You know that feeling when you're sitting across from someone you love, and you can practically see the lie forming in their mouth before they even say it? It’s a specific kind of internal rot. That’s basically what cool about it boygenius captures. It’s not just a song; it’s a forensic autopsy of a relationship that’s already dead but hasn't realized it yet.
Released as a standout track on their 2023 debut full-length album, the record, "Cool About It" became an instant touchstone for fans. It isn't loud. It doesn't have the crashing indie-rock catharsis of "Not Strong Enough" or the finger-tapping energy of "Satanist." Instead, it’s a quiet, Simon & Garfunkel-esque folk tune that uses three distinct verses to tell three different sides of the same miserable coin.
The Architecture of a Heartbreak: Who Wrote What?
The magic of boygenius—comprised of Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus—is that they don't just harmonize; they weave their individual traumas into a single tapestry. For "Cool About It," the structure is linear but emotionally jagged.
Baker takes the first verse. She sets the scene in a bar, or maybe just a dark room, where the air is thick with the effort of trying too hard. Her lyrics focus on the physical tells of anxiety. When she sings about her partner "counting the tiles" or "looking for the exit sign," she’s describing the claustrophobia of a forced conversation. It’s that desperate need to be "cool" when you’re actually vibrating with discomfort.
Then comes Lucy Dacus.
Dacus is the queen of the devastatingly polite observation. Her verse shifts the perspective to the subtle gaslighting we do to ourselves. She mentions "once you've had a little bit to drink," highlighting how we use substances to grease the wheels of a dying connection. It’s about the performative nature of kindness. You’re being nice, they’re being nice, and it’s absolutely killing both of you.
The Phoebe Bridgers Verse and That Specific Reference
If you’ve been on TikTok or Twitter at any point since the album dropped, you’ve seen the lyrics to Phoebe’s verse. It’s the closer. And it’s a gut punch.
She references a "medicine" that her partner is taking, and how she wants to believe it’s working. She mentions the "check-in" texts. It’s a very specific, modern kind of relational exhaustion. She’s essentially saying: I’m pretending to believe your lies because it’s easier than having the fight that ends us. The line "I can walk you home and tell you that I'm fine / And I can wait for the next time that I lose my mind" is peak boygenius. It’s the resignation. It’s the acceptance that "being cool about it" is just another way of saying "I am slowly disappearing to accommodate you."
Why the Banjo Matters More Than You Think
Musically, "Cool About It" is an homage to Paul Simon. The finger-picked guitar and banjo work are intentional. It feels nostalgic. It sounds like something your parents might have played on a dusty turntable in 1975, which makes the modern, biting lyrics feel even more dissonant.
the record as a whole is a study in dynamics, but this track stays low. By keeping the instrumentation acoustic and the harmonies tight—almost eerily tight—the band forces you to listen to the words. There’s no big drum fill to distract you from the fact that they’re describing a slow-motion car crash.
The Viral Visuals and the Music Video
People don't just listen to cool about it boygenius; they watch it. The official music video, directed by Lauren Noser, uses minimalist animation to convey the isolation discussed in the lyrics. It features a dog, a recurring motif in boygenius lore (think "White Soft Hair" or the general "sad dog" energy the fans embrace).
The animation style is scratchy and evocative. It mirrors the "unfinished" feeling of the relationship in the song. It doesn't give you a happy ending because the song doesn't have one. It’s just two people walking in opposite directions while pretending they’re still on the same path.
How to Actually Apply the "Cool About It" Logic (Or Not)
If you find yourself relating too hard to this song, honestly, take a second. The song isn't a "how-to" guide; it’s a warning. "Being cool" is often a mask for being terrified of conflict.
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Recognizing the "Cool About It" Patterns in Your Life
- The Scripted Conversation: If you find yourself planning exactly what to say so you don't "set them off," you’re in verse one.
- The Drinking Buffer: If you can only hang out with that person after a drink or two, that’s the Dacus verse in action.
- The False Peace: If you’re nodding along to things you know aren't true just to keep the evening from exploding, Phoebe has already called you out.
The song resonates because it exposes the dishonesty inherent in "polite" breakups. Sometimes, being "cool" is the least kind thing you can do. It stretches out the pain. It turns a clean break into a jagged tear.
The Cultural Impact of the supergroup
When Julien, Phoebe, and Lucy formed boygenius in 2018 with their self-titled EP, they were already indie darlings. But the record turned them into a legitimate phenomenon. They aren't just three solo artists doing a side project; they are a singular unit.
"Cool About It" is the proof of that. You can’t imagine anyone else singing these specific verses. They were written for each other, about each other, and for us to project our own failed romances onto. It’s a collective mourning session.
Actionable Steps for the Heartbroken Listener
If this track is currently on repeat for you, here is how to move past the "cool" phase and into something healthier:
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- Drop the Mask. Stop trying to be the "chill" partner. If you’re hurt, be hurt. The effort it takes to hide your resentment is more exhausting than the argument itself.
- Audit Your Interactions. Look at your last five texts with that person. Are you actually saying anything, or are you just "checking in" to avoid the void?
- Listen to the Rest of the Discography. If "Cool About It" is too heavy, pivot to "Leonard Cohen" for a bit of levity, or "Anti-Curse" if you need to feel some of Julien Baker’s raw energy.
- Journal the "Unsaid" Things. The song is about what isn't said. Write down the things you’re biting your tongue on. See how they look on paper. Usually, they look a lot like the truth.
The brilliance of cool about it boygenius lies in its lack of resolution. It ends, the harmonies fade, and you’re left in the silence. It doesn't offer a hug. It just offers a mirror. And sometimes, seeing your own reflection—messy, uncool, and deeply hurt—is exactly what you need to finally walk away.