You’ve been lied to about "decision fatigue." Most people think it’s this grand, dramatic draining of the soul that happens after a long day at the office, but it’s actually much smaller and more annoying than that. It’s the three minutes you spend staring at the cereal aisle. It's the "I don't know, what do you want for dinner?" loop that ruins relationships. That’s where 4 choices & a soup comes in.
It sounds like a weird lunch order. It’s not. It is a mental framework designed to kill the "paradox of choice" before it kills your afternoon.
I first heard a variation of this from a high-level creative director who was managing forty different projects at once. He didn't have time for a 50-item to-do list. He had his "four and a soup." Once I started applying it to my own workflow, the constant humming anxiety in the back of my head—the one that says you’re forgetting something important—just sort of went away.
What 4 Choices & a Soup Actually Means
We are wired to handle small numbers. When you give a human being twenty options, they freeze. When you give them two, they feel restricted. But five? Five is the sweet spot.
In this framework, your "4 choices" represent your high-leverage, non-negotiable tasks or decisions for the day. These are the big rocks. The "soup" is everything else. It’s the fluid, messy, low-energy stuff that fills the gaps.
Think of it this way.
Most productivity systems fail because they treat every task like it's a "choice." Answering an email isn't a choice; it's maintenance. Writing a pitch deck is a choice. Choosing to fix your relationship with a difficult client is a choice. By labeling only four things as "choices," you're essentially telling your brain: these are the only things that deserve my limited supply of willpower. The soup? The soup is the administrative drizzle. It’s the 15-minute tasks, the phone calls, the dishwashing, the "checking Slack." It’s liquid. It fits into whatever space is left over after the four choices are dealt with.
The Psychology of the Small List
There is a reason why George Miller’s famous 1956 paper, "The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two," is still cited in every psychology 101 class. Our working memory is tiny. It’s basically a sticky note. If you try to put ten things on it, the ink bleeds and you can’t read any of them.
When you use 4 choices & a soup, you are respecting your biology.
You aren't a machine. You can't "optimize" your way out of being a primate with a limited prefrontal cortex. By narrowing your focus to four primary objectives, you allow yourself to actually achieve "flow." Flow doesn't happen when you're jumping between sixteen different tabs. It happens when you have clear boundaries.
Why We Fail at Prioritizing
Most people fail because they think everything is a priority. If everything is a priority, nothing is.
We’ve all been there. You wake up, you drink your coffee, and you look at a list that has "Finish Q3 Report" right next to "Buy Cat Litter." Your brain, being the lazy organ it is, will choose the cat litter every single time. It's an easy win. It gives you a tiny hit of dopamine. But it doesn't move the needle on your life or your career.
4 choices & a soup forces a hierarchy.
The "choices" are the things that make you feel uncomfortable. They are the things you’ve been procrastinating on. The "soup" is your comfort zone. By separating them, you stop lying to yourself about how productive you’re being.
The Real-World Application: A Day in the Life
Let’s look at how this actually looks on paper. This isn't an illustrative example; this is a literal transcript of my Tuesday:
The 4 Choices:
- Finalize the contract for the new freelancer (High stakes, requires focus).
- Record the three video modules for the course (High energy, easy to skip).
- Have the "difficult conversation" with the landlord about the leak (Emotional labor).
- Outline the strategy for the March launch (Strategic thinking).
The Soup:
- Answer emails.
- Fold the laundry.
- Renew the car registration.
- Quick check-in with the team.
- Researching new ergonomic chairs (classic procrastination, honestly).
Notice something? The soup takes up more time, but the choices take up more weight.
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If I only get the soup done, I’ve had a "busy" day but a useless one. If I get the four choices done and the soup sits on the stove for another day? I’ve won. The house might be messy and my inbox might be full, but the big things moved forward.
Dealing With "Soup Creep"
The biggest threat to this system is "soup creep." This is when the fluid, easy tasks start convincing you they are actually "choices."
"But I have to answer this email right now!"
Do you? Really?
Probably not. Most emails are just someone else putting their "soup" on your plate. To make 4 choices & a soup work, you have to be a bit of a jerk about your time. You have to guard those four slots like a bouncer at an exclusive club.
