Look, we've all been there. You’re sitting at the campfire in Baldur’s Gate 3, the music is swelling, and suddenly Gale is looking at you with those "I might explode but I’m sensitive" eyes. Choosing between all romance options BG3 offers isn't just a gameplay mechanic; it’s a commitment that defines your entire 100-hour playthrough. Some of these relationships are sweet, some are toxic as hell, and at least one involves a bear. If you’re trying to figure out who deserves your Heart of the Gate, you need to know that Larian didn't just write "dating sims" for these characters. They wrote trauma responses, power dynamics, and genuine growth arcs.
Getting it right matters. If you mess up a dialogue choice in Act 1, you might find yourself locked out of a romance by Act 3 when you actually start catching feelings.
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The Origin Characters: High Stakes and Heavy Baggage
Most players gravitate toward the core group. These are the ones who have been with you since the nautiloid, and honestly, they have the most fleshed-out content.
Shadowheart is the statistical favorite for a reason. Her romance is a slow burn. If you like the "I can fix her" or "we can be better together" trope, she’s the go-to. It starts with a bottle of wine by the cliffside and ends with some of the most emotionally resonant scenes in the game. But beware: her path is heavily dictated by a massive choice in Act 2 regarding her deity, Shar. If you push her too hard in one direction, the romance doesn't just change—it can turn incredibly dark or end entirely.
Then there's Astarion. People are obsessed. He’s the high-elf vampire spawn who treats trauma with sarcasm and biting wit. Dating him is complicated because, for a long time, he’s basically using you for protection. It’s one of the few romances where "approval" doesn't always mean "doing the right thing." Sometimes he likes it when you’re a jerk. To actually reach a healthy place with him, you have to navigate his quest for ascension. Do you let him become a literal god-tier vampire? If you do, the power dynamic shifts, and you become his consort—which sounds cool until you realize you've lost your autonomy.
Gale is the wizard who literally has a magical nuke in his chest. His romance is very "theatre kid" energy. Lots of looking at stars and talking about the Weave. It’s intimate and heavy on the magical metaphors. The trick with Gale is managing his ambition. He’s prone to "Godhood" complexes. If you want a stable, loving relationship, you have to keep his ego in check.
Lae'zel will probably try to fight you. That’s her love language. It’s a physical, aggressive start that mellows into something surprisingly tender. Seeing a Githyanki warrior learn what a sunset is or how to value a partner above her Queen is genuinely moving. She’s probably the most straightforward romance—be strong, be loyal, and don't take her crap.
Karlach is the golden retriever of the group, except she’s a ten-foot-tall tiefling with an infernal engine for a heart. Her romance is heartbreaking because she literally cannot touch you for a good chunk of the game without burning you to a crisp. It’s a race against time to fix her engine. It’s high energy, high emotion, and requires a lot of iron (literally).
Wyll is the traditionalist. He wants the dancing, the courting, and the formal declarations. It’s the "cleanest" romance, though his pact with the devil Mizora adds a constant layer of "my girlfriend is a literal monster who hates you."
The Non-Origin Surprises
You aren't limited to just the people in your starting camp. Halsin and Minthara represent the two extremes of the game’s morality.
Halsin is the Archdruid who is very... open. If you’re looking for a polyamorous arrangement, Halsin is usually the one who facilitates that. He’s also the source of the infamous bear scene. It’s a very "nature-focused" romance that doesn't really kick in until much later in the game, specifically Act 3.
Minthara is a different beast entirely. Originally, you had to commit some pretty horrific acts (like raiding the Emerald Grove) to get her. Larian has since made it easier to recruit her on a "good" run through some knock-out mechanics, but her romance remains one of the most intense. She’s fiercely protective and views the world as a series of conquests. It’s a power-couple vibe. If you want to rule the world, she’s the one holding the crown for you.
The "Secret" and Late-Game Encounters
The game doesn't stop at the main party. There are "flings" and specific scenes that don't necessarily count as full-blown relationships but are definitely part of all romance options BG3 lists.
- The Emperor: Yes, the Mind Flayer. Without spoiling too much, there is a moment where the "dream visitor" gets very close. It’s weird, it’s cosmic, and it’s definitely a choice you can make.
- Mizora: Wyll’s patron. You can have a one-night stand with her in Act 3. It will absolutely piss off your primary romantic partner, but the cinematic is... memorable.
- Sharess' Caress: The brothel in Wyrm’s Crossing offers various encounters, including the Drow twins. These can even involve your primary partner if they’re open to it (Halsin and Astarion usually are; others not so much).
Why Most Players Fail Their Desired Romance
The biggest mistake is thinking "Approval" is a currency you just spend. It’s more like a gate. You need a certain level of approval to trigger specific scenes, but the timing of those scenes is what matters.
Most romances must be initiated in Act 1. If you haven't shared a moment with Shadowheart at the tiefling party, or if Gale hasn't shown you his "magic trick" by the time you hit the Shadow-Cursed Lands, you're likely locked out.
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The game also tracks "flags." For example, with Karlach, if you don't talk to Dammon the smith in both Act 1 and Act 2 to cool her down, you simply cannot progress. You can have 100/100 approval and she'll still just be your "bestie" because her heart is still 1000 degrees.
Complexity in Choice: Polyamory and Breakups
Baldur's Gate 3 is pretty realistic about jealousy. Most of the "Origin" characters are monogamous. If you try to date Shadowheart and Lae'zel at the same time, they will eventually force you to choose. Usually, this happens shortly after entering Act 2.
Halsin is the outlier. He’s fine with being a "side" partner, provided your main partner agrees. Astarion and Shadowheart are typically okay with this, while characters like Gale or Wyll will flat-out refuse.
Breaking up is also an option. You can end a relationship at almost any time through dialogue, but be prepared—the voice acting is brutal. Larian made sure you feel like a terrible person for dumping Karlach.
The Nuance of the Dark Urge
If you’re playing as the Dark Urge (Durge), the romances hit differently. There is a specific scene in Act 2 where your "Urge" tries to make you kill your lover. Successfully resisting this—or failing—leads to some of the most unique dialogue in the game. It adds a layer of "protection vs. danger" that a standard custom character (Tav) just doesn't get. Astarion, in particular, has a lot of unique sympathy for a Durge player because he understands the feeling of not being in control of your own body.
How to Guarantee Your Romance Progresses
- Long Rest Frequently: This is the #1 mistake. Most romance beats are tied to camp cutscenes. If you go 10 hours without a Long Rest, the game "stacks" scenes, and you might skip a romance trigger entirely.
- Talk After Every Major Event: When a big boss dies or a quest ends, go talk to your intended partner. They almost always have a new reaction that can lead to a romantic dialogue tree.
- Check Your Tags: If you are a Paladin, certain romantic actions might break your oath. If you are a Githyanki, Lae'zel has unique dialogue. Use your background to your advantage.
- The Act 2 "Lock-In": Almost every major romance has a "point of no return" in Act 2. For Shadowheart, it’s the Nightsong. For Astarion, it’s dealing with the drow blood merchant Araj or killing Yurgir. Make sure you’ve completed their personal quest beats before finishing the act.
Choosing from all romance options BG3 offers isn't about finding the "best" one; it's about which story you want to tell. Whether it’s a tragic tale of two monsters trying to be human or a goofy wizard learning to chill out, the game rewards you for being consistent. Stick to your choices, rest often, and maybe keep some fire resistance potions handy if you’re eyeing Karlach.