Why Different Ways to Write Said Actually Make Your Story Worse

Why Different Ways to Write Said Actually Make Your Story Worse

You’ve probably seen those posters. They hang in middle school English classrooms, looking all bright and helpful, listing a hundred words to use instead of "said." Words like exclaimed, retorted, queried, or bellowed. Honestly, those posters are a trap. Most writers—even people who've been doing this for years—get obsessed with finding different ways to write said because they think "said" is boring. They think it's repetitive.

It’s not.

"Said" is invisible. It’s a punctuation mark in disguise. When you replace it with "he ejaculated" or "she vociferated," you aren't being descriptive; you're just standing in front of the reader and waving your arms, screaming, "Look at me! I’m writing!" It breaks the dream.

The Great Dialogue Tag Debate: Why "Said" is King

Elmore Leonard, the legendary crime novelist behind Get Shorty, had a famous rule about this. He said you should never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue. He believed the character's words should do the heavy lifting, not the tag. If you have to tell the reader that a character "threatened," then your dialogue wasn't threatening enough to begin with.

Think about it.

When you read a fast-paced thriller, your eyes skip over the tags. You're focused on the conflict. If every line ends with a different flamboyant verb, the rhythm gets clunky. It feels like driving over speed bumps every ten feet. You want a smooth ride.

Stephen King is another big advocate for the "simple is better" approach. In his book On Writing, he calls out the use of "he said menacingly" or "she said joyfully" as the mark of an amateur. He calls them "Adverbial Dialogue Tags," and he hates them. Like, really hates them. He argues that using these crutches is a sign that the writer doesn't trust the reader to understand the tone of the scene.

When "Said" Actually Fails

Now, look. I’m not saying you never use anything else. If a character is literally whispering because a killer is in the closet, write he whispered. If they are across a crowded football stadium, she shouted makes sense. These are physical descriptions of volume, not attempts to spice up the prose with a thesaurus.

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But most of the time? You're better off without the tag entirely.

Action Beats: The Secret Weapon

The best way to handle different ways to write said isn't to find a new verb. It's to use an action beat. Instead of "I'm leaving," he said sadly, try something like: "I'm leaving." He picked up his suitcase, his knuckles white against the leather.

See the difference?

One tells the reader the emotion. The other shows it. Action beats ground the reader in the physical space of the story. They give the characters something to do with their hands. It makes the scene feel like a movie playing in the mind rather than a transcript of a deposition.

You can mix these up to control the pacing. Short beats for high tension. Long, descriptive beats for slow, emotional moments.

Breaking the "He Said/She Said" Ping-Pong

Sometimes dialogue feels like a tennis match.
"Where were you?" she said.
"Out," he said.
"Doing what?" she said.
"Nothing," he said.

It's exhausting. If you have only two characters in a room, you can drop the tags altogether after the first couple of lines. The reader knows who is talking. If the voices are distinct enough—if one character uses slang and the other is a literal robot—you might not need a tag for pages.

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The goal is flow. You want the reader to forget they are reading words on a page. You want them to feel the heat of the argument or the chill of the breeze. Using fancy synonyms for "said" is the fastest way to remind them that this is all just a bunch of ink on paper.

Common Pitfalls and the "Said-Book" Era

Back in the early 20th century, there was this trend in pulp magazines where writers used the most ridiculous tags imaginable. We call these "Tom Swifties." It comes from the Tom Swift book series, where the author avoided "said" like the plague.

"I've lost my screwdriver," Tom said wrenchingly.

It's a joke now, but many writers still fall into this trap without realizing it. They think they are being "literary." They aren't. They’re just being loud.

The Psychology of Reading

When we read, our brains process "said" almost like a comma. It’s a functional piece of grammar. When we encounter a word like "remonstrated," our brain has to stop, look at the word, define it, and then apply it to the character. That split-second pause is a "micro-distraction." Accumulate enough of those, and the reader puts the book down. They might not even know why they're bored or frustrated, but the flow is gone.

How to Audit Your Own Writing

Go back through your latest draft. Use the "Find" tool for "said." Then look at every instance where you used something else. Ask yourself:

  1. Is this word describing a physical volume (whisper/shout)?
  2. Could the emotion be conveyed through the dialogue itself?
  3. Would an action beat (slamming a door, lighting a cigarette) be more effective?

If you find yourself using "gasped" or "sighed" as a dialogue tag, stop. You can't actually talk while gasping. It’s physically weird. Try: He gasped. "The bridge is down!"

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That’s much better. It separates the physical reaction from the speech.

The Nuance of Tone

Sometimes, very rarely, a "fancy" tag works. If you're writing a highly stylized, Victorian-era pastiche, maybe you can get away with "she observed" or "he countered." But even then, use them like salt. A little bit brings out the flavor; too much makes the whole thing inedible.

Modern readers, especially in the age of fast-paced digital content and "Discover" feeds, have zero patience for fluff. They want the meat. They want the story.

Practical Steps for Better Dialogue

If you're struggling to move away from repetitive tags, start by focusing on the "beat" method.

  • Identify the Core Emotion: If the character is angry, don't write "he said angrily." Have them break something. Or have them go deathly quiet.
  • Check Your Rhythm: Read your dialogue out loud. If the tags feel like they're tripping you up, delete them.
  • Vary Your Sentence Lengths: Use short, punchy lines of dialogue for conflict. Use longer, more flowing sentences for exposition (though keep exposition in dialogue to a minimum).
  • Trust Your Reader: They are smarter than you think. They don't need a map to understand that a character who just lost their job is sad.

Focus on the subtext. What is the character not saying? Often, the most powerful moments in a story happen in the gaps between the lines of dialogue, not in the tags that follow them.

Final Word on Style

At the end of the day, your job is to tell a story. Words are just the tools. You wouldn't use a gold-plated hammer to build a house if a regular steel one worked better and didn't break the wood. "Said" is your steel hammer. It's reliable. It's strong. It gets the job done without making a scene.

Keep your prose lean. Keep your tags simple. Let your characters speak for themselves.


Next Steps for Your Draft

Open your current manuscript and highlight every dialogue tag that isn't "said" or "asked." For each one, try to replace it with a physical action that shows the character's internal state. If the character is "muttering," give them a reason to look at the floor or fiddle with their keys. Delete any tag where the emotion is already obvious from the words being spoken. Finally, read the scene aloud—if you stumble over a tag, it’s a sign that it needs to go.