If a new task comes in at 11:00 AM, it doesn't get to bump one of the four choices. It goes into the soup. If the soup gets too big, you just dump some of it out. You don't dump the choices.
Breaking the Perfectionism Trap
One of the reasons this works is that it’s inherently imperfect. "Soup" is a messy word. It implies that the rest of your life is a bit of a jumble, and that’s okay.
We spend so much time trying to have a "perfectly balanced life." We want the perfect morning routine, the perfect diet, the perfect workout. It’s exhausting. And it’s fake. Nobody actually lives like that unless they’re selling you a $500 productivity course.
The 4 choices & a soup method accepts the chaos. It says, "Look, things are going to be messy. You’re going to have emails you didn't answer and chores you didn't do. But as long as these four things happen, the day is a success."
It’s permission to be human.
How to Start Tomorrow
Don't go out and buy a new planner. Don't download a new app. You don't need another subscription.
Tonight, before you go to sleep, get a plain piece of paper. Or use the "Notes" app on your phone, whatever. Write down four things. Just four. These are your choices. They should be specific. Not "work on the project," but "Write the introduction for the project."
Underneath that, write "Soup."
List everything else that’s bothering you. All the little errands, the tiny pings, the chores.
Tomorrow, you don't touch the soup until at least two of your choices are checked off. Better yet, don't touch the soup until all four are done. You’ll find that the soup actually tastes better when you aren't eating it out of guilt.
The Nuance of the "Soup"
There’s a subtle art to the soup. Sometimes, the soup is actually restorative.
If you’ve just spent three hours on a "choice"—say, deep-coding or writing a complex legal brief—your brain is fried. You can't jump straight into another choice. That’s when you stir the soup. You do the dishes. You answer the easy "yes/no" emails. You clear the low-level clutter.
This is called "productive procrastination." You’re still doing things that need to be done, but you’re doing them as a way to let your brain cool down. The mistake people make is trying to live entirely in the soup because it’s easy, or trying to live entirely in the choices because they want to be a "high achiever."
Both lead to burnout. One leads to a life where nothing happens; the other leads to a life where you break.
Why 4 Choices & a Soup is Better Than "Eat the Frog"
You’ve probably heard of "Eat the Frog." The idea is you do the hardest thing first.
It’s fine advice, but it’s often too rigid. Sometimes the "frog" is so big you just stare at it all day and do nothing. 4 choices & a soup is more flexible. It gives you four "frogs" of varying sizes, and a bucket of "water" (the soup) to help them go down.
It recognizes that energy levels fluctuate. Maybe you don't do Choice #1 at 9:00 AM. Maybe you do Choice #3 because it’s a bit lighter, then you move to the big one. As long as you stay within the framework of the four, you’re winning.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
- Making the choices too big: "Write a book" is not a choice. "Write 500 words" is a choice. If the task is too big, you’ll avoid it, and you’ll end up drowning in the soup.
- Letting people add to your choices: Your boss, your spouse, your kids—they all have things they want you to do. Those are almost always "soup." Keep your choices yours.
- Guilt over the soup: You will never finish the soup. That’s the point of soup. There will always be more tasks. The goal isn't to empty the pot; it's to make sure you didn't forget to eat the main course.
The Impact on Mental Health
Honestly, the biggest benefit I’ve seen isn't even productivity. It's the sleep.
When you lie down at night and you haven't defined your day, your brain loops through every single thing you could have done. It’s a never-ending reel of "shoulds."
But when you use 4 choices & a soup, you have a metric for "enough." If you did your four choices, you are done. You have earned your rest. You can look at the mountain of soup remaining and say, "I’ll stir that tomorrow."
That kind of mental clarity is rare. It’s the difference between being a slave to your to-do list and being the person who actually writes it.
Actionable Next Steps
- Identify your current "Soup": Spend five minutes writing down every single tiny task currently hovering in your brain. Get it all out.
- Select your 4 Choices for tomorrow: Look at your big goals. Pick four specific actions that move you closer to them. Write them at the top of a new list.
- Set a "Soup Gate": Decide on a time (like 2:00 PM) or a milestone (2 choices completed) before which you are not allowed to touch any "soup" tasks.
- Audit your day: At 5:00 PM, look at what you actually did. Did a soup task sneak into your "choice" list? If so, why did you let it in? Adjust for the next day.