You’ve seen the meme. It’s everywhere. Usually, it’s a grainy screenshot of a tall, disgruntled David Schwimmer standing in Monica’s apartment, looking like he’s about to snap. Or maybe it's just the text, posted by someone who thinks they're being incredibly profound about 90s television.
But honestly, the question why does ross the largest friend not simply eat the other five isn't actually a critique of the show Friends. It’s a piece of high-concept satire from a completely different universe.
Specifically, the year 3000.
The Omicronian perspective
The line comes from the Futurama episode "The Problem with Popplers." In it, Lrrr—the seven-foot-tall, green, cape-wearing ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8—is watching a 1,000-year-old broadcast of Friends. Because the planet is 1,000 light-years away, they’re just now getting the 1990s signal.
Lrrr is basically the ultimate "tough critic." He doesn't care about the "Will they, won't they" drama between Ross and Rachel. He doesn't care about Chandler’s job or Phoebe’s guitar playing. He looks at the screen and sees a biological hierarchy that isn't being exploited. To an Omicronian, the largest member of a group should exert dominance. In their culture, that often involves literal consumption.
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"This is ancient Earth's most foolish program," he bellows. "Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?"
It’s a perfect joke because it highlights how weird sitcoms actually are. We accept these people hanging out in a coffee shop for a decade, but to an outsider, the physics of their social group make zero sense.
Is Ross actually the largest?
If we’re going to take Lrrr’s question seriously—and let’s be real, the internet has—we have to look at the stats. Was Ross actually the apex predator of the Central Perk gang?
If you look at the heights of the cast, David Schwimmer is 6-foot-1. That makes him the tallest of the main six. Here is how they actually measured up:
- David Schwimmer (Ross): 6'1"
- Matthew Perry (Chandler): 6'0"
- Matt LeBlanc (Joey): 5'10"
- Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe): 5'8"
- Courteney Cox (Monica): 5'5"
- Jennifer Aniston (Rachel): 5'4"
So, technically, Lrrr was right. Ross had the height advantage. However, many fans argue that Joey, despite being shorter, was "larger" in terms of sheer mass and physical capability. Joey was the one who could eat a whole turkey. Joey was the one who "doesn't share food." If anyone was going to do the eating, it probably would have been Tribbiani.
But Ross had that specific, lanky reach. He also had the "Red Ross" rage. Remember the "Moist Maker" incident? That was a man on the brink of a predatory break.
Why this joke still hits in 2026
The reason this specific phrase—why does ross the largest friend not simply eat the other five—has stayed relevant for decades is that it mocks the "sameness" of sitcom formulas.
Most 90s sitcoms relied on a group of friends who were roughly equal in social status but different in personality tropes. By introducing the idea of "cannibalistic dominance," Futurama broke the fourth wall in the most absurd way possible. It points out that the characters are essentially just shapes on a screen to be interpreted by whoever (or whatever) is watching.
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It’s also become a shorthand for any situation where a larger entity is inexplicably tolerating a smaller one. You’ll see it used in political commentary, sports discussions, and even corporate mergers. "Why does the larger company not simply eat the smaller five?" It’s a versatile bit of logic.
Misconceptions about the quote
A lot of people think this was a deleted scene from Friends or a weird piece of trivia about the show's production. It's not. David Crane and Marta Kauffman definitely weren't pitching a "Ross eats the cast" finale, though that would have certainly helped their ratings during sweeps week.
Another weird thing? People often misquote it. They’ll say "Why doesn't Ross, the biggest friend..." but the word "largest" is what makes it so funny. It’s clinical. It’s biological. It sounds like something a biologist would say about a silverback gorilla or a blue whale.
Actionable insights for the curious
If you want to fully appreciate the "Ross eating his friends" lore, there are a few things you should do:
- Watch the source: Find the Futurama episode "The Problem with Popplers" (Season 2, Episode 15). It’s one of the best episodes of the series and puts the quote in its proper, hilarious context.
- Check the heights: Next time you watch Friends, look at the blocking of the scenes. You’ll notice how often David Schwimmer has to hunch over or sit down to stay in the same frame as Jennifer Aniston. He really is significantly larger than the rest of the cast.
- Use it correctly: The meme works best when applied to situations involving weird power dynamics. If you see a tiny dog bossing around a Great Dane, that is your moment.
Ultimately, Ross didn't eat the other five because he was too busy worrying about his three divorces and the accuracy of his dinosaur exhibits. But in a different galaxy, under the rule of Lrrr, the show might have ended a lot sooner—and a lot more violently.