Why And So It Goes by Billy Joel is Still the Hardest Song to Listen To

Why And So It Goes by Billy Joel is Still the Hardest Song to Listen To

Billy Joel has a reputation for being the "Piano Man," the guy who writes the stadium-shaking anthems like Piano Man or the high-energy history lessons of We Didn’t Start the Fire. But there’s a quiet, devastating corner of his discography that hits differently. It’s the kind of song that makes you pull the car over. And So It Goes by Billy Joel isn’t just a ballad; it’s a masterclass in emotional resignation.

Honestly, it’s a weirdly brave song. Most pop stars want to sound powerful or at least tragically misunderstood when they sing about heartbreak. Joel does something else here. He sounds defeated. He sounds like someone who has already accepted that the person he loves is going to leave him, and he’s just waiting for the door to click shut. It’s heavy.

The Real Story Behind the Heartbreak

You can't talk about this track without talking about Elle Macpherson. Yeah, the supermodel. Back in the mid-80s, before he married Christie Brinkley, Joel had a brief but intense relationship with Macpherson. She was young—only about 19 or 20—and he was in his mid-30s. He knew it wasn't going to last. He knew he was basically a "place-holder" in her life while she was becoming a global icon.

That’s where the line "But you can make decisions too / And you can have this heart to break" comes from. It’s not a romantic invitation. It’s a warning. He’s saying, I know how this ends, but I’m going to let you destroy me anyway because the time we have right now is worth the eventual wreckage. That kind of vulnerability is rare. Usually, Joel is the witty narrator, the observer. Here, he’s the victim of his own choices. It’s stripped back. Raw. Just a piano and a voice that sounds like it hasn’t slept in three days.


Why the Melody of And So It Goes Hits So Deep

Musically, the song is a bit of a trick. It sounds simple, like a hymn you’d hear in a dusty church, but it’s actually incredibly sophisticated. He wrote it in 1983, though it didn't show up on an album until 1989's Storm Front. He sat on it for years. Maybe it was too personal. Maybe it just didn't fit the upbeat vibe of An Innocent Man.

He uses these dissonant chords that shouldn't work in a pop song. They create this sense of "unrest." You keep waiting for the music to resolve into a happy, bright sound, but it never quite gets there. It stays in that gray area. It’s the musical equivalent of a sigh.

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The King's Singers and the Choral Legacy

If you grew up in a choir, you probably know this song better than the average radio listener. And So It Goes by Billy Joel became a massive staple for a cappella groups and choral ensembles, largely thanks to the arrangement by Bob Chilcott for The King’s Singers.

Why does it work so well for voices? Because the lyrics are so conversational.

  1. The phrasing follows natural human speech.
  2. There are no vocal gymnastics.
  3. The power comes from the silence between the notes.

When you hear a group of twenty people singing "In every heart there is a room," the communal loneliness is almost overwhelming. It’s one of the few pop songs that transitions to the classical world without losing its soul. Most pop-to-classical covers feel cheesy. This one feels like it was always meant to be a requiem.


Breaking Down the Lyrics: More Than Just a Sad Song

"Every time I've held a rose, it seems I only felt the thorns."

Okay, on paper, that sounds like a cliché you'd find on a Hallmark card. But in the context of the song, it works because of the delivery. Joel doesn't belt it out. He almost mumbles it. It's the realization of a man who has been through a few divorces and a lot of public scrutiny and has decided that pain is just the price of entry for feeling anything at all.

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Then there’s the title phrase. And so it goes. It’s such a passive way to end a thought. It’s not "I will survive" or "I’ll get over you." It’s just... acceptance. It’s the verbal equivalent of shrugging your shoulders while your heart breaks.

A Departure from the Storm Front Sound

Storm Front was a loud album. It had I Go to Extremes and The Downeaster 'Alexa'. It was produced by Mick Jones of Foreigner, so it had that big, 80s rock sheen. And then, right at the end, you get this tiny, fragile piano piece. It’s the perfect closer because it strips away all the production and reminds everyone that at his core, Billy Joel is just a guy at a keyboard who knows how to make you cry.

People often compare it to She’s Got a Way, but that’s a "young man’s" song. It’s idealistic. And So It Goes is a "grown-up" song. It’s for people who have been through the ringer and don't expect happy endings anymore, but still find beauty in the mess.


Common Misconceptions About the Song

A lot of people think this song was written for Christie Brinkley because she was his most famous wife and the inspiration for Uptown Girl. Nope. As mentioned, the timeline doesn't fit. This was the "pre-Christie" heartbreak.

Others think it’s a song about death. While it’s certainly played at plenty of funerals, it’s really about the death of a relationship before it’s even over. It’s about the "pre-mourning" phase. It’s about being "safe within oneself" because you’re too scared to be open, even though you’re doing it anyway.

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  • Written: 1983
  • Released: 1989
  • Key: C Major (but it feels much darker)
  • Inspiration: Elle Macpherson
  • Best Version: The original studio version, though the live 1990 Yankee Stadium performance is a close second.

How to Truly Appreciate the Track Today

If you want to understand the impact of And So It Goes by Billy Joel, you have to listen to it when you’re actually lonely. Not "bored" lonely, but "I just realized I don't know who I am without this person" lonely.

Listen for the way his fingers hit the keys. You can hear the mechanical "thump" of the piano action in some recordings. It’s intentional. It makes it feel like he’s in the room with you. There are no synthesizers hiding the flaws.

Actionable Insights for Musicians and Songwriters

If you're a writer, study this track. Seriously.

  • Don't over-write. The lyrics are simple. "I am a man who will admit to all the things that I have done." That’s a plain sentence, but it’s powerful because it’s honest.
  • Use space. Notice how much time Joel leaves between phrases. He lets the listener breathe.
  • Subvert expectations. Use a major key for a sad song. It creates a "bittersweet" tension that a minor key can't touch.

The song teaches us that you don't need a massive orchestra to convey massive grief. Sometimes, one person and a piano is more than enough to fill a stadium.

To get the most out of this song's history, track down the 12 Gardens Live version. You can hear the age in his voice, which adds a whole new layer of meaning to the "and so it goes" sentiment. It’s no longer a young man predicting his future; it’s an older man looking back at his past.

Compare the studio version from 1989 with any live performance from the 2020s. The way the audience goes silent the second those first four notes are played tells you everything you need to know about its staying power. It isn't a radio hit. It's a soul hit.