Music fans are basically detectives. When Demi Lovato dropped the track "Ruin the Friendship" back in 2017, the internet didn't just listen; it went into a full-blown investigative frenzy. The central question that still pops up in Reddit threads and TikTok deep dives is simple: who is ruin the friendship about taylor swift or was it actually about someone else entirely?
It’s a tangled web.
Taylor and Demi have a history that’s... let's call it "complicated." They’ve been friends, then not friends, then "supportive acquaintances," and then seemingly distant again. This constant ebb and flow of their relationship makes the "Ruin the Friendship" rumors feel plausible to people who love a good celebrity drama. But if you actually look at the lyrics and the timeline, the Taylor theory starts to get a little shaky.
The Lyrics That Started the Fire
The song is suggestive. There’s no way around that. Demi sings about a tension that’s been building up between two people who are supposedly just friends. It’s about wanting to cross that line. "Put down your cigar and pick me up," Demi sings. Then there's the mention of "no more boundaries."
People immediately looked at Taylor. Why? Because the two had been seen hanging out around that time, and fans are always looking for a hidden meaning in every pop lyric. They wanted it to be about Taylor. The idea of two of the biggest pop stars in the world having a secret, tension-filled friendship is the kind of narrative that fuels a thousand fanfictions.
But here’s the thing.
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Taylor doesn’t smoke cigars. Like, ever. If you’re writing a song about someone, you usually include details that actually fit them. This one tiny detail—the cigar—is often the first thing that debunkers point to when arguing that the song isn't about Swift.
If Not Taylor, Then Who?
Most people who actually follow Demi’s life closely have a different suspect in mind: Nick Jonas.
The evidence for Nick is pretty overwhelming compared to the Taylor theory. They were best friends for years. They toured together. They ran a record label together. They had the kind of intense, platonic-but-maybe-not relationship that perfectly fits the vibe of "Ruin the Friendship."
Demi even admitted in interviews around the release of the album Tell Me You Love Me that she sent the song to the person it was about. She described the experience as incredibly nerve-wracking. When asked if the person liked it, she said they did, but that things were "awkward" for a bit. Nick Jonas, when asked about it later, was famously coy but didn't exactly deny that he and Demi had explored those boundaries at some point.
The Taylor Swift Connection: Why the Rumor Persists
So, if the evidence points so strongly to Nick, why does the search for who is ruin the friendship about taylor swift still trend?
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It’s mostly about the timing of their public "feuds." Demi has been vocal in the past about her issues with Taylor’s "squad" culture. She once famously said that "certain people" don't do enough for women's empowerment, which many took as a direct shot at Taylor. When you have that kind of public friction, fans tend to project every "friendship" or "enemy" song onto that relationship.
Also, we have to talk about the "Bad Blood" era. The industry was divided. You were either Team Taylor or Team Katy (or Team Kanye). Demi was often seen as being on the periphery of that drama, occasionally dropping comments that suggested she wasn't exactly a fan of how Taylor handled her business. This created a narrative of "ruined friendship" that existed in the real world, even if it didn't exist in the lyrics of that specific song.
The Complexity of Female Friendships in Hollywood
Pop stars live in a pressure cooker. Honestly, it’s a miracle any of them stay friends.
The media loves a "catfight" narrative. It’s easier to sell a story about two women hating each other than it is to write about the nuanced reality of two people who are just busy, growing in different directions, or dealing with the weirdness of being global icons.
Taylor Swift’s friendships are often scrutinized like political alliances. When she’s seen with someone, it’s a "statement." When she’s not seen with them for six months, the friendship is "ruined." Demi Lovato has been through similar cycles. Their relationship—whatever it is today—is likely far less dramatic than the fans want it to be. They are two professionals who have moved in the same circles for nearly two decades.
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Setting the Record Straight
Let's look at the facts we actually have.
- The Cigar: As mentioned, this is a huge clue. Nick Jonas is a well-known cigar aficionado. He’s been on the cover of Cigar Aficionado magazine. Taylor Swift is... not.
- The Confirmation: Demi practically confirmed it was about a long-time male friend. In an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, she was grilled about whether it was about Nick. Her reaction—blushing, laughing, and refusing to answer—was basically an answer in itself.
- The Current State: Taylor and Demi have both moved on. Taylor is in a high-profile relationship and her career is at an all-time peak with the Eras Tour and her recent albums. Demi has been focusing on her own path, including her rock-leaning music and personal growth.
The idea that "Ruin the Friendship" is a secret message to Taylor Swift is a fun theory for the "Gaylor" community or people who love celebrity crossovers, but it lacks any real-world evidence.
Why We Project Onto Pop Stars
We do this because it makes them feel human. If Taylor Swift can have a messy friendship that turns into a song, then our own messy friendships feel a little more manageable. We look for ourselves in their lyrics.
When you search for who is ruin the friendship about taylor swift, you’re really looking for the story behind the music. You’re looking for the "why" behind the art. In this case, the "why" is almost certainly rooted in Demi’s long-standing, complicated bond with Nick Jonas, not a secret romance or falling out with Taylor.
Actionable Insights for Fans and Fact-Checkers
If you’re trying to decode pop lyrics, keep these things in mind to avoid falling for "fan-fiction" theories:
- Look for specific nouns. Cigars, red scarves, blue eyes, specific cities—these are the "tells" songwriters leave behind.
- Check the release timeline. Songs are usually written 6 to 18 months before they are released. Look at what was happening in the artist's life during the writing process, not just the release week.
- Listen to the "No" as much as the "Yes." If an artist says a song isn't about someone, they might be lying, but if they give a very specific alternative (like Demi did regarding the "long-time friend"), it's usually the truth.
- Consider the genre. "Ruin the Friendship" is a soulful, R&B-influenced track. That style of music was Demi’s way of expressing a very specific type of intimacy that, at the time, she only shared with a few people in her inner circle.
The Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato "feud" or "friendship" will likely continue to be a topic of conversation as long as both are in the spotlight. But as far as this specific song goes? You can safely move Nick Jonas to the top of the suspect list and leave Taylor out of this one.
To stay truly informed on celebrity news, always cross-reference fan theories with verified interviews and physical evidence like tour dates and social media timelines. The most popular theory is rarely the most accurate one in the world of pop music.