Honestly, it's rare to see a Hollywood marriage that doesn't eventually end up in a messy tabloid headline. We’ve all seen the patterns: the quick Vegas wedding, the "irreconcilable differences" filing three years later, and the awkward red carpet avoids. But then there’s Mary Steenburgen.
If you’re wondering who is Mary Steenburgen married to, the answer is the legendary Ted Danson. They’ve been together for over three decades now, and honestly, they’re basically the gold standard for how to do a long-term relationship in the public eye.
They didn't start out as the perfect pair, though. Far from it.
The Canoe Trip That Changed Everything
Back in 1993, both Mary and Ted were coming off some pretty heavy life stuff. Mary had divorced actor Malcolm McDowell in 1990, and Ted was navigating the fallout of his massive divorce from Casey Coates and a very public, very controversial relationship with Whoopi Goldberg.
They met on the set of a movie called Pontiac Moon. At the time, they both kind of thought they were done with the whole "romance" thing. Ted even admitted he felt like a "hot mess." Mary thought he was a bit "slick" because of his Cheers persona.
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Then came the canoe.
During filming, they went on a five-hour canoe trip in Mendocino, California. There’s something about being stuck on a boat together that forces you to actually talk. They paddled in sync, they laughed, and by the time they hit the shore, the vibe had shifted. They weren't just coworkers anymore.
A Wedding with Presidential Guests
By October 7, 1995, they were ready to make it official. They got married on Martha’s Vineyard, and it wasn't some tiny elopement. We’re talking a guest list that included Tom Hanks, Laura Dern, and Woody Harrelson.
Oh, and the President of the United States.
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Because Mary is from Arkansas, she’s long-time friends with Bill and Hillary Clinton. Bill Clinton actually gave a speech at their rehearsal dinner. Imagine having the Leader of the Free World toast your marriage—no pressure, right? Mary wore an Elizabethan-style gown with little violet flowers on the bodice. Those flowers weren't just for decoration; there were six of them, representing Mary, Ted, and their four children from previous marriages.
The Secret Sauce of Their 30-Year Run
So, how do they stay so obsessed with each other? It's now 2026, and they just celebrated their 30th anniversary in October 2025. Ted gave her a beaded bracelet made by Kate Taylor (James Taylor’s sister), and Mary posted about how those 30 years have felt like a "beautiful field of gold."
They have these little rituals that keep them grounded.
- The 4:30 AM Rule: They usually wake up super early. Not to hit the gym, but to play Wordle, Connections, and Spelling Bee together over coffee.
- The Compliment Streak: Ted reportedly gives her a compliment every single day.
- Constant Collaboration: They don't just live together; they work together. They recently joined forces again for the second season of the Netflix hit A Man on the Inside.
They’ve also mastered the art of the blended family. Mary’s kids, Lilly and Charlie McDowell, and Ted’s daughters, Kate and Alexis, grew up as a unit. Now, they’re "obsessed" grandparents to five grandkids.
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What We Can Learn from Mary and Ted
It’s easy to look at famous people and think their lives are just scripted perfections. But Mary and Ted are open about the fact that they met when they had "stared down some demons." They were older—she was 40 and he was 45. They knew who they were before they tried to be a "we."
If you're looking for a takeaway from their story, it's probably that kindness is underrated. They don't have "rules" for their marriage. They just treat each other well.
Next Steps for Fans:
If you want to see their chemistry in action, check out their early work in Gulliver's Travels (1996) or their hilarious, fictionalized "divorce" in Curb Your Enthusiasm. It’s a great way to see why they’ve stayed at the top of the entertainment world while keeping their hearts intact.