Netflix dropped a coming-of-age movie that felt weirdly personal for anyone who grew up with awkward middle school transitions, but the buzz wasn't just about the cringe-comedy. It was about the names on the poster. When you look at the cast of You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, you aren't just seeing a random assortment of Hollywood actors. You’re looking at a literal family tree. It’s an Adam Sandler production, sure, but it’s not just "another Sandler movie." This time, the Happy Madison boss stepped into the background to let his daughters, Sunny and Sadie Sandler, take the lead. It changed the vibe. It made the movie feel less like a slapstick comedy and more like a home movie with a massive budget and high-end cinematography.
Honestly, the "nepo baby" discourse was peaking right when this film came out. People were ready to hate it. But then they watched it. The chemistry worked because it was real. You can't fake the specific way sisters bicker or the way a dad looks at his kid when she’s making a massive social mistake.
The Sandler Family Takeover
Sunny Sandler plays Stacy Friedman. She’s the heart of the story. If you’ve followed Adam Sandler’s career, you’ve seen Sunny in tiny cameos for years, usually just a kid in the background of a mall scene or a beach. Here, she carries the whole thing. Stacy is desperate for the perfect Bat Mitzvah, but she’s also dealing with the absolute catastrophe of her best friend, Lydia, kissing her crush. It's high stakes for a thirteen-year-old. Sunny brings a sort of nervous, frantic energy that feels authentic to that age. She isn't polished. She’s messy.
Then there is Sadie Sandler. She plays Ronnie, the older sister. Sadie’s performance is understated, mostly consisting of her lounging on couches and offering dry, cynical commentary on the chaos unfolding around her. It’s a classic big-sister trope, but Sadie makes it feel lived-in.
And then there's the dad. Adam Sandler plays Danny Friedman. It’s a different kind of Adam Sandler. He isn't the "Waterboy" or "Happy Gilmore" here. He’s a suburban dad in cargo shorts who just wants his daughter to focus on the Torah and stop worrying about the DJ. It’s a grounded performance. He spends a lot of the movie looking slightly tired, which, let's be real, is the most accurate depiction of a father of a teenager ever put to film.
Jackie Sandler, Adam’s wife, is also in the movie. But here's the twist: she doesn't play Danny’s wife. She plays Gabi, the mother of Stacy’s best friend/rival Lydia. It’s a fun bit of meta-casting that keeps the movie from feeling too much like a literal documentary of their home life.
Idina Menzel and the Uncut Gems Reunion
One of the coolest parts of the cast of You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is seeing Idina Menzel back as Adam Sandler’s wife. If you saw Uncut Gems, you know their previous "marriage" was a high-stress, screaming-match-filled nightmare. Here, it’s the opposite.
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Menzel plays Bree Friedman. She’s the stabilizing force of the family. While Danny is obsessing over the cost of the party or the guest list, Bree is the one trying to navigate the emotional minefield Stacy is walking through. Menzel doesn't have to break into song to be commanding on screen. She has this warmth that balances out the frantic Sandler energy. It was a smart move by director Sammi Cohen to pair them again; they have a shorthand that makes the Friedman household feel like it’s existed for decades before the cameras started rolling.
The Breakout Stars: Samantha Lorraine and Dylan Hoffman
You can't talk about this cast without Lydia Rodriguez Katz. Played by Samantha Lorraine, Lydia is the "cool" best friend who accidentally becomes the antagonist. Lorraine had to do something difficult here. She had to be likable enough that we want the friendship to be saved, but "guilty" enough to justify Stacy’s rage. Her performance is what makes the emotional climax of the movie actually land. Without that chemistry, the movie is just a series of party planning jokes.
Then there is Andy Goldfarb.
Dylan Hoffman plays the middle-school heartthrob. Every middle school has an Andy Goldfarb—someone who is objectively kind of a dork but somehow has every girl in the grade fighting over him. Hoffman plays him with the perfect amount of oblivious confidence. He’s the catalyst for the entire plot, and he does it mostly by just standing there and looking like a boy who likes sneakers and Hebrew school.
