Why Boss's Day Always Feels Like a Surprise and What to Actually Do About It

Why Boss's Day Always Feels Like a Surprise and What to Actually Do About It

Honestly, it happens every single year. You walk into the breakroom, see a half-eaten grocery store cake and a card signed in three different colors of ink, and your stomach just drops. You missed it. Again. If you're frantically Googling to figure out when was Boss's Day because you think you might have slept through a major professional milestone, don't panic. You aren't the only one who forgets.

National Boss’s Day is officially observed on October 16th in the United States, Canada, and several other countries. It’s a date that’s been on the books for decades, yet it still manages to sneak up on about 90% of the workforce. If the 16th happens to land on a weekend, the holiday typically shifts to the closest working Monday or Friday, which only adds to the "Wait, is it today?" confusion that plagues office Slack channels every autumn.

The Weird History of National Boss's Day

It wasn't some corporate conspiracy cooked up by greeting card companies. Surprisingly. The whole thing started back in 1958 with a woman named Patricia Bays Haroski. She was working as a registration officer for State Farm Insurance in Deerfield, Illinois. Her boss? Her father.

She chose October 16th because it was her dad’s birthday. Talk about a daughter of the year move. She registered the holiday with the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, mainly because she felt young employees didn't really grasp how much pressure and hard work their supervisors were actually dealing with. She wanted to bridge the gap between management and the folks on the ground. Four years later, in 1962, Illinois Governor Otto Kerner made it official.

It’s kind of funny when you think about it. This massive international "day" we all stress over started as a birthday tribute from a daughter to her dad in a suburban insurance office.

When Was Boss's Day Historically Celebrated?

The date hasn't moved since 1958. However, the vibe of the day has changed massively. Back in the 60s and 70s, it was very much a "Sir" and "Ma'am" kind of affair. Very formal. Fast forward to the 2020s, and it’s become this weirdly polarizing event.

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Some people love it. They see it as a chance to thank a mentor who actually helped them land a promotion or navigated them through a messy project. Others? Not so much. There’s a whole school of thought—especially popular on LinkedIn and Reddit—that says "gifts should never flow up." The idea is that the person making the most money shouldn't be receiving gifts from the people making less. It's a valid point.

Because of this shift, if you're looking back at when was Boss's Day in recent years, you’ll notice the celebrations have moved away from expensive watches or fancy dinners toward simple "thank you" notes or a group-funded coffee.

Why the Date Matters (and Why We Forget)

The timing is actually terrible for most businesses. Mid-October is usually the heart of Q4 planning. Everyone is drowning in spreadsheets and end-of-year projections. It’s "crunch time." That’s why it’s so easy to miss.

Think about it.
October 1st? You’re starting the new month.
October 31st? Halloween.
October 16th? It’s just... there.

If you realized you missed the date, or you're prepping for next year, there’s a nuance to this that most HR manuals won't tell you. You have to read the room.

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If your boss is a "no-nonsense" type who hates being the center of attention, a surprise party is going to be a nightmare for everyone involved. On the flip side, if you work in a tight-knit startup where the CEO is basically your older sibling, ignoring it might feel a bit cold.

A few years back, a study by Hallmark (who, let's be real, have a vested interest here) suggested that a huge percentage of bosses just want to be told they’re doing a good job. They’re human. They have imposter syndrome too. They wonder if their team likes them or if everyone is just pretending.

Real Talk: Do You Have to Buy Something?

No. Honestly, you really shouldn't feel pressured to spend your own rent money on someone who earns more than you.

The best "Boss's Day" gestures I've seen in fifteen years of writing about workplace culture are almost always free. A specific, handwritten note about a time they supported you means ten times more than a generic "Best Boss" mug that’s going to end up in a Goodwill bin by March.

  • Be Specific: Instead of "Thanks for being great," try "I really appreciated how you handled that client call last Tuesday."
  • The Group Approach: If the team insists on a gift, keep it under $10 per person. Total.
  • The "Skip" Option: If your boss is toxic or the relationship is strictly transactional, it is perfectly okay to treat October 16th like any other Wednesday. You don't owe anyone emotional labor if the respect isn't mutual.

What If You Missed the Date?

So, you figured out when was Boss's Day and realized it was three days ago. Now what?

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Do you send an awkward "Happy Belated" email? Usually, no. That just highlights the fact that you forgot. The move here is to just wait for a natural moment of gratitude. Next time they give you helpful feedback or clear a roadblock for you, say: "You know, I was thinking about this around Boss's Day and forgot to mention it, but I really value how you manage [X]."

It sounds way more organic. It feels less like a chore and more like a genuine professional connection.

The Future of the Celebration

We’re seeing a lot of companies move toward "Employee Appreciation Day" (which is in March) as the primary focus, which makes sense. The power dynamic is shifting. But National Boss's Day persists because, at its core, leadership is lonely.

A good manager is a shield. They take the heat from the executives so the team can actually get work done. They deal with the budget cuts and the HR headaches that you never even hear about. October 16th is just a reminder to acknowledge that shield.

Actionable Steps for the Next Go-Round

  1. Mark the Calendar Now: Don't rely on your memory. Put a recurring alert for October 15th (the day before) so you aren't scrambling.
  2. Check the Day of the Week: If the 16th is a Saturday, the office "celebration" is likely Friday. If it's Sunday, look to Monday.
  3. Audit Your Relationship: Spend five minutes thinking about whether your supervisor has actually helped your career this year. If the answer is yes, a simple "thank you" is the only "gift" required.
  4. Keep it Low Key: Avoid anything that makes other coworkers feel uncomfortable or pressured to spend money. A digital card (like Kudoboard) is a great, low-pressure way to let everyone chime in without a forced collection plate going around the cubicles.

Ultimately, whether you think it’s a manufactured holiday or a meaningful tradition, the date remains a fixed point in the corporate calendar. It’s not about the cake. It’s about recognizing that the person in the "corner office" (or the top of the Zoom grid) is a person too.