Theo Von is a hard guy to pin down. One minute he’s telling a story about a man in his hometown who used to fight ghosts, and the next he’s getting deep about the "dark arts" of depression. But when it comes to the question of who has Theo Von dated, the trail gets surprisingly thin for a guy who has been in the spotlight since the early 2000s.
You’d think a guy who started on Road Rules and became one of the biggest podcasters on the planet would have a trail of high-profile exes. Honestly, it’s mostly just rumors, one very public "shmate," and a lot of self-deprecating jokes about why he’s still single in 2026.
The Brandi Glanville Era: A "Shmate" to Remember
If you search for Theo Von’s dating history, the name that pops up immediately is Brandi Glanville. Back in 2016, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum and the Rat King actually gave it a real shot. Well, sort of.
They met the way most people in LA meet now: they did each other's podcasts. First, she went on his show, Allegedly, and then he went on hers, Brandi Glanville: Unfiltered.
There was genuine chemistry. People saw them holding hands at comedy shows. They flirted on Twitter about parachute pants. But the most Theo Von thing ever happened on one of their early dates. Theo recounted the story on his podcast, calling her "Shmandi Shmanville" to be "discreet."
He was having what he thought was a medical emergency—his chest was tight, he was sweating, and he felt like he was having a stroke. Turns out it was probably just bad indigestion or a panic attack, but he had to cut the date short. Brandi, being Brandi, thought he was just making up an excuse to leave. She even offered to punch him in the chest to "fix" it.
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They "cooled off" shortly after. Brandi told the press that the media attention got too intense too fast. Since then, they’ve stayed friendly, but that was the last time Theo had a truly "public" celebrity girlfriend.
The Reality TV Roots: Sarah Greyson and the Early Days
Before the podcasts and the Netflix specials, Theo was just a kid from Louisiana on MTV. On Road Rules: Maximum Velocity Tour, he was linked to castmate Sarah Greyson.
If you remember that era of TV, everyone was hooking up. It was basically a requirement. While they had a connection on screen, it didn't turn into a lifelong romance. Theo has since talked about how those early reality TV days were weird for his development. You're 19, you're on camera, and you're trying to figure out how to be a man while everyone is watching.
He’s dropped hints over the years about other "reality stars" he’s seen, but he rarely names names. He prefers to keep the mystery alive, or maybe he just doesn't want the drama.
The "Ideal Woman" vs. The Rumor Mill
Lately, the internet has been obsessed with finding out who Theo is seeing. In late 2025 and early 2026, rumors started swirling on Reddit and TikTok about him "going public" with a new girlfriend.
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Names like Suede Brooks have been tossed around, mostly because fans love to play detective with Instagram tags and background shadows in photos. But here’s the thing: Theo is a master of the "maybe." He talks about wanting a "wholesome" girl, but then jokes that he only meets "yacht rats" or people with "mentally ill family members."
It’s a weird paradox.
He’s incredibly vulnerable on This Past Weekend.
He talks about his commitment issues.
He talks about his fear of growing up because he didn't have a "happy" childhood.
But when it comes to a name and a face? He keeps that door locked tight. Some fans think he’s been dating 24-year-olds for years, while others think he’s secretly lonely and just hasn't found "the one."
Why Theo Stays Single (According to Theo)
In a 2023 episode of his podcast, he got real about his "clean-up hitter" style of dating. He joked that he’s not the guy who goes 11 rounds; he’s the guy who comes in at the end.
Behind the jokes, there’s a recurring theme of avoidant attachment. He’s admitted to:
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- Getting "the ick" way too fast.
- Worrying that a relationship will take away his "edge."
- Feeling like he’s "doomed" to find love late in life, just like his father did.
His dad was 70 when Theo was born. That’s a heavy piece of family history to carry. Theo often says he feels like he’s on his dad’s timeline, which means he’s got plenty of time before he needs to settle down.
What Most People Get Wrong About Theo’s Dating Life
The biggest misconception is that he’s some kind of wild playboy. While he definitely has his fun, he’s spoken more about the "loneliness of the road" than he has about any crazy conquests.
He’s a "people person" who seems to struggle with letting one specific person in. He’s also incredibly busy. Between a massive touring schedule and producing multiple podcast episodes a week, there isn't much room for a "traditional" relationship.
Actionable Insights for Fans
If you're trying to keep up with who Theo Von is dating, don't trust every TikTok "leak." Here is how to actually spot if he's in a relationship:
- Listen to the "Solo" episodes: That’s where he’s most honest. If he starts talking about "we" instead of "I" when mentioning weekend trips, something is up.
- Watch the "vibe": Fans noticed a shift in his energy in late 2025. He seemed more "settled." Whether that’s a woman or just better therapy, only he knows.
- Ignore the "Shmandi" type rumors: He’s unlikely to date a high-profile reality star again. He’s gone on record saying he prefers someone more "low-key" and away from the cameras.
The Rat King might be single for now, but he’s clearly thinking about the future. Whether he finds a "wholesome" girl or keeps "shmommunicating" with the world through a microphone, his dating life remains one of the most private parts of a very public life.