The Supporting Players Who Stole the Show
Sarah Sherman. If you watch Saturday Night Live, you know her as "Sarah Squirm." She plays Rabbi Rebecca.
She is incredible.
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Usually, rabbis in movies are depicted as very serious, stoic figures or as the "cool youth pastor" cliché. Sherman turns Rabbi Rebecca into a weird, singing, hyper-energetic ball of chaos who actually cares about her students. Her scenes provide some of the biggest laughs in the movie because they are so unpredictable. She brings that indie, alt-comedy edge to a movie that could have otherwise felt a bit too "Disney Channel."
And we have to mention Dan Bulla as Cantor Jerry. His interactions with the kids and the awkwardness of the rehearsals add that specific flavor of Jewish communal life that feels very specific and very accurate.
- Luis Guzmán shows up as Eli Katz. Seeing Guzmán and Sandler together again after Punch-Drunk Love is a treat for film nerds.
- Ido Mosseri plays DJ Schmuley. If he looks familiar, it’s because he was in You Don't Mess with the Zohan. He’s a Happy Madison staple.
- Dean Scott Vazquez as Mateo. He’s the "other" boy in the social circle, providing a sweet contrast to the Andy Goldfarb drama.
Why This Cast Worked Better Than Expected
People went into this movie expecting a vanity project. They expected Adam Sandler just giving his kids a job. And while he did give them a job, he also gave them a project that suited them.
The movie works because the casting reflects the actual themes of a Bat Mitzvah. It’s about family. It’s about community. It’s about the awkwardness of growing up in front of people who knew you when you were in diapers. By casting his own daughters, Sandler bypassed the need to "build" chemistry. It was already there.
There’s a specific scene where Danny (Adam) is trying to get Stacy (Sunny) to practice her portion, and the frustration feels so genuine. It’s not "actor frustration." It’s "I have told you to do your homework four times" frustration.
The Cultural Impact of the Cast
This film did something interesting for Jewish representation on screen. It wasn't about trauma or deep religious conflict. It was just a movie about a girl who wanted a cool party and happened to be Jewish. The cast of You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah populated this world with a diverse range of faces that look like actual modern Jewish communities.
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You have the Katz family and the Friedman family representing different vibes, different parenting styles, and different ways of existing in that suburban space. It felt modern. It felt like 2023.
What to Watch Next if You Loved the Cast
If you found yourself liking the specific comedic timing of the Sandler girls, you should actually look back at their cameos in Hubie Halloween or Hotel Transylvania. It’s like watching a "prequel" to their talent.
But if you’re looking for more of that specific Sammi Cohen directorial style, she also directed Crush on Hulu. She has a knack for capturing the high-intensity, low-logic world of teenage emotions.
Actionable Takeaways for Your Next Rewatch
When you go back and watch the movie again—or if you're gearing up for your first time—keep an eye on these specific details that the cast nailed:
- The Background Reactions: During the Torah reading scenes, watch the faces of the background actors. They captured the "synagogue shuffle" perfectly—the mix of pride, boredom, and waiting for the appetizers.
- Sadie Sandler’s Physicality: She’s often in the corner of the frame doing something completely different from the main action. It’s a great bit of character work for a "bored" older sister.
- The Clothing Choices: The costume department worked closely with the kids to make sure the outfits looked like things 13-year-olds actually buy, not what a 40-year-old costume designer thinks they buy. This helps the cast feel much more grounded.
This movie isn't going to win a Best Picture Oscar, but it wasn't trying to. It succeeded in being a genuine, funny, and surprisingly touching look at friendship. The cast didn't just play characters; they built a world that felt like home for ninety minutes.
If you want to dive deeper into the Happy Madison production world, check out the behind-the-scenes clips Netflix released. You can see Adam coaching the girls, and it's clear that while he's the boss, he was really there to support the next generation. It’s a passing of the torch, draped in sequins and set to a pop soundtrack.
Next Steps for Fans: Check out the official soundtrack on Spotify to see how the music choices (like Haim and Olivia Rodrigo) were curated to match the specific energy of the young cast members. You can also follow Sammi Cohen on social media for insights into how they handled the large-scale party scenes with so many young actors.