He was barely twenty. Maybe nineteen. Honestly, historical records from the 10th century are a bit fuzzy on the exact birth certificate, but Octavian—the boy who would become Pope John XII—was essentially a teenager handed the keys to the most powerful spiritual office on Earth. Imagine a frat boy inheriting the Vatican.
It went about as well as you’d expect.
Most people think of the papacy as a line of elderly, pious men in white robes. But the mid-960s were a different beast entirely. We’re talking about the Saeculum obscurum, the "Dark Age" of the papacy. Rome wasn't just a religious hub; it was a political snake pit where noble families treated the chair of St. Peter like a family heirloom. John XII didn't just stumble into the job. His father, Alberic II, the self-appointed "Prince of Rome," literally forced the Roman clergy to swear an oath on his deathbed that they would elect his son.
Nepotism? Absolutely. A disaster waiting to happen? You bet.
Why History Remembers the "Boy Pope" for All the Wrong Reasons
If you look up the "worst popes," John XII is usually sitting right at the top of the list, occasionally duking it out with the Borgias for the title. But he was arguably more chaotic. While the Borgias were calculated and power-hungry, John XII seemed more interested in treating the Lateran Palace like a high-end Vegas suite.
Liutprand of Cremona, a bishop and chronicler who lived at the time (and, to be fair, absolutely hated John), didn't hold back. He claimed the Pope turned the sacred palace into a literal brothel. He wasn't just talking about a few indiscretions. The accusations included:
- Drinking toasts to the Devil during dinner parties.
- Gambling with the church’s money and invoking pagan gods for luck at the dice table.
- Ordaining a ten-year-old as a bishop in a stable.
- Mutilating his enemies (one cardinal allegedly had his hand cut off).
Was all of it true? Probably not. Liutprand was writing for John’s political rival, Emperor Otto I, so he had every reason to paint the kid as a monster. But even if you strip away the "drinking to Satan" stories, the remaining facts are still pretty wild. John XII was a secular prince who happened to be Pope, and he spent more time hunting and fighting wars than he ever did praying.
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The Alliance That Backfired: Otto the Great
By 960, John was in over his head. He had tried to play soldier and invade the Lombard duchies in the south, but he got crushed. With his enemies closing in, he did something that changed European history forever: he called for help from the German King, Otto I.
In 962, John crowned Otto as Holy Roman Emperor. This was a massive deal. It basically resurrected the empire in the West. But John quickly realized he’d made a mistake. Otto wasn't a "silent partner." He was a stern, disciplined ruler who looked at the young Pope’s lifestyle and started giving him "fatherly" advice about morality.
John hated being told what to do. The second Otto left Rome to go fight a war, John started writing secret letters to Otto’s enemies, trying to build a coalition against his own protector. He even teamed up with the Byzantines.
When Otto found out, he was livid. He marched back to Rome, and John—realizing he couldn't win a fight against the most powerful army in Europe—grabbed the church treasury and fled into the mountains of Campania.
The Trial and the "Impossible" Deposition
In November 963, Otto convened a synod to deal with the "John problem." This is where the legal drama gets interesting. Canon law at the time basically said nobody could judge a Pope. He was the supreme authority. But the bishops were done. They listed out a laundry list of crimes—murder, perjury, sacrilege, and incest.
They sent a letter to John in hiding, basically saying, "Hey, come back and defend yourself."
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John’s response? A one-sentence letter that essentially said: "I hear you're planning to elect a new pope. If you do, I excommunicate all of you so you can't perform mass or ordain anyone ever again."
It was a bold move. It didn't work. Otto deposed him anyway and installed a guy named Leo VIII. But the Roman people still felt a weird loyalty to the "legitimate" Pope. As soon as Otto left town, John came back with a hired army, kicked Leo out, and started a brutal campaign of revenge against the bishops who had turned on him.
How Pope John XII Actually Died: Legend vs. Reality
The end of John XII is the stuff of urban legend. Because he was so controversial, his death had to be dramatic.
The most common story—the one you'll see in most "weird history" books—is that he died in flagrante delicto. The legend says he was in bed with a married woman named Stefanetta when her husband walked in. The husband, not caring about the "Holy Father" title, allegedly beat him so badly (or threw him out a window) that he died of his injuries a few days later on May 14, 964.
Another version suggests he had a stroke during the act.
Honestly, he was in his late twenties and had lived a very "high-octane" life. Whether it was a stroke or a jealous husband, the irony wasn't lost on the people of Rome. He died as he lived: focusing on the secular world while holding a spiritual office.
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Why This Chaotic Papacy Still Matters Today
It’s easy to look at John XII as just a "bad apple," but his reign forced the Church to eventually rethink how Popes were chosen. You can't have a system where a local warlord just points at his teenage son and says, "He’s the Pope now."
His chaos led to the Diploma Ottonianum, an agreement that gave the Emperor the right to confirm papal elections. This sparked centuries of power struggles between Popes and Kings (the famous Investiture Controversy), but it also slowly moved the papacy away from being a puppet of Roman street gangs.
What You Can Learn From the John XII Story
If you're a history buff or just someone interested in how power works, there are a few real-world takeaways here:
- Sources Matter: Almost everything we know about John XII comes from his enemies. History is written by the victors, and Otto’s historians were very good at their jobs. Take the "toasting the devil" stories with a grain of salt.
- Institutional Stability: The fact that the Catholic Church survived a leader like John XII is often used by theologians as an argument for the institution's divine protection—the idea being that if a guy like that couldn't destroy it, nothing could.
- The Danger of "Legacy" Hires: John XII is the ultimate cautionary tale against nepotism. When you put someone in a position of power solely because of their name, without the character to match, the institution always pays the price.
If you want to dive deeper into this era, look for the writings of Liutprand of Cremona (specifically his Historia Ottonis). It’s a wild, biased, and incredibly entertaining primary source. You might also check out Ferdinand Gregorovius, whose 19th-century work on the history of Rome in the Middle Ages is still a gold standard for understanding the political climate that allowed a teenager to become the Bishop of Rome.
The next time you think modern politics is "unprecedented" or messy, just remember the 960s. We haven't had a Pope thrown out a window by a jealous husband in over a millennium. That’s progress.
Next Steps for Your Research:
- Search for the "Saeculum obscurum" to understand the 60-year period of papal scandals.
- Compare John XII to Pope Benedict IX, another "youthful" and controversial Pope who allegedly sold the papacy.
- Read about the Janiculum Hill and the Lateran Palace to get a sense of the geography where these events unfolded.