Why Be Who You Are For Your Pride Is Still the Best Advice You’ll Ever Get

Why Be Who You Are For Your Pride Is Still the Best Advice You’ll Ever Get

Honestly, the phrase "Pride" has become a bit of a corporate buzzword lately. You see the rainbows on credit cards and the sudden influx of multi-colored logos every June, and it’s easy to feel like the actual soul of the movement is getting buried under a mountain of polyester flags and marketing budgets. But when you strip away the glitter and the sponsorships, the core message remains something incredibly radical and deeply personal: the choice to be who you are for your pride. It sounds simple. It isn't.

Living authentically is a high-stakes game.

We talk about "coming out" as if it’s a one-time event, like a graduation or a wedding. In reality, it’s a relentless, daily series of decisions. Do you correct your coworker when they assume your partner's gender? Do you hold your partner's hand in a neighborhood you don't know well? These tiny moments are where the real work happens. Being yourself isn't just about a parade; it’s about the quiet, sometimes terrifying bravery of refusing to shrink so others feel comfortable.

The Mental Tax of the Closet

Psychology is pretty clear on this: hiding your identity is exhausting. Researchers like Ilan Meyer have spent decades studying "minority stress," which basically describes the chronic high levels of stress faced by members of stigmatized groups. When you can’t be who you are for your pride, your brain is constantly scanning for threats. You’re editing your pronouns. You’re monitoring your body language. You’re checking the room for exits, both literal and metaphorical.

This isn't just "feeling a bit nervous." It’s a physiological load.

Dr. Meyer’s work, particularly the Minority Stress Model, suggests that this external pressure leads to internal turmoil—stuff like anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues. It’s why finding a community is so vital. When you see other people living loudly, it gives your nervous system a chance to finally, mercifully, power down that constant threat-detection software.

Authenticity Is Not a Marketing Strategy

There’s a lot of "rainbow washing" out there. We’ve all seen it. A company that donates to anti-LGBTQ+ politicians during the year will suddenly have a "Love is Love" t-shirt for sale the second June 1st hits. It feels gross because it is. But don't let the commercialization of the movement make you cynical about the movement itself.

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The history of Pride wasn't built in a boardroom. It was built on the streets by people like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera—people who had absolutely nothing to gain financially and everything to lose socially. They weren't trying to be "influencers." They were trying to survive. When we talk about the importance to be who you are for your pride, we are honoring a lineage of people who fought for the right to exist in public spaces without being arrested or assaulted.

It’s about dignity.

I think we sometimes forget that Pride started as a riot. It was a reaction to police harassment at the Stonewall Inn in 1969. It wasn't polite. It wasn't curated for Instagram. It was messy, loud, and angry. That anger was a tool—it was the energy required to break through the silence that had kept the community invisible for generations.

Small Acts of Radical Self-Love

You don't have to be on a float to live authentically. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is just exist, plainly and clearly, in your everyday life.

Think about the impact of a teacher who mentions their same-sex spouse in passing. Or a trans teenager who chooses a name that finally fits. Or an older person coming out in their 70s because they’re tired of the weight of the secret. These aren't just personal milestones; they are signals to everyone else that it is safe—or at least possible—to breathe.

  • Self-Reflection: Take a second to ask yourself where you're still "masking."
  • Boundaries: It's okay to stop explaining yourself to people who aren't committed to understanding you.
  • Community: Find people who celebrate your "too much." If you’re told you’re too loud, too flamboyant, or too different, find the people who think you’re just right.

Why Visibility Still Matters in 2026

You might hear people say, "Why do we still need Pride? Everyone can get married now." Aside from the fact that marriage equality isn't the finish line for human rights, visibility remains a literal lifesaver. According to data from The Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ youth who have at least one accepting adult in their life are 40% less likely to attempt suicide.

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One person.

When you choose to be who you are for your pride, you might unknowingly be that one person for someone else. You are a living proof-of-concept. You show that a queer life can be a full life, a happy life, and a boring-in-a-good-way life.

There is also the legislative reality. In various parts of the world, and even within different states in the US, rights are being rolled back. Trans rights, in particular, are under heavy fire. In this climate, being visible is a form of resistance. It’s saying, "I am here, I am a constituent, and I am not going away." It moves the conversation from abstract political debates to real, human faces.

The Complicated Reality of "Being Yourself"

Let's be real: it’s not always safe to be out.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that everything will be perfect the moment you "live your truth." For some, coming out means losing family, housing, or employment. The advice to be who you are for your pride has to be tempered with the reality of personal safety. Authenticity is a journey, and you are the only one who gets to decide the pace.

If you aren't in a place where it's safe to be fully out, that doesn't make you "less than." It makes you a survivor. You can still hold that pride internally until you find a space that is worthy of your vulnerability. Pride is as much about the internal shift—the moment you stop agreeing with the people who hate you—as it is about the external expression.

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Real Talk: How to Actually Do the Work

If you’re looking to move toward a more authentic version of yourself, it usually doesn't happen overnight. It’s a series of pivots.

  1. Audit your social circle. Are you hanging out with people who make you feel like you have to perform? If your friends make "jokes" that make you flinch, they aren't your people.
  2. Consume queer media. Read books by queer authors, watch movies with actual representation (not just the "best friend" trope), and listen to podcasts. It helps normalize your own experience in your own head.
  3. Practice in low-stakes environments. If you’re nervous about a new name or pronouns, try them out at a coffee shop or with a trusted online community before bringing them to the dinner table.
  4. Forgive yourself. You’re going to have days where you feel brave and days where you just want to hide. That’s fine. You don’t owe the world a 24/7 performance of "Pride."

The End Goal Isn't Perfection

At the end of the day, the goal isn't to reach some perfect state of self-actualization where you never feel insecure again. That’s a myth sold by "self-help" gurus. The goal is simply to close the gap between who you are on the inside and who you present to the world.

When you be who you are for your pride, you stop wasting energy on the "mask." You’ll find you have more brain space for your hobbies, your career, and your relationships. You’ll be surprised how much heavy lifting you were doing just to stay hidden.

So, stop waiting for the "perfect" time or the "perfect" level of acceptance from everyone around you. That day might not come. Instead, look for the small windows of opportunity to be a little more honest, a little more bold, and a lot more you.

Actionable Next Steps

  • Identify One Mask: Think of one situation this week where you usually hide a part of yourself. Try to dial back the act by just 10%. See how it feels.
  • Support Grassroots Groups: Instead of buying a rainbow shirt from a massive corporation, donate that money to local organizations like the Transgender Law Center or a local LGBTQ+ youth shelter.
  • Educate Without Burdening: If you’re an ally, don't ask your queer friends to explain their identity to you. Do the legwork. Read The ABC's of LGBT+ by Ash Hardell or The Stonewall Reader.
  • Create Your Own Ritual: Pride doesn't have to be a parade. It can be a dinner with chosen family, a solo hike, or just a day where you wear that one outfit you’ve been "saving" because you were worried what people would think.

Living your pride is a lifelong practice. It’s about taking up space in a world that often wants you to be smaller. Take the space. You’ve earned it.