Imagine waking up with a lump the size of a grapefruit in your groin. It’s hard, it’s purple, and it hurts so much you can’t even scream. By lunchtime, you're vomiting blood. By tomorrow, you’re dead. This was the reality in 1347. People were terrified. Naturally, they tried everything. Most folks today laugh at black death remedies like they were just a bunch of medieval idiots rubbing chickens on their butts, but there was actually a weird kind of logic behind it all.
History isn't just a list of dates. It's people trying not to die. When Yersinia pestis—the bacterium we now know caused the plague—hit Europe, it killed roughly 30% to 60% of the population. Doctors back then didn't know about germs. They believed in "miasma," which is basically just a fancy word for "stink." If it smells bad, it makes you sick. Honestly, when you're surrounded by rotting bodies and open sewers, that theory makes a lot of sense.
The Stink of Death and the Rise of Miasma Theory
Doctors in the 14th century, like the famous Guy de Chauliac, weren't just guessing. They were following the medical "science" of the time, which was heavily based on the ancient Greek ideas of Hippocrates and Galen. They thought the body was made of four humors: blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile. If these got out of whack, you got sick.
So, how do you fix "bad air"?
You fight smell with smell. People started carrying "pouncet boxes" or pomanders filled with ambergris, rose petals, musk, and spices. It’s why those iconic (and honestly terrifying) plague doctor masks had those long beaks. They weren't just for fashion or to look like creepy birds; they were stuffed with herbs like mint and cloves to filter out the "pestilential" air. It didn't work against the fleas, obviously, but it probably made the smell of a dying city slightly more bearable.
Vinegar: The Medieval Hand Sanitizer
One of the more effective black death remedies was actually something we still have in our pantries today: vinegar.
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There's this famous legend about the "Four Thieves Vinegar." Supposedly, a group of grave robbers in Marseille were caught looting the bodies of plague victims but never got sick. Their secret? They washed their hands and faces in a concoction of vinegar infused with garlic, rosemary, and sage. While the "magic" of the herbs is debatable, the acetic acid in the vinegar is a decent disinfectant. It might have actually repelled the fleas that carry the plague. It's one of the few things from that era that wasn't total nonsense.
Bloodletting and the Humoral Mess
If the air wasn't the problem, the blood was. Or so they thought.
Physicians would use lancets to open a vein and let the "corrupted" blood drain out. They’d do this near the buboes—those swollen lymph nodes. Sometimes they’d even use leeches. You've probably seen the woodcuts of people covered in little black worms. It was messy. It was painful. And because it weakened the immune system and involved unsterilized tools, it usually just helped the patient die faster.
- They’d find a vein.
- They’d cut.
- They’d wait for the "bad" black blood to stop flowing.
But wait, it gets weirder. Some doctors tried "cupping," where they’d place a heated glass over the skin to create a vacuum. The idea was to "draw out" the poison. Looking back, we know this was just bruising people who were already fighting for their lives, but at the time, it was cutting-edge medicine.
The Vicary Method and the Chicken Obsession
You might have heard of the "Vicary Method." It’s one of those black death remedies that sounds like a prank, but people took it seriously.
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Basically, you’d take a live chicken, pluck its backside, and strap it to your swollen buboes. The idea was that the chicken would "breathe" in the poison from your body. When the chicken got sick and died, you’d grab another one and repeat the process until the person got better or (more likely) the chicken supply ran out.
Was there any science here? Not really. But there was a belief in "transference"—the idea that disease could be moved from a human to an animal. It was desperate. People were watching their entire families disappear in a week. If someone told you a chicken would save your daughter, you’d go find a chicken.
The Weird World of Edible Gold and Crushed Emeralds
If you were rich, your black death remedies were a bit more expensive.
Doctors would prescribe "electuaries"—basically medicinal pastes—made of ground pearls or crushed emeralds mixed with syrup. Sometimes they’d drink "aurum potabile," which was literally drinkable gold. Imagine swallowing shards of gems while your organs are failing. It probably caused internal tearing, making a horrific situation even worse.
The Theriac Obsession
Then there was Theriac. This was the "wonder drug" of the Middle Ages. It had over 60 ingredients, including opium, snake skin, and tons of honey. It took months to ferment. While the snake skin did nothing, the opium probably helped with the pain. It was the only thing that actually provided any relief, even if it didn't cure the underlying infection.
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Cleanliness, God, and the Scourge
Since nobody knew about bacteria, many turned to the spiritual. The plague was seen as "The Great Mortality," a punishment from God. This led to the rise of the Flagellants—groups of men who would wander from town to town, whipping themselves with leather thongs tipped with metal studs. They thought that if they punished themselves enough, God would stop the plague.
Ironically, these groups probably spread the disease faster. They moved between towns, bled everywhere, and gathered in huge crowds.
On the flip side, some cities got smart. Venice started the "quarantena," which is where we get the word quarantine. They forced ships to sit at anchor for 40 days before anyone could come ashore. This was a massive breakthrough. It didn't rely on herbs or magic; it relied on isolation. They noticed that if you stayed away from sick people, you didn't get sick. It’s the most effective "remedy" we still use today.
What We Actually Learned
The plague eventually faded, not because of the chickens or the gold, but because the survivors developed some level of immunity and the social structure changed. But these black death remedies left a mark on medical history. They represent the transition from pure superstition to the very early, messy beginnings of public health.
The horror of the 1300s forced humans to start looking at the environment. We started cleaning streets. We started building better sewers. We started realizing that maybe, just maybe, what we do in the physical world matters more than how many emeralds we can swallow.
Actionable Insights from History
While we aren't dealing with the Yersinia pestis in the same way today, the history of these remedies offers some surprisingly modern takeaways for understanding health crises:
- Sanitization matters more than scent: The "Miasma Theory" was wrong about the cause (air) but right about the solution (cleaning up the environment). Always prioritize actual sterilization over just making a space "smell" clean.
- Quarantine is the gold standard: The Venetian 40-day rule proved that isolation is the most effective way to break the chain of any contagion.
- Beware of "Wonder Cures": Just as people in 1348 spent fortunes on crushed pearls and "Thieves Vinegar," modern silver-bullet cures often lack clinical evidence. Look for treatments that address the cause, not just the symptoms.
- The Power of Pain Management: Theriac worked largely because of its opium content. In any severe illness, managing the patient's comfort is a vital, though often overlooked, part of the recovery process.
To understand the plague is to understand human desperation. We are a species that will try anything to survive, even if it involves a chicken and a prayer. Next time you use a disinfectant wipe, remember the 14th-century doctors in their beak masks—they were the ones who had to fail so we could eventually figure out how to succeed.