The idea of marrying a cousin usually gets one of two reactions: a shrug or a full-on shudder. Honestly, it depends entirely on where you grew up. In some parts of the world, it’s just how things are done. But here in the states? It’s a mess of conflicting laws and old-school taboos that change the moment you cross a state line.
You might be surprised to learn that it isn't a federal "no-go." The U.S. government doesn't actually have a single rule for this. Instead, we have a patchwork. Some states treat it like any other wedding. Others? They’ll throw you in jail for it.
What States Is It Legal to Marry Your Cousin Right Now?
If you’re looking for the short answer, about 18 to 19 states (depending on how you count the "unrestricted" ones) let first cousins walk down the aisle without any extra paperwork or "if-then" scenarios.
Basically, if you live in California or New York, the law doesn't care if your spouse is also your aunt’s son. It's perfectly legal. The same goes for places like Alabama, Florida, and Georgia. It's a bit of a "coastal and southern" trend, weirdly enough.
The "Green Light" States
In these states, there are no specific statutes prohibiting first cousins from marrying:
- Alabama
- California
- Colorado
- Connecticut (though keep an eye on this—new laws were proposed recently)
- Florida
- Georgia
- Hawaii
- Maryland
- Massachusetts
- New Jersey
- New Mexico
- New York
- North Carolina (with very specific, rare exceptions for double cousins)
- Rhode Island
- South Carolina
- Tennessee
- Vermont
- Virginia
It's a strange list. You’ve got the most progressive states in the union sharing the same marriage laws as some of the most conservative. It shows that these laws aren't always about "politics"—they’re often just leftovers from the 1800s that nobody ever bothered to change.
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The "It's Complicated" States
Then there are the states that say "yes," but only if you meet certain criteria. This is where it gets kinda bizarre. Usually, these laws are designed to prevent children from being born into the union, which tells you exactly what the lawmakers were worried about.
Arizona and Utah have almost identical rules. You can marry your cousin if you’re both 65 or older. Why 65? Because they figure the "baby" ship has sailed. If you're younger, say 55, you can sometimes get a pass if you can prove one of you is infertile.
Maine takes a different route. They don't care about your age, but they do care about your DNA. You have to undergo genetic counseling and show proof of it to a physician before you can get that marriage license.
Illinois allows it if you’re over 50 or if one partner is sterile.
Where It’s a No-Go (And Even a Crime)
In about 24 states, first-cousin marriage is just flat-out banned. Texas is pretty famous for this. They don't just stop you from getting a license; they actually classify sexual relations between first cousins as a criminal offense under their "incest" statutes.
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The States with Bans
- Arkansas
- Delaware
- Idaho
- Iowa
- Kentucky
- Louisiana
- Michigan
- Minnesota
- Mississippi
- Missouri
- Montana
- Nebraska
- Nevada
- New Hampshire
- North Dakota
- Ohio
- Oklahoma
- Oregon
- Pennsylvania
- South Dakota
- Texas
- Washington
- West Virginia
- Wyoming
If you're in one of these spots, a marriage license is off the table. Period.
The Genetic Elephant in the Room
Most people think marrying a cousin is a one-way ticket to genetic disaster. But the science is actually more nuanced than the 19th-century "barbaric" labels would have you believe.
First cousins share about $12.5%$ of their DNA. For comparison, you share $50%$ with a parent or a sibling. According to experts at the National Society of Genetic Counselors, the risk of a child having a birth defect when born to unrelated parents is about $3%$ to $4%$. For first cousins, that risk jumps to $7%$ to $8%$.
Is it a higher risk? Yes. Is it the "guaranteed tragedy" that pop culture makes it out to be? Not really. The real danger happens when first-cousin marriages happen generation after generation in the same family line. That’s when those recessive genes really start to stack up.
The "Move and Marry" Loophole
A common question is: "Can I just drive to a state where it’s legal, get married, and come home?"
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The answer is: Kinda, but maybe not.
This is a legal nightmare called "lex loci celebrationis"—the law of the place of celebration. Generally, states recognize marriages performed in other states. However, many states have "public policy" exceptions. If Texas says cousin marriage is "incestuous and void," they might refuse to recognize a California marriage license between two cousins.
This gets especially messy with things like inheritance, health insurance, and immigration. If you’re trying to sponsor a spouse for a green card and you’re first cousins, USCIS will check the laws of the state where you intend to live. If you're moving to a state where it's illegal, your marriage might not be considered "valid" for immigration purposes.
The Stigma vs. The Law
Even in states where it's totally legal, like New York, you're probably not going to get a standing ovation at the Thanksgiving table. The social taboo is often stronger than the law itself.
Historically, this wasn't always the case. Charles Darwin married his first cousin. So did Edgar Allan Poe and Albert Einstein. It was actually a way for wealthy families to keep land and money within the "clan." The shift toward banning it in the U.S. really took off in the mid-1800s, partially due to a growing (though at the time, poorly understood) grasp of genetics, but also because of a weird social push to look more "civilized" than Europe.
Actionable Next Steps
If you or someone you know is actually navigating this, don't just wing it based on a map you saw online.
- Talk to a Family Law Attorney: Specifically one in the state where you plan to live. You need to know if your marriage will be "void" or "voidable."
- Genetic Counseling: If kids are in the picture, go see a pro. They can run panels to see if you both carry the same recessive traits. It’s better to have the data than to guess.
- Check Local Clerk Requirements: Even in "legal" states, individual counties might have different paperwork requirements for people who share a surname or lineage.
The legal landscape is always shifting. For instance, Connecticut has been debating tightening their laws recently. Always check the specific "Revised Statutes" of your state before making life-altering plans.