain and a very unfortunate name. It holds the record for the smallest brain-to-body weight ratio of any vertebrate.
- Monkeyface Prickleback: It’s not a monkey. It doesn’t have a prickle-back in the way you’d think. It’s actually a type of eel-like fish that people in California like to catch for food.
- Shortnose Batfish: Another walker. It looks like it has a permanent "don't talk to me" expression.
The Bony-Eared Assfish: A Case Study in Academic Shade
You have to wonder what the person who named the Acanthonus armatus was thinking. Was it a bad day at the lab? Did the fish look particularly dim-witted? It’s a deep-water fish, found around 14,000 feet down. It has these weird, stay-like bones near its gills. Hence "Bony-Eared." As for the rest? Well, science can be cruel.
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The name has stayed because, frankly, it’s memorable. In the world of marine biology, where thousands of species are being discovered, having a name that sticks—even if it's an insult—is one way to ensure people actually talk about you.
How to Actually See These Fish Without Getting Wet
You don't have to be a deep-sea diver to appreciate these. Many public aquariums have started leaning into the "weird" side of marine life.
- The Monterey Bay Aquarium: Famous for its deep-sea exhibits. They often feature various types of batfish and lumpsuckers.
- The Georgia Aquarium: One of the largest in the world, where you can find triggerfish (the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a included) and various wrasses.
- Museums of Natural History: If you want to see the "sad" version of the blobfish, museums often have preserved specimens.
Is it okay to laugh at them?
Probably. They don't have feelings about their names. But there is a serious side to the humor. By engaging with fish with funny names, we are actually engaging with biodiversity. It's a gateway drug to caring about the ocean. You come for the Slippery Dick, but you stay for the coral reef conservation.
Moving Forward: What You Can Do
The ocean is full of things we don't understand yet. Every year, new species are found, and some of them are bound to have names that make us tilt our heads. If you're interested in the intersection of humor and science, here’s how to dive deeper:
- Follow NOAA Ocean Exploration: They live-stream deep-sea ROV dives. You can hear the scientists in real-time as they see these "funny" fish for the first time. They often joke about the names as they go.
- Check out the World Register of Marine Species (WoRMS): If you want to see the formal side of things, this database is the gold standard. You can search for the most ridiculous names and see their scientific lineage.
- Support deep-sea research: The funny-looking fish are usually the ones living in the most fragile environments. Protecting the deep sea from mining and trawling ensures these "comedic" creatures stay around.
Basically, the next time you see a list of fish with funny names, remember that they are more than just a punchline. They are specialized survivors in a world that would crush a human in seconds. They just happen to look—and be named—like something out of a fever dream.
If you're ever in Hawaii, try asking a local how to pronounce Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. Just... maybe don't ask about the Slippery Dick in polite company.
Actionable Insight: Next time you visit an aquarium, don't just look for the sharks. Ask the docents if they have any "cryptic" species or fish with unusual common names. You'll often find the most interesting biological stories in the tanks people usually walk right past.