If you were a kid in the late nineties, you probably have a specific melody burned into your brain. It involves a choir of cartoon voices singing about a world-class figure skater fighting grizzly bears with "magical fire breath."
Honestly, it’s one of the weirdest cultural crossovers in history. On one side, you have Brian Boitano, the 1988 Olympic gold medalist known for his technical perfection and stoic grace. On the other, you have South Park, a show that, at the time, was mostly famous for fart jokes and killing a kid in an orange parka every week.
But when the question what would brian boitano do first echoed through the theaters during the 1999 South Park movie, it became more than just a gag. It became a legitimate life philosophy for people who didn't even know what a triple Lutz was.
The Origin of the Legend
The whole "Brian Boitano as a superhero" thing didn't actually start with the movie. It goes back even further to the very roots of South Park. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators, put Boitano in their second "Spirit of Christmas" short back in 1995. In that clip, he shows up like a shimmering angel to give advice to the boys.
Why him? Because to those guys, Boitano represented the ultimate "good guy." He was wholesome. He was reliable. He was the guy who could fix anything.
By the time South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut hit theaters, the joke had evolved into a full-blown anthem. The lyrics claim he built the pyramids, traveled to the year 3010 to fight an evil robot king, and "doesn't take shit from anybody."
It’s hilarious because the real Brian Boitano is famously polite. He’s a guy from Sunnyvale, California, who spent his life training in cold rinks. The contrast between the polite athlete and the grizzly-bear-fighting myth is exactly why the meme stuck.
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What Most People Get Wrong About the Meme
A lot of people think the song was making fun of Boitano. They assume it was a mean-spirited jab at figure skating.
That's actually not true at all.
Trey and Matt have always been weirdly sincere about their love for certain celebrities, and Boitano was one of them. He was their hero. When the movie came out, Boitano actually went to see it alone in a theater, terrified he was going to be the butt of a cruel joke.
Instead, he heard a theater full of people cheering his name.
He didn't sue. He didn't get offended. He did exactly what the song suggested: he made a plan and followed through. He reached out to the South Park guys, and they ended up collaborating on charity T-shirts. He even used the phrase for his own Food Network show, What Would Brian Boitano Make?
That’s how you handle a meme. You lean into it.
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The Real-Life "Battle of the Brians"
To understand why the world needed to ask what would brian boitano do, you have to look at 1988. This was the peak of the "Battle of the Brians."
It was Brian Boitano versus Canada’s Brian Orser.
The media circus was insane. It was the Cold War on ice, basically. Boitano was known as a "jumping robot"—technically perfect but maybe a little bit stiff. Orser was the artist, the one with the charisma.
To win, Boitano had to change. He hired Sandra Bezic to help him find some soul. He grew a mustache. He wore a military-style outfit for his "Napoleon" program.
The 1988 Olympic final in Calgary was probably the greatest night in figure skating history. Boitano landed eight triple jumps. He did his signature triple Lutz with his arm over his head (the "Tano Lutz"). He won the gold in a 5-4 split decision. It was the definition of "making a plan and following through."
Why We Are Still Talking About It in 2026
You might think a thirty-year-old song would be dead by now. But look at where we are in 2026.
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Boitano is still everywhere. He’s currently co-hosting major Olympic podcasts for the 2026 Winter Games in Milan and Cortina. He’s still a huge part of the skating community, helping lead the "Legacy on Ice" benefits.
More importantly, the "WWBBDO" mindset has become a sort of shorthand for resilience.
Think about it. We live in a world that's constantly screaming. Everything is a crisis. When someone asks what would brian boitano do, they aren't actually asking about time travel or robot kings. They’re asking: "How do I stay cool under pressure?"
It's about having the "athlete's mindset." It’s about being the person who shows up to the rink at 5:00 AM when it's freezing outside and doing the work because that's what's on the schedule.
Actionable Lessons from the Boitano Philosophy
If you’re facing a tough choice today, you can actually use the Boitano framework. It’s not just a song; it’s a strategy.
- Audit your "Second Mark": In skating, the first mark is technical, the second is artistic. Are you focusing too much on the mechanics of your life and forgetting the soul? Sometimes you need to "hire a choreographer" for your career or your relationships.
- The "Tano" Twist: How can you take a standard task and add your own signature? Boitano didn't just do a Lutz; he did it with his arm up. Find your version of that.
- Own the Narrative: When life makes a joke out of you, don't get defensive. Boitano turned a South Park parody into a cooking career and a renovation show in Italy. If you can't beat the meme, be the meme.
- The 5-4 Strategy: You don't need a unanimous vote to win. You just need to be slightly better than you were yesterday. Boitano won gold by the skin of his teeth.
So, next time you're stuck in traffic or your boss is acting like an "evil robot king," just remember the lyrics. Take a breath. Make a plan. Follow through.
What to do next
To see the philosophy in action, look up Boitano’s 1988 "Military" long program on YouTube. Watch the focus in his eyes before the music starts. That's the energy you want to bring into your next big meeting or difficult conversation. If you’re really feeling it, you might even consider trying one of the recipes from his cookbook—because honestly, knowing how to cook a decent meal is probably the most "Brian Boitano" thing you can do for yourself this week.