Why Can't Stop Won't Stop FF7 Rebirth is the Ultimate Test of Your Patience

Why Can't Stop Won't Stop FF7 Rebirth is the Ultimate Test of Your Patience

You've spent a hundred hours in Gaia. You’ve taken down weapons, mastered the synergy system, and probably spent way too much time playing cards with a talking dog. But then you hit the wall. It’s a side quest. It's called Can't Stop Won't Stop FF7 Rebirth, and honestly, it’s the most polarizing thing Square Enix has put in a game in a decade. Some people love the challenge. Others? They’re ready to chuck their PS5 controller out a window.

It’s a gauntlet.

Basically, this quest is the final "super-quest" of the Gold Saucer. It only shows up after you’ve cleared every other piece of business in the region. It’s the Shinra Middle Manager’s revenge. He’s back, he’s annoying, and he wants to see if you’re actually the champion you think you are.

Most players stumble into this thinking it’s just a victory lap. It isn't. It’s a grueling series of high-score challenges that touch almost every minigame in the Gold Saucer. If you haven't mastered G-Bike, 3D Brawler, and Chocobo Racing, you're going to have a bad time.

The Barrier to Entry is Real

You can’t just walk up and start this quest. Square Enix designed Can't Stop Won't Stop FF7 Rebirth as the ultimate endgame content for side-questers. To even see the quest marker appear at the Gold Saucer in Chapter 12, you have to complete every other side mission in the game. That means all 35 prior odd jobs.

It's a lot.

If you missed one back in Junon or the Corel Desert, the Middle Manager won't even talk to you. You'll see him standing there, looking smug, but the quest won't trigger. It’s the game’s way of saying "finish your vegetables before you get dessert." Though, calling this quest "dessert" is a bit of a stretch. It’s more like a spicy pepper—thrilling for some, painful for others.

Once you unlock it, the real nightmare begins. You aren't just playing these games; you’re playing them on "Pro" difficulty settings.

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Musclehead Colosseum: The First Hurdle

The quest kicks off with a specialized bout in the Musclehead Colosseum. If you’ve been coasting through the game on "Normal" difficulty without touching the Materia system, this is where the wheels fall off. You’re facing a specific set of enemies that require actual strategy.

Cloud has to go solo for part of this.

You need to be smart about your build. Most veterans recommend a high-magic setup with Quake or Fire linked to Elemental on your weapon, but honestly, it’s more about crowd control. The enemies here aren't just meat sacks; they have specific pressure triggers. If you aren't parrying, you're dying.

The Chocobo Race That Breaks People

After the Colosseum, you’re sent to the tracks. Chocobo racing in Rebirth is actually pretty deep compared to the original 1997 version, but the Can't Stop Won't Stop FF7 Rebirth version of the race is a different beast. You’re racing against the Ultimate Party Animal (UPA) himself.

He doesn't make mistakes.

If you’re using a balanced bird, you might struggle. Most players find success using Piko or a high-speed bird equipped with the Hyperion gear set. You need that initial burst of speed. The track is long, and if you get stuck behind the pack early on, the UPA will pull so far ahead that you’ll never catch him. It's not just about holding R2. You have to drift. You have to hit every speed gate. You have to pray.

G-Bike and the 3D Brawler Problem

Then there’s G-Bike. You need a score of 50,000. For some, this is the easiest part. For others, the bike’s handling feels like steering a shopping cart through a gravel pit. The trick here isn't just killing enemies; it's the blue panels. Hit every single one of them to keep your points multiplier high.

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But let’s talk about the elephant in the room: 3D Brawler.

This is where the Can't Stop Won't Stop FF7 Rebirth quest gets truly mean. You have to face the Shinra Middle Manager in a 3D boxing match. It’s a test of reaction time that feels slightly unfair because the animations are so subtle. He’ll twitch his left shoulder, and you have to know if that’s a hook, an uppercut, or a straight jab.

A lot of people "cheat" this by pausing the game. Seriously. You wait for him to wind up, hit the pause button, look at his arm position, and then hold the correct stick direction before unpausing. It’s a bit cheesy, sure. But when the quest is this demanding, who can blame you?

Queen’s Blood: The Final Stand

If you haven't been playing Queen's Blood throughout the game, this part will be your undoing. You have to beat the UPA in a high-stakes match. By this point in the game, you should have a deck built around Savage Weald or Shadowblood Queen. If you’re still rocking the starter deck, stop. Go back. Collect the legendary cards.

The UPA plays a very aggressive game. He’ll try to shut down your lanes early.

I’ve seen people lose this match ten times in a row because they didn't account for card replacement mechanics. You need cards that can destroy his pieces while buffing your own. It’s a mental chess match that serves as a perfect penultimate challenge for the quest.

The Infamous Bug That Almost Ruined the Game

We have to talk about the glitch. For a few weeks after launch, Can't Stop Won't Stop FF7 Rebirth was actually impossible to complete for many players. A patch (Version 1.020) accidentally broke the G-Bike portion of the quest. Even if you hit the high score, the game wouldn't recognize it.

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People were furious.

Imagine spending 120 hours to get the Platinum trophy, only to be stopped by a coding error in a bike minigame. Square Enix eventually fixed it, but the memory of that bug still haunts the forums. If you’re playing the game today, make sure your software is updated to the latest version. You don't want to hit 50,000 points only to realize the game doesn't care.

Why Bother? The Rewards

Is it worth it?

Completing this quest gives you the Gambler's Materia, which is... okay. It’s more of a novelty. But the real reward is the Manuscript for Cloud, which provides essential SP for his skill tree. More importantly, it’s a requirement for the "My Life as a Mercenary" trophy.

If you want that 100% completion mark, you have no choice. You have to suffer through the Middle Manager's ego.

How to Keep Your Sanity

Don't try to do this all in one sitting. Seriously. The frustration builds up, especially on the 3D Brawler or the Space Ranger shooter. If you find yourself missing easy shots in G-Bike, turn the console off. Walk away. The Gold Saucer music is catchy, but after four hours of it, it starts to sound like a fever dream.

Actionable Steps for Success:

  1. Check your quest log: Ensure every other region is marked "Complete." If you have a single green checkmark missing, the quest won't finish.
  2. Update your game: Verify you aren't playing on the bugged 1.020 launch version.
  3. Master the Pause: Use the pause-buffer trick for the 3D Brawler if your reflexes aren't what they used to be. It’s the difference between a 10-minute fight and a 2-hour meltdown.
  4. Gear Up the Chocobo: Don't use the standard gear. Buy the high-end stuff with Golden Plumes.
  5. Build a Queen's Blood Power Deck: Focus on cards like Cait Sith or Gi Nattak to flip the board in the late game.

This quest is a grind, but it’s the definitive way to say you’ve mastered Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. Just remember: it’s supposed to be a challenge. If it was easy, the Middle Manager wouldn't be such a jerk about it.