Life has a nasty habit of pulling the rug out from under you just when you think you’ve got everything figured out. You do the right things. You work hard, you’re kind to your neighbors, and you try to be a decent person. Then, out of nowhere, something breaks. A diagnosis, a layoff, a sudden loss. It feels like a betrayal.
Honestly, most of us grew up with this unspoken contract in our heads: if I’m good, life will be good to me. But the world doesn't work that way. It’s messy. It’s unfair. This is exactly what When Bad Things Happen to Good People Harold S. Kushner tackles head-on.
Harold Kushner wasn't just some academic writing from an ivory tower. He was a rabbi in Massachusetts who lived through every parent's worst nightmare. His son, Aaron, was diagnosed with progeria—a rare disease that causes rapid aging—at just three years old. Aaron died just after his 14th birthday. Kushner had to reconcile his faith in a loving God with the reality of his son’s body literally wearing out before he even hit puberty.
He didn't find comfort in the standard religious clichés. In fact, he found them pretty insulting.
The Problem with "Everything Happens for a Reason"
We’ve all heard it. Someone dies too young or a house burns down, and a well-meaning friend says, "God has a plan" or "Everything happens for a reason."
Kushner basically says: No.
That’s a bold thing for a rabbi to say, right? But he realized that if we believe God is behind every tragedy, then we end up hating God. Or worse, we start blaming ourselves. If your child gets sick, and you believe God is in total control, you start wondering what you did wrong to deserve that punishment. You look back at that one time you lied on your taxes or skipped a service, and you think, Is this my fault?
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Kushner argues that this kind of thinking is toxic. It adds a layer of crushing guilt onto an already unbearable pile of grief. He looks at the Book of Job and flips the script. Instead of God being a puppet master who sends suffering to test us, Kushner suggests that God might not be the cause of the tragedy at all.
Is God actually "all-powerful"?
This is the part that gets a lot of people riled up. Traditional theology says God is three things: all-good, all-knowing, and all-powerful. Kushner suggests that maybe we have to pick two.
He chooses to believe God is all-good and all-knowing, but that God’s power is limited by the laws of nature and human free will.
Think about it. The same gravity that keeps us on the ground also makes people fall. The same biology that allows cells to grow and repair sometimes leads to cancer. Kushner's take is that these are just the "rules of the game" in a physical universe. God doesn't step in to suspend the laws of physics every time a good person is in danger.
When Bad Things Happen to Good People Harold S. Kushner: The Real Question
Most people spend years asking "Why?"
Why me? Why now? Why him?
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Kushner thinks "Why?" is a dead end. It’s a question that looks backward, trying to find a cause or a culprit. It makes you a victim. He argues that the more important question—the one that actually helps you survive—is "What now?"
Now that this has happened, how am I going to live? Who is going to help me? Where can I find the strength to get out of bed?
Prayer isn't a vending machine
If you follow Kushner’s logic, prayer changes too. You aren't praying to a celestial vending machine to change the outcome of a surgery or stop a storm. In his view, God can't always do that.
Instead, prayer is about connection. It's about asking for the courage to face what’s coming. It’s about tapping into a source of strength that is larger than yourself. Kushner saw God not as the one who sends the storm, but as the one who gives you the umbrella and stands beside you in the rain.
That's a massive shift in perspective. It moves God from being the "executioner" to being the "comforter."
Why the book still hits home in 2026
We live in an age of "toxic positivity" and "manifesting." You see it all over social media. People tell you that if you just have the right mindset or the right vibes, you can control your destiny. It’s just a modern, secular version of the same old "good things happen to good people" myth.
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When it doesn't work—when the "manifestation" fails and life gets ugly—people feel like failures. They feel like they didn't "vibe" hard enough.
Kushner’s wisdom is the antidote to that. He gives us permission to acknowledge that life is often random and unfair. It’s not your fault. You didn't "attract" the bad thing. Sometimes, bad things just happen because the world is a complex, physical place with moving parts that occasionally crash into each other.
Critiques and the "limited God"
Of course, not everyone loves this idea. Plenty of theologians argue that a God who isn't all-powerful isn't really God at all. They find his "theistic finitism" (that's the fancy term for it) to be a bit too close to atheism for comfort.
But for millions of people who have sat in hospital waiting rooms or funeral homes, Kushner’s "limited God" feels more real than a "perfect" one who chose to let their loved one suffer. It’s a trade-off: you lose the comfort of a God who is in total control, but you gain a God who is actually on your side.
Actionable Steps for Navigating the Unfair
If you’re currently in the middle of a "bad thing" and you’re struggling to make sense of it, here is how you can apply Kushner’s insights today:
- Stop looking for the "reason." Give yourself permission to stop trying to figure out why this happened. Accept that it might be random, unfair, and completely without a "divine plan." This stops the cycle of self-blame.
- Reframe your prayer or meditation. Instead of asking for the situation to be magically fixed, ask for the resilience to endure it. Focus on phrases like "Give me the strength to handle this hour" rather than "Make this go away."
- Identify your "comforters." Look for the people who show up without clichés. The ones who bring a meal, sit in silence, or just say "This sucks, and I'm here." According to Kushner, that's where God shows up—in the hands and hearts of people helping each other.
- Separate God from the tragedy. If you feel angry at God, try to redirect that anger toward the disease, the accident, or the injustice itself. View God as being just as outraged as you are.
- Focus on the "What Now." Every morning, ask yourself: "What is one small thing I can do today to reclaim a bit of my life from this grief?" It doesn't have to be big. It just has to be a step forward.
Read the book if you haven't. It’s short, it’s punchy, and it doesn't sugarcoat the pain. It won't tell you that everything will be okay, but it will tell you that you aren't alone in the dark. That’s usually enough to keep going.